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Old 02-06-2022, 18:27   #16
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Re: I think My friend may have a sailing problem.

to Ann & Kd9truk - only time to thank you for your replies. Want to think and then reply thoughtfully to both when not scatter-brained under pressure.
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Old 02-06-2022, 18:58   #17
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Re: I think My friend may have a sailing problem.

I grew up on the water. WTF else is there to do? Mow the lawn? Go bowling? Sit and watch kids play soccer?

All winter we work on boat projects and dream of summer on the boat. In summer we’re on the boat. NO family cookouts, NO kiddie parties, NO weddings. “They” have seven months for that crap. Summers are mine.

Without a boat there is nothing to look forward to, no reason to live.

Ps don’t blame me, the apple didn’t fall far from the tree.
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Old 02-06-2022, 19:20   #18
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Re: I think My friend may have a sailing problem.

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Originally Posted by JPA Cate View Post
We know many people who struggle with this. Some have said, and the kids won't like it, but, do they think raising them was entirely hassle-free joy? too bad if it's a hassle for their adult children.

My hope with this is to sort of "taper off". Find somewhere shore based to live. Marina for boat. Find fun things to do on land, and continue to use boat till it becomes a burden. Then sell ASAP. Yes, it is hard, but to turn over stewardship of the boat when it is just too hard at haulout time, or just more money than one wants to spend any more for something you're not using, it is a little past the ideal time. But sometimes we're slow to turn loose of our dreams and habits, and we're only human.

One of our friends taught us this stewardship idea, and I think it is useful to take on board. It really allows for seeking out potential new stewards well in advance of the time you want them to take over, in the way one might seek out an apprentice to take over when one was gone.

Friends who have done this successfully mostly have hung onto their boats till they become a burden, and who build a satisfying life ashore for themselves, but the other way that works that we have seen is with people who want to do more than just sail after a point in their lives, and who bite the bullet and sell. Like the heroin addict who decides to change his/her diet, accept the Jones, and make a life change.

This is a more European picture of addiction than is common in the US. The twelve step programs really work-- but I think there are none for sailors-- and they are not the only way.

I think it would be great to let this thread become a discussion of the difficulties of letting go. Jim and I are house sitting for the winter. We put the boat on a mooring. When it is cold, or rainy, we are way less enthusiastic about going out to the boat. Also, the boat is way more convenient in some ways. However, the water view from the housesit is lovely; it is well-insulated, though expensive to heat; no dinghy trips in the rain and cold because there's errands we have to run. Exercising, essential for better health, is more easily accomplished land based. Just saying there are some upsides of living ashore, especially when one of you is not in very good physical nick, and it's harder to be eco-friendly than on the boat. For us, the over 80 years have involved a lot more doctor visits. Visiting with cruisers on the way ashore is more fun.

Ann
Yes Ann, on all of what you said, thank you, my love for my family is what keeps me land based most of time, and there are a great many benefits to being close to some of the best health care in the world, and much easier to stay fit ashore.
I have let go of a great many things, alcohol, my hair , my aspirations of cruising full time because of personal Heath l issues and with family members. Occupational status.
I’ve got a plan for the next 5 years for the vessel, and back ups because nothing ever goes as plan.
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Old 02-06-2022, 22:37   #19
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Re: I think My friend may have a sailing problem.

All I can say is...I am on my third wife...
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Old 02-06-2022, 22:56   #20
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Re: I think My friend may have a sailing problem.

I was just thinking about this and my situation. I have been with my boat in the Med for about six weeks so far. Big problems are happening back home and I am at total peace and have no desire to rush home and do the things I really need to be doing. The boat, sea and the life are total bliss for me and almost like I imagine a drug it has be so intoxicated that I don't really care that much and will solve the issues from here. If i can get my mind fixed on the realities of back home that is. I have found my serenity and happiness living my dream! I wouldn't be able to sell my boat either, I don't think, too much emotion tied up in it.
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Old 02-06-2022, 23:03   #21
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Re: I think My friend may have a sailing problem.

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Old 02-06-2022, 23:42   #22
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Re: I think My friend may have a sailing problem.

I am soooo glad to find out that I am not alone! I promised family and friends that I would sell the boat and move back to Nevada by June 1st, 2022. I couldn't do it. Rented the house out for another year-will probably go through the same gut wrenching decision a year from now! Am in a Beneteau 42 "doghouse"!
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Old 03-06-2022, 00:08   #23
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Re: I think My friend may have a sailing problem.

[QUOTE=Kd9truck“the boat is just a boat it is you that gives it life, the boats soul lives in your mind, without you it’s just another inanimate object.”[/QUOTE]

I think you've actually got this the wrong way round. For many years I had a 30ft classic timber boat. She was 40 yrs old when I bought her, now she's 70+. She was in much better health when I sold her than when I bought her. Now I have a steel boat also improved.

I look on myself as the temporary custodian of these boats. They will both be around long after I have started pushing up the daisies, hopefully giving many others as much enjoyment as they gave me.

Inanimate objects do corrode away but it can be a much longer process than our span. One could argue that they have been of more benefit, significance, to civilisation (for want of a more appropriate word) than I have.................
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Old 03-06-2022, 04:41   #24
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Re: I think My friend may have a sailing problem.

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Originally Posted by Rayjay3110 View Post
I am soooo glad to find out that I am not alone! I promised family and friends that I would sell the boat and move back to Nevada by June 1st, 2022. I couldn't do it. Rented the house out for another year-will probably go through the same gut wrenching decision a year from now! Am in a Beneteau 42 "doghouse"!
Welcome Rayjay, I too am glad to know I am not alone, We may be related, I am in a Jeanneau 44i summer cabana.
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Old 03-06-2022, 04:50   #25
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Re: I think My friend may have a sailing problem.

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I think you've actually got this the wrong way round. For many years I had a 30ft classic timber boat. She was 40 yrs old when I bought her, now she's 70+. She was in much better health when I sold her than when I bought her. Now I have a steel boat also improved.

I look on myself as the temporary custodian of these boats. They will both be around long after I have started pushing up the daisies, hopefully giving many others as much enjoyment as they gave me.

Inanimate objects do corrode away but it can be a much longer process than our span. One could argue that they have been of more benefit, significance, to civilisation (for want of a more appropriate word) than I have.................
I am certainly not without fault mate you’ve got that right, I offer, It is your attention that has animated the timber and steel, and you both have made the world better for others to be able to enjoy the fruits of your labor. Thank you
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Old 03-06-2022, 04:56   #26
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Re: I think My friend may have a sailing problem.

I have refused to sell boats, at high asking price, when I just couldn't bear to see a beloved boat go to some Bozo whom I did not think knew enough to properly care for her.
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Old 03-06-2022, 06:39   #27
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Re: I think My friend may have a sailing problem.

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I have refused to sell boats, at high asking price, when I just couldn't bear to see a beloved boat go to some Bozo whom I did not think knew enough to properly care for her.
I sold my Hallberg Rassy in Mexico to avoid the Baja Bash back up to Northern Ca. The buyer was a total basket case of an individual. The deal was hell. During the process, I actually kicked him and his Entourage off the boat and cancelled the deal. It was the broker who convinced me to go through with it.
A few years later a cruising friend of mine saw the boat in an anchorage and talked to the individual that bought her and told him he had just sailed to Mexico from Hawaii on the boat. He hadn't sailed the boat 100 miles in reality!
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Old 03-06-2022, 06:41   #28
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Re: I think My friend may have a sailing problem.

I use to have a little framed saying hanging in my boat that i came up with...


"As long as my little ship holds the mirror, I will always be a young man sailing her".
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Old 03-06-2022, 08:30   #29
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Re: I think My friend may have a sailing problem.

Still waiting for you to mention the problem. All you keep telling us about is the good stuff.
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Old 03-06-2022, 08:39   #30
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Re: I think My friend may have a sailing problem.

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Still waiting for you to mention the problem. All you keep telling us about is the good stuff.
If the story is true it is with the broker he will have a problem.
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