Panicking on new boat purchase

[Cliffhanger]

This is good. It means you are buying the boat with your head and not your heart. You will have plenty of time to fall in love with it later.

[sanibel sailor]

Originally Posted by FastTrout

No.

Emotion has no place in business.

It’s a transaction, just like buying a apple or a broom

As far as the wife goes, that just comes down to who made the money for the boat, and if you have any critical items that you should be using the money for.

ie if you have outstanding debts, that should be taken care of before you buy a boat, however if you don’t have outstanding debts, you are providing properly for your wife/family, and you’re the bread winner, you might need to have a come to Jesus with your wife before this type of thing festers into a divorce.

FYI- this would not fly with my spouse. She considers our marriage an equal partnership and that we have pooled our assets and own them equally. Maybe kind of a new fangled notion for some.

[Don C L]

Originally Posted by Dave Lochner

Conflicting ideas, did I buy the right boat, should I buy a boat, can I handle the boat, can I get out of the deal, maybe the money should go elsewhere. The remorse is "What if I get stuck with this boat I don't want? I should have looked at more boats."

Yes. This is why recommendations are often "start small and cheap" and to get a lot of time in on other people's boats before going shopping.

[LittleWing77]

Originally Posted by GiorgioS

Thanks to you all. Yes, I live in Rome and I got a RYA coastal skipper certificate, I have been sailing for some ten years now. The boat is a Hallberg Rassy 312, and is sooo beautiful. Unfortunately, I have to fight my wife who thinks this is a total waste of money. But this is a common problem, I guess

+1 DogScout and +1 Giorgio!

You'll be fine. I love how DS said, "You can't just sit on the couch.."

Your wife sounds as if she will be a tough nut to crack, though. Be gentle with her and only take her out sailing in 5-10 knots at first - gentle pootles - that sort of thing.

Please post pictures when she's finally YOURS!

Fair, fair winds and following seas to you,
LittleWing77

[GiorgioS]

Friends,

here is the update: I walked away. The reason is not that I am a lousy sailor - which I most certainly am - but that I suddenly realized how far from the initial budget I went. I guess you all know the mechanism. You start with a reasonably priced thing, then you find something slightly - just a bit - more expensive, and you say, why not? So, one step after the other, I found myself buying a boat more for more then twice the initial price. But hey, you are still in the dream and your eyes and mind are full of the vision of that perfect boat that comes with that price. Then something hits you. Perhaps you just sum up the price of the boat, the survey, the broker, the insurance, the berth, the agency....and the result is just appalling. So, my next step is either decide to rent for life, or a decidedly cheap, small boat for daysailing.
Please forgive me for bothering you: my only excuse is that perhaps this is something that happened, of might happen, to many of us.
All the very best,

Giorgio

[Rustler20]

Originally Posted by GiorgioS

Dear fellow members,

I think I need some psychological support from the community. I made an offer for a used boat: next Friday the survey will take place, price is good, and she looks great. I have been waiting this moment for years, looking for the right model, I should be the happiest chap in the world, and instead...I am panicking! I have even considered walking away a losing the deposit, just for the anxiety this choice is pulling on me. Did anybody of you ever feel the same?

Thanks

Giorgio

You are not alone my friend, I am purchasing a used boat this week and survey will be Thursday, I felt anxious up to the point where we final agreed conditions on my offer were accepted. It is all go this week so much more relaxed as the conditions I have put in save me in the event the inventory and the boat intigerity are not as disclosed!

[Timreyn]

I did the same thing as you. When I made the deal to buy our boat I began having severe anxiety. This was after a long consideration of doing the boat deal. I almost backed out then went with it even though my instincts told me to run. We bought the boat and it has been the most satisfying thing we have ever done. For me, a very confident person, a big life change always triggers a bout of anxiety, sometimes severe. If you were ready to do this before this hit you then trust your original instincts and go forward. Enjoy your new boat!

[Don C L]

Originally Posted by GiorgioS

Friends,

here is the update: I walked away. The reason is not that I am a lousy sailor - which I most certainly am - but that I suddenly realized how far from the initial budget I went. I guess you all know the mechanism. You start with a reasonably priced thing, then you find something slightly - just a bit - more expensive, and you say, why not? So, one step after the other, I found myself buying a boat more for more then twice the initial price. But hey, you are still in the dream and your eyes and mind are full of the vision of that perfect boat that comes with that price. Then something hits you. Perhaps you just sum up the price of the boat, the survey, the broker, the insurance, the berth, the agency....and the result is just appalling. So, my next step is either decide to rent for life, or a decidedly cheap, small boat for daysailing.
Please forgive me for bothering you: my only excuse is that perhaps this is something that happened, of might happen, to many of us.
All the very best,

Giorgio

AHA! No wonder you were so nervous! Stay on the budget next time and don't worry, another boat will be there. What size/make were you looking for again? Only HR or others? In the meantime now you have time to rent a little boat once in a while for sunset sails with your wife and perhaps then she will be the one looking for the "for sale" signs in the harbors! Good luck!

[fabgo]

I am in a similar situation to the OP. I recently had an offer accepted. Survey is tomorrow.

This thread has been a godsend and was started at just the right time.

I have also been grappling with anxiety and doubt since the offer was accepted. It's good to know I am not alone with these crazy feelings.

But I think part of it is also that the pandemic has already frazzled my nerves. I've noticed it creep into my psyche more and more over the last few months as it rages on.

Thanks to everyone who responded!

[Don C L]

Originally Posted by fabgo

I am in a similar situation to the OP. I recently had an offer accepted. Survey is tomorrow.

This thread has been a godsend and was started at just the right time.

I have also been grappling with anxiety and doubt since the offer was accepted. It's good to know I am not alone with these crazy feelings.

But I think part of it is also that the pandemic has already frazzled my nerves. I've noticed it creep into my psyche more and more over the last few months as it rages on.

Thanks to everyone who responded!

Your nerves will feel so much better once you're sailing out on the Bay!

[flee27]

Having just closed on a new to me boat I understand completely what you are going through. As others have stated I think it is normal and healthy. Buying a boat is 99.99999999% a dumb financial decision. And therefore should be done with a certain amount of apprehension.

But we all buy boats hoping to fulfill something that isn't financial. These things are more important than money and hopefully your boat will deliver as hoped. Good luck and through the stress of buying a boat remember to have fun and enjoy the process also.

Good luck,

Foster

[Creedence]

Originally Posted by GiorgioS

Friends,

here is the update: I walked away. The reason is not that I am a lousy sailor - which I most certainly am - but that I suddenly realized how far from the initial budget I went. I guess you all know the mechanism. You start with a reasonably priced thing, then you find something slightly - just a bit - more expensive, and you say, why not? So, one step after the other, I found myself buying a boat more for more then twice the initial price. But hey, you are still in the dream and your eyes and mind are full of the vision of that perfect boat that comes with that price. Then something hits you. Perhaps you just sum up the price of the boat, the survey, the broker, the insurance, the berth, the agency....and the result is just appalling. So, my next step is either decide to rent for life, or a decidedly cheap, small boat for daysailing.
Please forgive me for bothering you: my only excuse is that perhaps this is something that happened, of might happen, to many of us.
All the very best,

Giorgio

Very responsible of you to make the hard choice. You'll have to live with the financial implications once the purchase is complete. You have amazing self restraint, and that will certainly serve you well once you do find the right boat for the right price.

Too many of us (I'm more than happy to lump myself into this group at times) end up getting so target fixated that we end up regretting purchases, or at least struggling with the outcomes.

[Don C L]

Originally Posted by Creedence

Very responsible of you to make the hard choice. You'll have to live with the financial implications once the purchase is complete. You have amazing self restraint, and that will certainly serve you well once you do find the right boat for the right price.

Too many of us (I'm more than happy to lump myself into this group at times) end up getting so target fixated that we end up regretting purchases, or at least struggling with the outcomes.

That photo... perfect.

[gconley]

Originally Posted by GiorgioS

Dear fellow members,

I think I need some psychological support from the community. I made an offer for a used boat: next Friday the survey will take place, price is good, and she looks great. I have been waiting this moment for years, looking for the right model, I should be the happiest chap in the world, and instead...I am panicking! I have even considered walking away a losing the deposit, just for the anxiety this choice is pulling on me. Did anybody of you ever feel the same?

Thanks

Giorgio

In the words of William Shakespeare


"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good, we oft might win, by fearing to attempt..."


(from the play measure to measure)
good luck

[Mighty Seamus]

While I cannot offer any helpful words I wanted to thanks those that did reply with them. I’m boat shopping myself, and am fearful of making a bad purchase.
The supportive comments refreshed my waining enthusiasm (boat shopping during covid sucks) and I’m grateful for it.

Thanks,
MS.