Flaming Potential Friends

[sww914]

I don't flame anyone much anymore. I used to, I even won some flame wars, it's still lame even if you win.
I've met several of you in person. I really like all of you that I've met and I consider each of you my friends. One of you has flamed me before we met. I refused to reply and let it die. I'm glad I did, we're really solid friends now in 3D.
Some of you, my friends, flame each other. Most of you will meet in real life this year or next. Please, people, keep this in mind before you threaten to kill each other's pets over an argument about day shapes, my friends.
Having real friends is so much more valuable than being a victorious internet troll.

[ozskipper]

Nicely said!! But ultimately Godwins Rule fixes everything.

Godwin's Law of internet arguments - YouTube

[denverd0n]

You only made one mistake, when you said...

Originally Posted by sww914

I even won some flame wars...

Nobody ever "wins" a flame war. Everyone involved in them ends up looking stupid. Usually the person who THINKS that they "won" is the one who ends up looking the stupidest.

In any case, good advice.

[Tim R.]

I am a member on a non sailing/boating message board that had anonymous rep enabled. Some of the things people would say under the guise of anonymity were pretty nasty. One day the moderators disabled the feature but all the neg reps remained, only now you could see who posted the comments. I must say there were some new and interesting threads that began that day.

[boatman61]

Okay... show my ignorance... What's a Flame War..?
If you mean where one speaks one's mind then I do indulge.. not because I want to win.. more because I wish to put my point across which is usually.. 'It works for me'...
Regarding friends on here or even in real life.. if you cannot accept who/what I am that's your problem not mine... but be aware.. I've a strange sense of humour and my posts are without malice.. even tho' they may seem somewhat barbed to the more sensitive soul..
The old hands here are used to me.. the new... well its their choice
Merry Christmas all...

PS: Zero Anominity...

[Cheechako]

Speakng one's mind is not a flame war, insisting only your opinion is valid and calling the other person an idiot is. That's as close as I can come. I try my best to just say what I think and go away anymore. Just not interested in even interacting with those that think their course of action is the only one. One thing I've learned over the years; my opinion changes continually! If it doesnt; you're not learning!
BTW: Great thread Steve.!

[denverd0n]

Originally Posted by Cheechako

One thing I've learned over the years; my opinion changes continually! If it doesnt; you're not learning!

Well put, and so true.

And I agree that stating your opinion forcefully, bluntly, even brutally, is not a "flame war." That's just being honest.

Flame wars are when you see people going back and forth, getting more and more ridiculous, calling each other names, clinging dogmatically to their "I'm right and you're wrong" attitude, and each trying to get the last word (because people who engage in flame wars almost always assume--quite wrongly--that if they get the last word then they "win"). It really is kind of funny to watch a full-blown flame war, though they get boring pretty quickly. It always amazes me how stupid people are willing to be, and to make themselves look, in order to "win" an argument like that.

[jeepbluetj]

I think it's just one of those things that happens online.

Sometimes, folks like a good flame war for the drama it creates, and it's entertainment.

A lot of other times, stuff just doesn't come across the same typed into some forum as it would sitting around a coupla beers. Humor is one of those, particularly sarcasm. Some of can be figured out by reading a board quite a bit. I sure didn't know what to make of a few posters when I first started reading this board, but after a while got to understand it. (Zee as a positive example -- takes reading a few posts to figure out the pirateese, now it's totally cool.)

[Ocean Girl]

Boatman, no, you are not a flamer. Not to burst your bad boy image, you are rather tame and sweet. Sorry
I've definitely been guilty of flaming, but it usually in the form of "shaming" or calling the posters mean. I get a little riled up when someone is zeroed in on and the judgement starts to fly, the protective mama bear comes out in me. So I call the critics mean, doing my best to show the error of their ways, sigh. I've just recently sworn that behavior off, at least trying to. Finding my zen again.

Their behavior shouldn't dictate mine.

[boatman61]

Originally Posted by Ocean Girl

Boatman, no, you are not a flamer. Not to burst your bad boy image, you are rather tame and sweet. Sorry
I've definitely been guilty of flaming, but it usually in the form of "shaming" or calling the posters mean. I get a little riled up when someone is zeroed in on and the judgement starts to fly, the protective mama bear comes out in me. So I call the critics mean, doing my best to show the error of their ways, sigh. I've just recently sworn that behavior off, at least trying to. Finding my zen again.

Their behavior shouldn't dictate mine.

Note to self... 'Must try harder..'

OG.... xx

[sww914]

To flame, you must be petty, mean, insulting, threatening, and childish, IMHO. I'm pretty sure that you're missing that stuff, Boatman. A debate is one thing, a petty bitchfest is another.

[Coops]

Originally Posted by sww914

To flame, you must be petty, mean, insulting, threatening, and childish, IMHO. I'm pretty sure that you're missing that stuff, Boatman. A debate is one thing, a petty bitchfest is another.

Damn, missed out on the threatening.

Coops.

[Chris66]

Never argue with an idiot, they will bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.

[sailorboy1]

you people are all wrong

[Celestialsailor]

I'm not sure if I'm considered a flamer or not. My biggest character defect I think is not letting go when I should. One argument I got into was one of fine thread fasteners vs course thread fasteners. being a Toolmaker/Engineer, I knew I had some valid points and there was way more to the use of each than was meeting peoples eyes. I really tried and tried to reenforce my position to the point where I was being called names.
Another one was the use of epoxy vs. polyester and was rudely insulted by someone who frequently insults. I don't know why I take it so personally. Just the way I am, I guess
Interestingly I belong to an automotive forum of a certain type of vehicle. No one there insults...ever. So I wonder why we do sometimes. I know I can be intolerant sometimes of people who are not cruisers or do not have boats yet talk from authority. Being out cruising now I realize that I don't have as much time for this forum as I once did.
...And you're right Steve...once you meet some of these people, they're quite nice. You were one of the first I met and I hope we do again. There have been 5 others, this year alone I have met while voyaging. A funny story is...one of our members got into it with me when I told him that I felt he was being negative with his comments. Of course, he flamed me with something like he had rowed more miles that I sailed. For all I know that may have been true but the funny thing is where I am now, he's 2 boats a way from me. I knew his boat type, size and where he was from. The give away was his wireless name was his forum name! We greet each other everyday with niceties. This proves that the way we talk to each other on the net, we most likely would never say face to face.