How to Explain to a Woman what Liveaboard Means ?

[Khagan1227]

Originally Posted by Don1500

That's like my late wife. When I said I wanted a motorcycle she said she did, too. She never drove one before but we crossed the US within 2 years. Also when I said the Dyna glide would do, she said get the Ultra!

Maybe you could talk to my wife about a motorcycle for us, I'm getting no where...

[Greggegner]

I like the idea of chartering and let her see. But most important is your wishes for her. We are committed to sailing, but I still alter my plans to ensure her happiness. For a couple to succeed each must value the other's needs. A balance will occur then...sometimes you lean toward your needs, sometime her needs. Both must compromise...

[WarmBreeze]

Originally Posted by Greggegner

We are committed to sailing, but I still alter my plans to ensure her happiness. For a couple to succeed each must value the other's needs. A balance will occur then...sometimes you lean toward your needs, sometime her needs. Both must compromise...

Best thing said yet! I am still waiting to have this in my life. A sailor who can also commit to my needs as well as his own.

[virginia boy]

Much of this topic centers around trying to convince, beguile, or manipulate a woman into following the cruising life. I guess I'm just a pig, but when my fiance asked me "what if decided I didn't want live on a boat" I told her that I would miss her terribly. Needless to say, the conversation took a turn for the worse after that. Does that mean I don't love her? No, it simply means that chasing this dream means more to me than our relationship. Does that make me a bad guy?

The thought of living in a condo in the suburbs of Wash DC for the rest of my life makes me depressed. It feels like a slow death to me.

[WarmBreeze]

Nope, Virginia boy, it does not make you a bad guy at all. That just means that, hopefully, you are with a woman who understands that is your dream and will support it. Then she has the choice to be there should you return or what have you.

I love being out on the water. I have even pondered the idea of living aboard with the other people in my life for a year or two. While the idea of this is appealing I have to think of the reality that I have two young children that enjoy their life on land with their friends etc. as much as they like going out on the water etc. Maybe when I am older and my kids have fled the nest I may feel very compelled to take off and sail the seas. But for now...My ever moving life is best divided between the two and finding balance and compromise. That is suppose to be with all relationships.

Question for all...Flip the places of the people. If "she" asked you to up and move to another country entirely to spend the rest of your life with her...would/would have you do that for her or let her go? Always consider the alternatives.

[Dakota450]

Originally Posted by virginia boy

The thought of living in a condo in the suburbs of Wash DC for the rest of my life makes me depressed. It feels like a slow death to me.

This is similar to my feeling. I have a wife of 26 years with children that are almost grown. I am pretty active. My wife not so much. It has never been too much of a problem while we have had kids in the house. She had them to take care of and I had a business to run. Now that they are getting close to all being gone, I see a huge problem developing. I want to get some hobby's/activities that we can do together. Everything I propose gets shot down. I'm not sure living on a boat is really what I want but it is something. Raising children and being responsible for other people for the better part of 25 years has taken its toll on me. I am ready for my time, and her's of course. The problem is that she doesn't want to do anything. Watching Oprah re-runs, soap opera's and going to the gym for 2 hours 3 days a week like she does right now is going to take away all my drive if that's our chosen path. I love the woman deeply but this has really got me concerned.

[category4jay]

Don1500 (and Dakota450),
I started this thread awhile back. You should check it out. There's some great advice and suggestions in it on your situation. My advice (for what its worth : make absolutely 100% sure she is on the same page (on board) as you are regarding boats before you marry the woman. Trust me on that. If shes not one or both of you will eventually be dissapointed.

http://www.cruisersforum.com/forums/...ife-38641.html

Good Luck.

[WarmBreeze]

Originally Posted by Khagan1227

Maybe you could talk to my wife about a motorcycle for us, I'm getting no where...

I asked for a Harley for my 40th. Reminded the other that he got his 44 foot Peterson a few years back....Needless to say I still have yet to get my bike. I am holding out for it for my 45th then.

[Me-and-Boo]

Originally Posted by Sun Goddezz

I asked for a Harley for my 40th. Reminded the other that he got his 44 foot Peterson a few years back....Needless to say I still have yet to get my bike. I am holding out for it for my 45th then.

Take his c card, a birthday card signed "From your Very Secret Love" and a bow down to the Harley dealer. Buy a real nice bike, put the bow on it and ride home to show him the bike and card.

[Alaska JD]

Originally Posted by Don1500

That is my opinion.
Here I am, after talking to my wife, (she's on the mantle), I have come to the conclusion that I don't really want any ties to land, who ever they are.

My problem now is how to dump her without hurting her. The real problem is the other woman, the dancer in Beverly Hills and the sailor in Mobile. What about them? Kathy is here, I can deal with it. But Sonjia and Kim are the real problem.

The Irish colleen in Cape May is fine for a night or two and she might even sail for a week or two. Life is a bitch.

Lots going on Don - and it looks like you already know your answer. Stuck between the past and the future and flirting with loneliness is a sucky place to be. As was previously posted, when it's time to pick a partner, posting on this forum won't even cross your mind - best of luck brother.

[Don1500]

Well, we've talked about it and she wants me to pull the house from the market. I'm having breakfast with her tomorrow and will break the news then, the house is staying on the market. Just as she can not fathom (bit of a nautical term there) the idea of sailing, I can't do the opposite.

[Don1500]

Originally Posted by Sun Goddezz

I asked for a Harley for my 40th. Reminded the other that he got his 44 foot Peterson a few years back....Needless to say I still have yet to get my bike. I am holding out for it for my 45th then.

Go buy it yourself. That's what my wife did. She did tell me first of course. But when she told me I knew there was really no way to say "No". And I didn't want to say "no" anyway.

[Dennis.G]

Originally Posted by senormechanico

Tell her an ocean crossing in a storm is like being in jail and an earthquake at the same time.

An approach guaranteed to keep you a single man.

[Dennis.G]

Originally Posted by Don1500

...she wants me to pull the house from the market.

Bummer

My advice: Get on match.com and setup a profile that explains what your goals and plans are, and that you are looking for a woman that can buy into that life style. You will likely get lots of replys, and you will have already have gotten the subject exposed up-front.

[Don1500]

Originally Posted by Dennis.G

Bummer

My advice: Get on match.com and setup a profile that explains what your goals and plans are, and that you are looking for a woman that can buy into that life style. You will likely get lots of replys, and you will have already have gotten the subject exposed up-front.

That's how I got into this mess to begin with.

I was VERY up front about it, she knew it and now I find that she thought she could "Fix" me.

I believe now that if I want a water angel, I need to be on the water. I will not get involved again until then.