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Old 12-06-2022, 05:47   #46
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Re: I think My friend may have a sailing problem.

Whenever I step on a boat, mine or others, I kinda just " plug in".
It takes me but a second for me to familiarize where everything is.
My entire body immediately attunes to the rocking and rolling motion of a boat, it's a comforting and nurturing feeling unlike standing on rock steady land.
I don't think about it.
On other people's boats, nobody ever asks me to do anything, as I will sense a need and do it myself.
Over the years, I've come across several "old salts" like me, that act and behave in much the same way.

I talk to the boat and the boat talks back to me
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Old 12-06-2022, 07:33   #47
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Re: I think My friend may have a sailing problem.

Allow me to summarize, "Quitting is for losers".
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Old 12-06-2022, 15:31   #48
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Re: I think My friend may have a sailing problem.

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Allow me to summarize, "Quitting is for losers".
Indeed! We are neighbors it seems, Iíll see you on the sound, my main has a Jeanneau star and numbers 933. Fairwinds
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Old 12-06-2022, 19:23   #49
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Re: I think My friend may have a sailing problem.

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Originally Posted by Celestialsailor View Post
I use to have a little framed saying hanging in my boat that i came up with...


"As long as my little ship holds the mirror, I will always be a young man sailing her".
Great quote.

I dreamed of the liveaboard life for so long.
Now Iím more likely to be ďa pirate looks at 60Ē before I get started.

But those here who are 60, 70, 80 give me great hope that it will never be too late to start.
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Old 12-06-2022, 19:55   #50
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Re: I think My friend may have a sailing problem.

....Getting used to sailing at 60 is different from getting used to it at 40. You'll lose 40 yrs. worth of experience in dealing with what the sailing life brings, and it really informs how you do things in your 80's, if the motivation to stay with it strikes you. It's just my opinion, though based on many years of living on the hook, but I'd say that motivation is way more likely to hold if you start at 40.

Ann
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Old 12-06-2022, 20:40   #51
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Re: I think My friend may have a sailing problem.

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Originally Posted by Messing About View Post
Great quote.

I dreamed of the liveaboard life for so long.
Now Iím more likely to be ďa pirate looks at 60Ē before I get started.

But those here who are 60, 70, 80 give me great hope that it will never be too late to start.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
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Old 13-06-2022, 04:53   #52
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Re: I think My friend may have a sailing problem.

"the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak" is the conundrum facing someone in their 60's wanting to embark on the sailing life...

can be done off course, might just take an extra grunt or two to raise the anchor, etc
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Old 13-06-2022, 06:47   #53
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Re: I think My friend may have a sailing problem.

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Originally Posted by MicHughV View Post

can be done off course, might just take an extra grunt or two to raise the anchor, etc
Yes, that up and down switch on the deck is a tuffy.
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Old 16-06-2022, 01:58   #54
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Re: I think My friend may have a sailing problem.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Messing About View Post
Great quote.

I dreamed of the liveaboard life for so long.
Now I’m more likely to be “a pirate looks at 60” before I get started.

But those here who are 60, 70, 80 give me great hope that it will never be too late to start.

My husband was fifty when he finally began building the boat he'd dreamed of sailing to the Solomon Islands, where he'd been a Marine during WWII.



He was sixty-five when we cast off the docklines to begin our cruising life. He was a fit man, a determined stoic handling all sail changes and raising anchor with manual windlass by himself, but by the time we dropped anchor in Rikitea, Gambiers, three years later, he seriously wanted to 'return home'. Passages were getting hard for him.



A compromise was made by sailing up to Hawaii from Bora Bora. That involved the wreck of ORACLE on Caroline Island and another hard passage but the eleven-month hiatus coupled with the Voyaging Canoes tied next to us in Hilo re-inspired his desire to reach the Solomons...Australia...Palau, Peleliu...other islands he'd fought on.



When we reached the Philippines, 1999, he was 73 (my age, now) with the intention to sell PILAR. We had a buyer and all was set until we suddenly realized we couldn't. Not wanting to cruise any more didn't mean we no longer wanted to live on her--we loved our home and everything about boats and our life afloat except making passages.



My experience is this: I was the one that loved the sailing, making passages, but I was 22 years younger than Bill. It was only when I entered my sixties that it suddenly became clear what it had been like for him! The difference aging makes--even if still fit--is very real; the seventies are like being on the inside of Alice's Looking Glass.


Which brings me back to the inevitable reality of aging and how to navigate the unhappy, impossible-to-imagine letting go of a beloved boat BEFORE it becomes too late for finding a compensating answer to boat and owner, both.


I'm thinking of signing PILAR up on a dating site: "Buxom sportswoman seeking like-minded partner..."



I am grateful to the posts by others who have already had to deal with letting go. I hope there will be more to read and learn from.
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Old 16-06-2022, 03:10   #55
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Re: I think My friend may have a sailing problem.

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Originally Posted by GafferMate View Post
My husband was fifty when he finally began building the boat he'd dreamed of sailing to the Solomon Islands, where he'd been a Marine during WWII.

He was sixty-five when we cast off the docklines to begin our cruising life. He was a fit man, a determined stoic handling all sail changes and raising anchor with manual windlass by himself, but by the time we dropped anchor in Rikitea, Gambiers, three years later, he seriously wanted to 'return home'. Passages were getting hard for him.

A compromise was made by sailing up to Hawaii from Bora Bora. That involved the wreck of ORACLE on Caroline Island and another hard passage but the eleven-month hiatus coupled with the Voyaging Canoes tied next to us in Hilo re-inspired his desire to reach the Solomons...Australia...Palau, Peleliu...other islands he'd fought on.

I am grateful to the posts by others who have already had to deal with letting go. I hope there will be more to read and learn from.

What a wonderful story your life and travels must be. I would love to read more. His perspective of returning to island paradises that once were his battlefields must have been captivating. Thank you for this input. Is there more we could read of your travels together?
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Old 16-06-2022, 07:26   #56
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Re: I think My friend may have a sailing problem.

Quote:
Originally Posted by GafferMate View Post
My husband was fifty when he finally began building the boat he'd dreamed of sailing to the Solomon Islands, where he'd been a Marine during WWII.



He was sixty-five when we cast off the docklines to begin our cruising life. He was a fit man, a determined stoic handling all sail changes and raising anchor with manual windlass by himself, but by the time we dropped anchor in Rikitea, Gambiers, three years later, he seriously wanted to 'return home'. Passages were getting hard for him.



A compromise was made by sailing up to Hawaii from Bora Bora. That involved the wreck of ORACLE on Caroline Island and another hard passage but the eleven-month hiatus coupled with the Voyaging Canoes tied next to us in Hilo re-inspired his desire to reach the Solomons...Australia...Palau, Peleliu...other islands he'd fought on.



When we reached the Philippines, 1999, he was 73 (my age, now) with the intention to sell PILAR. We had a buyer and all was set until we suddenly realized we couldn't. Not wanting to cruise any more didn't mean we no longer wanted to live on her--we loved our home and everything about boats and our life afloat except making passages.



My experience is this: I was the one that loved the sailing, making passages, but I was 22 years younger than Bill. It was only when I entered my sixties that it suddenly became clear what it had been like for him! The difference aging makes--even if still fit--is very real; the seventies are like being on the inside of Alice's Looking Glass.


Which brings me back to the inevitable reality of aging and how to navigate the unhappy, impossible-to-imagine letting go of a beloved boat BEFORE it becomes too late for finding a compensating answer to boat and owner, both.


I'm thinking of signing PILAR up on a dating site: "Buxom sportswoman seeking like-minded partner..."



I am grateful to the posts by others who have already had to deal with letting go. I hope there will be more to read and learn from.

Buy chance were you and Bill out of Santa Cruz, Ca.?
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Old 18-06-2022, 16:36   #57
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Re: I think My friend may have a sailing problem.

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Buy chance were you and Bill out of Santa Cruz, Ca.?

Sorry late reply--a week of total focus for three days of beach haulout, bamboo poles for support between tides, for anti-fouling--no thought for anything else.


Yes, we left from Santa Cruz...did we know/meet each other from there or somewhere else? We were two years in Baja, 1992-1994
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Old 18-06-2022, 17:03   #58
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Re: I think My friend may have a sailing problem.

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What a wonderful story your life and travels must be. I would love to read more. His perspective of returning to island paradises that once were his battlefields must have been captivating. Thank you for this input. Is there more we could read of your travels together?

You are very generous, thank you for your appreciation. Yes, the returning experiences were powerful, fraught with conflicting emotions--Peleliu, the most difficult to face. He knew his fears of dying there were crazy if he returned, but that's how he felt. Lots of knowingly irrational feelings (he wouldn't let me collect clams for his favorite Spaghetti Vongole because that beach had been covered with so much blood) but ultimately, returning was healing.


As to writing about our experiences for others to read, most everything is still in my journals, but thank you for asking.


Yesterday I was inspired by a phrase within a poem by Rumi: "Let the beauty we love be what we do..."If living life afloat gives you a sense of beauty you love, I hope you can do it sooner rather than later, even if not fully 'ready'. When we left Santa Cruz (miraculously, '16 years, 16 days, @ 1600hrs after receiving PILAR's bare hull) we STILL weren't ready! We weren't fully rigged, had minuscule sailing experience with our boat, but Bill suddenly realized it was NOW or Never for him.



I wish you the best of everything for you and your dream of sailing.
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Old 18-06-2022, 21:22   #59
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Re: I think My friend may have a sailing problem.

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Sorry late reply--a week of total focus for three days of beach haulout, bamboo poles for support between tides, for anti-fouling--no thought for anything else.


Yes, we left from Santa Cruz...did we know/meet each other from there or somewhere else? We were two years in Baja, 1992-1994

I was in Santa Cruz from 1978 to 2002. I was friends with Chuck and Shirley Cannon. And I'm sure you remember Joseph Rogers too. I was so impressed with Pilar, I promised myself I would one day own an Ingrid 38 which I did. It was a 1977 I bought up on Bainbridge Island. I have had many boats and just enjoy messing around with them. I would read about you guys in Latitude 38 once in awhile. I'm glad Pilar is still in your loving hands. ...Martin
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Old 19-06-2022, 00:26   #60
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Re: I think My friend may have a sailing problem.

Celestialsailor - such a welcome, greatly appreciated reply! I've just sent a private message to you so we don't hijack the thread.
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