Female Sailor's Request for ABSOLUTE IMMUNITY

[Yachtmops]

Janet H & Darby,

Love your 'spirit' girls.... ' is there a ladies nite out on CF '

What ? my pm box isn't set up, damn, I knew there was a reason I wasn't getting flooded with marriage proposals

Funny thing is, I don't even own a ' mop ', ( true)

[perchance]

Originally Posted by Hud3

I have a rule that saves me a lot of heartburn--never argue with a Dutchman. They're like bulldogs. They never give up.

p.s. not referring to any particular CF members, just making a statement from my experience over the years.

You can always tell a Dutchman but you can't tell him much.

[sailorboy1]

So a women walks into the yacht club bar wearing a pirate eye-patch, towing behind her an anchor, a gun, a catamaran, a wind generator, and a Hunter sailboat. The bar keep looks at her and says "Why you must .........................."

[justwaiting]

Reading this thread i am left with the impression that there are a significant number of posters pushing the whole "man up", "if you want to play in our sand pit, play by our rules" and some pushing the "you will be accepted if we dont know that you are a woman" line. In truth it is the posts that grate that i remember not that it matters. BTW sexism, just like every other "ism can be overt or convert .....

What is important is that (as pointed out) many people lurk and dont join in. The strength of CF is those who do contribute, and very few dont have some thing to contribute. Question that generate discussion are every bit as valuable as the answers that they bring out.

Some, prehaps many do may not like the Willows post, but i would sugest that they look past the words to what may be behind them. There is an old business saying that "the best customers are not those who tell you what they like about your business but those who tell you what they dont like".

If people are interested in seeing CF grow they need to remember that the only constant in the world is that there will be change. CF states that it is a worldwide ..... I would strongly sugest that many outsiders see CF as being predomanantly a boys club for male anglo-saxon baby boomers. The reality is better than that but perceptions are more important than facts in bring people in to the fold.

yea, by the way i am male just to try and save the confusion caused by a gender netural name

[courageous cat]

yea, by the way i am male just to try and save the confusion caused by a gender netural name
__________________
guys guys, another gal tring to sneak in as a guy

[Cruising Couple]

Originally Posted by courageous cat

guys guys, another gal tring to sneak in as a guy

LMAO .... a wolf in sheep's clothing?

You guys really are too funny!

Darby

BTW ... with names like Falco and Darby -- No one ever knows which of us is the husband/male (Falco) or the wife/female (Darby). We get the funniest mail in the world. However, it is convenient when one of us calls "the credit card company," becase when I say I'm Falco or my husband says he's Darby -- no one ever puts up an argument.

[rgscpat]

Welcome, 'Mops!

To me, it's actually an okay thing when people who don't have much to say don't say it, but rather keep on lurking. After all, they are balanced out by the rare individuals who are happy to say what they don't know or what they don't know that they don't know, or even about the things that they may never know.... grin. Of course, it's hard to catch up with this very active thread, which just maybe touched a few nerves.

In our family we are mostly inland sailors, dabbling in this and that.

Perhaps a distinction should be made between cruisers, who are not so much impacted by gender issues, and the larger marine industry, which is more of a testosterone-ish field.

And, little smiley faces and other emoticons are a weak substitute for tone of voice, nudges and winks, and the ability to alter what we're saying when we're conversing face-to-face and see the first glimmer of a look of puzzlement, anger, amusement, or whatever. Throw in the differences that people have already mentioned, such as cultural and generational differences, and the fact that people aren't always on good behavior, and things can get chaotic. But it still beats a good day at the office.

Good luck with your recovery,
Pat

[Eleven]

Sounds like we men are being hung for assuming all females are novices and for offering too much help too often.
As a newbie myself I was allowed to make mistakes and occasionally offered advice, particularly on approaching pontoons faster to maintain way. (They didn't know my reverse gear wasn't reliable and I was a complete newbie).
I will still walk along to assist any arriving boat, but have learnt to stand back, to hand but not interfering. I don't like seeing the only sailor at the helm when girlies and ladies are expected to leap over trip wires (guard rails) and drop five feet onto a slippery pontoon. I'd rather take their line and assist the 'helm' to bring his boat to a safe and stationary stop. That first line ashore is so valuable.

[IslandHopper]

Originally Posted by Shrew

13 posts and 7 of them are related to gender. I read the non-gender related posts as well. So, who is actually making a big deal out of this? Look at my UserName. Most people assume this is a 'Taming of the Shrew' reference. However, it's not. Whether I'm a male or female is irrelevant.

I once had an acquitance (now a good friend) say to me; "I don't know if you're aware that I'm gay".

My reply was; "I don't know if you're aware that I neither care, nor is that really relavent to the conversation. And by the way, I have never in my life felt compelled to notify someone that I was heterosexual".

I've never felt the need to preceed a post with "I'm a heterosexual married man who boats with my wife and I'm having a problem with my alternator".

If you don't make a big deal of it nobody else will. I say keep the username you like and post your questions. In turn, try to answer those posted by others when possible, and try to pay it forward when you can.

Originally Posted by Shrew

BTW- the point is..... gender, like sexual orientation really has little to do with sailing and cruising. NOt that I was inferring anything from the post. More of another example of irrelevance. You could just as easily say "I like Blue...and I'm having a problem with my alternator."

......................

[justwaiting]

Originally Posted by courageous cat

yea, by the way i am male just to try and save the confusion caused by a gender netural name
__________________
guys guys, another gal tring to sneak in as a guy

if women looked like me i would be looking for alternatives

[SaucySailoress]

Originally Posted by Ex-Calif

There's women here?

When the hell did that happen? Ever since I quit being a mod this place has run to pot and they'll let anyone in...

Yeah, they'll even let some of us be mods. Thanks for the Captain's hat, BTW... the Captain really likes it!!!

Originally Posted by Yachtmops

Love your 'spirit' girls.... ' is there a ladies nite out on CF '

Look for the Mermaids Group (Cruisers & Sailing Forums - ~~Mermaids Group~~). It's top secret tho... has to be on account of if the men knew about it they'd:
a) want in
b) complain about gender bias

Originally Posted by courageous cat

yea, by the way i am male just to try and save the confusion caused by a gender netural name

Hmm. Yes. Clearly having a gender neutral name is essential part of gaining respect from the old sea salts around here. Not. These old sea salts turn to mush the minute us gals get the whips out... Whereas it seems the minute the boys get out a weapon the fights start. That's why we know women are superior.

Oh yes, nearly forgot... I am supposed to indicate when I am speaking with a light heart...

Originally Posted by Cruising Couple

There is nothing new about men trying to convince women that gender prejudice is non-existent or that they (women) are over reacting.

Over react? Us? Right that's it...

[leftbrainstuff]

Don't let the vocal minority put you off asking questions or contributing advice. The usefullness of this site is increased as more of us participate.

[Katiusha]

Originally Posted by Yachtmops

There are some extremely knowledgeable sailors on this site that I, for one, would like to be able to tap into them as a resource. However, the protracted debate, if not, total alienation of women on this site; prevents me from accessing their knowledge, expertise & life experience.

The diversity of my life experience never made me feel disadvantaged as women until I became a BOAT OWNER, two years ago. I could go on & on about my experience to date on this, but I won’t, because it would just give you an infinite amount of ‘ new material ’, for you ‘ parodies’.

Frankly, I too am known to have a sense of humor & the irony is that when I, a female, posted on the ‘how much does it cost to run a women’, in the same vane & tongue & cheek dialogue, only ONE MAN, ‘ got it ‘. That does speak volumes in my humble opinion.

I have a bit of time on my hands rehabbing it from ACL surgery & boating season is just around the corner. I would like to tap into some of the resources on this site, so, I am requesting ABSOLUTE IMMUNITY.

If, not, & no doubt, that will be apparent quickly, ‘ fair winds ’ & I will go back into my ‘ closet ’ with my Boat Owners Mechanical & Electrical Manual, Seaworthiness, ‘The forgotten Factor’, This Old Boat, Boat Navigation For the Rest of us & then, ‘Hell’ , I might even go sailing………….

Don't lose the sight of why you really are on this forum.

I have always thought that most people are on this forum (and similar) because in the real world we like to feel the wind, hear and smell the water, see the sun, rain, and stars surrounded by vast expanses of water, sail into unknown, feel excitement and then fear of storms. If travel is your thing, then seeing new places, meeting new people, exploring new cultures, helping others, etc. Don't lose the sight of that.

Like every medium of communication, this forum has things/ideas/opinions that do not sit with you. The beauty of cruising mentality is that you just ignore them. When cruising you come across people you like/understand/jive with. You also come across people who you don't want to cross paths with again. So you don't focus on them.

Let it go and think about cruising

[Cruising Couple]

Saucy Sailoress .... you crack me up!



Darby

[David_Old_Jersey]

Originally Posted by Shrew

I've never felt the need to preceed a post with "I'm a heterosexual married man who boats with my wife and I'm having a problem with my alternator".

But probably get a few more responses - on forums sometimes ya gotta lay out some bait .