I think My friend may have a sailing problem.

[Kd9truck]

Hi CF members, I think My friend may have a sailing problem, He listed his boat in Nov and just received a full asking price offer, and a high one at that, and He just told the broker He can’t sell it, He literally surprised himself, He know the reasons but when the words came out of his mouth it felt like someone else was saying them.

Is there a 12 step for the sailing addicted? Am I asking fellow afflicted?
He has quit a great many things but this “sailing” thing it has his soul.
Is there any hope for him? He can not stop at anytime.

Asking for a friend.

[Knotical]

“I understand your friend’s problem, I grew up in a small town by the lake and saw people harnessing the power of wind in their canvases and saw the boats fly on the water. I promised myself when I come of age I would be one of those people on the water. Once I started sailing I couldn’t let it go, the harder I tried the harder it became to quit. I had family and friends tell me that I won’t be able to give up sailing until I die, and that it is never too late to quit. My wife believes that I spend more time with my mistress and my marriage is falling apart. I’ve tried to quit so many times but I just couldn’t let it go. I’m happy to have found the company of others who are in the same boat.With your assistance and support, I believe I will be successful someday. My name is Bob, and I am a sailor.”

����

[letsgetsailing3]

Originally Posted by Kd9truck

Hi CF members, I think My friend may have a sailing problem, He listed his boat in Nov and just received a full asking price offer, and a high one at that, and He just told the broker He can’t sell it, He literally surprised himself, He know the reasons but when the words came out of his mouth it felt like someone else was saying them.

Is there a 12 step for the sailing addicted? Am I asking fellow afflicted?
He has quit a great many things but this “sailing” thing it has his soul.
Is there any hope for him? He can not stop at anytime.

Asking for a friend.

I believe they're called...


... "sailors".

[Chotu]

I have just the cure. Have him come down to Florida to meet me. I have some boat projects he can work on.

Seems to be curing me of my sailing problem. Ha ha

[MJH]

Originally Posted by Kd9truck

Hi CF members, I think My friend may have a sailing problem, He listed his boat in Nov and just received a full asking price offer, and a high one at that, and He just told the broker He can’t sell it, He literally surprised himself, He know the reasons but when the words came out of his mouth it felt like someone else was saying them.

Is there a 12 step for the sailing addicted? Am I asking fellow afflicted?
He has quit a great many things but this “sailing” thing it has his soul.
Is there any hope for him? He can not stop at anytime.

Asking for a friend.

It's called "Love", and there is no argruing with it.

[ozdigennaro]

It's hopeless. Give up and go sailing.

[Ween]

The meaning of life and the answer to all things...sailing.

Or 42.

Or in my case both, sailing a 42.

Your friend needs to concede. Resistance is futile.

[Kd9truck]

Originally Posted by Chotu

I have just the cure. Have him come down to Florida to meet me. I have some boat projects he can work on.

Seems to be curing me of my sailing problem. Ha ha

I just spoke with him, he says he only likes working on his boat, and that he is actually allergic to working on others, but has countless quips about what others are doing wrong, and what I (I mean he) believes is the best way to fix them.

[subdude]

The first step is admitting he has a problem. Won’t happen.

[GafferMate]

Delightful as this somewhat tongue-in-cheek exchange is, for those of us (me) who are fast approaching old age on a boat that has provided a meaningful life and a beautiful home for decades (3 shy of 5) the reality of having to sell her is a very difficult and lonely issue to grapple with.


Anyone else in a similar situation who has already dealt with the this issue, please chime in? I'd be grateful.

[Wmkenney]

I get it, I have the bug too. I'm newish to sailing, like 6 years. All I think about is sailing, can't live without a sailboat, even if it sits on a trailer in the yard. All I read about, anything I watch on TV etc. Drives my wife crazy. Wish I could pack a small carry bag and go, anywhere, love the ocean, open spaces, the waves, beach, sunrise, sunset, stars, moon light....the list goes on
When my kids were small, they'd ask where mom and I met, we always told them we were pirates, met on the sea....someday I'd love to be crew for someone, 25yrs as a mechanic, can fix nearly anything that burns fuel, wink wink

[MickWay]

Its not just sailing, even though I have a yacht, getting on the water in any form of vessel is a fix for me.

[Kd9truck]

Originally Posted by GafferMate

Delightful as this somewhat tongue-in-cheek exchange is, for those of us (me) who are fast approaching old age on a boat that has provided a meaningful life and a beautiful home for decades (3 shy of 5) the reality of having to sell her is a very difficult and lonely issue to grapple with.


Anyone else in a similar situation who has already dealt with the this issue, please chime in? I'd be grateful.

When My father passed away his little 23ft O’DAY POP-TOP had accrued quite a long list of fees that he could not pay, he told no one, he was a prideful man. Unfortunately it made the vessel untouchable financially.
If you are going to ride that wave to the beach because you can’t sell your vessel due to emotion. Make sure you are up on the associated fees, leave the tittle and boat Docs in vessel or with its next recipient.
Leaving her with family with no clear plan can create complications to deal with at a difficult time, ….not preaching but….don’t do that. If you need the money sell it. As I have told my Dad “the boat is just a boat it is you that gives it life, the boats soul lives in your mind, without you it’s just another inanimate object.”

[JPA Cate]

We know many people who struggle with this. Some have said, and the kids won't like it, but, do they think raising them was entirely hassle-free joy? too bad if it's a hassle for their adult children.

My hope with this is to sort of "taper off". Find somewhere shore based to live. Marina for boat. Find fun things to do on land, and continue to use boat till it becomes a burden. Then sell ASAP. Yes, it is hard, but to turn over stewardship of the boat when it is just too hard at haulout time, or just more money than one wants to spend any more for something you're not using, it is a little past the ideal time. But sometimes we're slow to turn loose of our dreams and habits, and we're only human.

One of our friends taught us this stewardship idea, and I think it is useful to take on board. It really allows for seeking out potential new stewards well in advance of the time you want them to take over, in the way one might seek out an apprentice to take over when one was gone.

Friends who have done this successfully mostly have hung onto their boats till they become a burden, and who build a satisfying life ashore for themselves, but the other way that works that we have seen is with people who want to do more than just sail after a point in their lives, and who bite the bullet and sell. Like the heroin addict who decides to change his/her diet, accept the Jones, and make a life change.

This is a more European picture of addiction than is common in the US. The twelve step programs really work-- but I think there are none for sailors-- and they are not the only way.

I think it would be great to let this thread become a discussion of the difficulties of letting go. Jim and I are house sitting for the winter. We put the boat on a mooring. When it is cold, or rainy, we are way less enthusiastic about going out to the boat. Also, the boat is way more convenient in some ways. However, the water view from the housesit is lovely; it is well-insulated, though expensive to heat; no dinghy trips in the rain and cold because there's errands we have to run. Exercising, essential for better health, is more easily accomplished land based. Just saying there are some upsides of living ashore, especially when one of you is not in very good physical nick, and it's harder to be eco-friendly than on the boat. For us, the over 80 years have involved a lot more doctor visits. Visiting with cruisers on the way ashore is more fun.

Ann

[GafferMate]

[QUOTE=GafferMate;3633198]Delightful as this somewhat tongue-in-cheek exchange is, for those of us (me) who are fast approaching old age on a boat that has provided a meaningful life and a beautiful home for decades (3 shy of 5)


OOPS--correction: that's three YEARS shy of five decades; 47 years from a bare hull to this moment still living aboard this one boat; now with obvious rapid mental deterioration before public eyes.