Dealing with parents disagreement

[Lihuedooley77]

Agree....follow your passion, your life, your dreams. Work at gaining the knowledge and experience to open up the world of sailing, other cultures, many new friends, and fabulous adventures.

My parents wanted me to be mister businessman, work in a cubical, that was not my idea of experiencing life. I never received any encouragement for my personal goals in life. I plotted my own courses.

Those goals were to be a professional pilot, and also sail different areas world wide.
I was a sailing and motor vessel instructor, flotilla leader, charter capt, and also international sailing as well.

I had two concurrent careers that took study, work, testing, checkrides, sea time, and flying hours.

The result following my passions resulted in an amazing, and rewarding life of adventures.

Sailing, U.S.C.G. Merchant marine Capt, ( 100 tons, 500 tons near coastal, sailed Australia, Tahiti, Tonga, Mexico, Calif Coast, the Bahamas, French West Indies, Windwards and Grenadines, Ireland and Greece. About 35 years.

Flying, commercial pilot, flight instructor, charter pilot, corporate pilot, and air combat instructor flying five and six G dogfights. About 36 years, 6500 hrs total time.

Thru both parallel careers I have met many, many great , short and long time friends, nation and world wide, and my very special lady of 36 years now and have shared much of the above with her. Actually, she was one of my sailing students years ago.

So, a many here have suggested, live your life for you, and fulfill those wonderful dreams. It will take work and dedication, and seamanship, but beats the heck out of
the office, suits, ties, and dress shoes. To this day, I own none of those .

It is your future, Life is an adventure, GO FOR IT.!

[Tonali99]

Originally Posted by Andrada_123

Hi everyone!

This is my first post and I'm sorry for my English (it is not my first language).
I wanted to ask all of you how your parents reacted when you wanted to "get out of the system" and start sailing.
My boyfriend and I will buy a boat really soon and move on it. He is now taking the sailing classes (required in out country if you want to sail a boat over 22.9 feet) so he is kinda inexperienced (but learning) and so am I..my mother and grandmother are freaked out.. literally.. and it's a very big scandal over and over again.
I was thinking how other people deal with this problem. How did you make your parents understand ?

Thank you

I see it as a matter of perspective. They don't know what you're doing, and are fearful of it. How would you feel if it was they who were going cruising? A bit aprensive perhaps? 20 years ago the wife and I bought our boat. Sold the house, her car, my truck and my beloved 7 metre. Haven't looked back with any regrets.
We figured since the kids wouldn't run away from home, we would. Enjoyed every minute of it too.

p.s. still on the boat

[Tetepare]

A young couple with child recently purchased a used, good size sailboat.

On the way back into the dock manbun smashed it into a steel piling, and Karen was trying to pull the bow in, either not knowing what a cleat is, or ignoring me. She did not seem happy.

They are learning on the fly. It’s going to be an interesting summer.

[Gerrit Coetzee]

Originally Posted by Andrada_123

Thank you for your answer!
The plan is: moving on the boat, gain experience for 1 or 2 years and then use it as a charter boat. Their concern is more about boating live styleand the hazards that come with it. How will we sleep, eat, work etc. We both work from home and can do it from anywhere, but they keep saying that we will eventually quit our jobs (which we will when the time will be right) and hit rock bottom with all sorts of regrets. I understand that they have life experience, but their life was very different from want I want now: work-home-kids-once a year vacation. I'm not saying is a bad thing but, now, at this moment is not what I want. If you asked me 2 years ago about how I see my life my answer would have been similar to what they lived. But I was introduced to an idea which I know will bring me alot of good experiences.

There will alway be two schools of thought. Initially i leaned towards what the first replies were, because they are correct. Then reading toyr reply.
I tried doing that when I was your age, but live forced me into a different direction. ( whilst doing my skippers licence, my car, passport, Visa, provision were stolen. I could not get my visa reissued and my boating career came to a grinding halt. My live turned out much much more different. It would take me 30 years before setting foot on a sailboat again. Do I regret that my life turned out differently? No.)
You do have a work. You have the money for a boat. It is a short term planned thing. You seem to have it planned it. Would I discourage you to do it? No

[gamayun]

Originally Posted by Mbenjamin

Ha! I wonder if anyone on this post has a Jewish Mother. They are notorious as THE experts on projecting guilt. My wife and I sold everything and moved aboard 3 years and 15,000 nautical miles ago and just last week had to endure another round of “how could you abandon me!” It never ends. As was said above, it’s your life and you only get one shot at it, live it. No regrets.

Ha! Mine was a French Catholic mother who learned guilt from the nuns in a Jesuit boarding school. Not sure which religion holds the torch higher in guilt and angst

[ori]

A smoother path before you sell it all and buy a boat might be to go crew on a small charter to gain experience.
Move to a small apartment near the Marina at a port that had a lot of charter cruises and try to get a job as a crew.
Getting a few years of experience on someone else’s boat will be good for you and might help put your family at ease. This is a less permanent move that will help them digest your decision easier.
Once they see how happy you are I am sure they will be more supportive of your next step whatever that is.

[loneshark64]

Originally Posted by Andrada_123

Hi everyone! .
I was thinking how other people deal with this problem. How did you make your parents understand ?

I have a sailboat, not full time cruiser, my wife doesn’t like sailing and was afraid I would drown myself. But after a few years she has seen all the trainings I have done, all the safety gear and procedures, and that I seem to know what I am doing. At the beginning she was kind of right, there were some touch and go moments and there is always risk. But now she knows. Your family May come around if you show them.

As for my own kids... my daughter wants to live in a van. This scares me to death. She bought a rusted out 20 year old Ford van and is converting it to live-aboard in my driveway. I am doing a lot of the work with her. Will she be cold? What if it breaks down? Where will she park at night? Will people break in? Will the stove cause a fire? I don’t really like her boyfriend. Etc etc etc. So, I understand your parents’ concern. The difference is I don’t say any of this. In a year my daughter’s dream will either work out or it won’t. I hope it works for her. But I will worry!

[JanetGroene]

When my husband and I larked off to live in a 29-footer my parents were highly supportive. They handled our mail and cheered us all the way. It was a wonderful 10 years. However, going off on a small boat as an unmarried couple has its own problems. His boat, his rules, and you have no legal standing. Why not make sure you have a solid relationship in your home country before adding this extra challenge? By the way, your English is very good.

Originally Posted by Andrada_123

Hi everyone!

This is my first post and I'm sorry for my English (it is not my first language).
I wanted to ask all of you how your parents reacted when you wanted to "get out of the system" and start sailing.
My boyfriend and I will buy a boat really soon and move on it. He is now taking the sailing classes (required in out country if you want to sail a boat over 22.9 feet) so he is kinda inexperienced (but learning) and so am I..my mother and grandmother are freaked out.. literally.. and it's a very big scandal over and over again.
I was thinking how other people deal with this problem. How did you make your parents understand ?

Thank you