Dealing with parents disagreement

[StoneCrab]

I'd say, as a parent, not only am I concerned for my children's safety but even more so, concerned about remaining relevant and connected to them moving forward.

If you reassure them with a very specific and well thought out plan for communication and in person visits, I'm sure it will put their minds at ease. Safety will remain a concern buy only your good decision making can address that.

By specific, I mean that perhaps you buy one or several methods of communication, like an Iridium Go or texting device. Cell phone communication is possible almost world wide now. They may not know.

[dannc]

There is has been some great advice.

Reread what Ann said.

Making money while living on a boat is problematic. Very problematic. It can be done, but one has to really research what one can, and can't do, depending on one's location.

Boy friend and girl friend relationships are also problematic, especially with boats and work. However, some have done it successfully. Look up the Emerald Steel couple on YouTube. Married relationships are also problematic with boats and work, but maybe, less so.

Study, read, take boating related classes, both for your sake but also for the parents. The more you learn, the more they should realize you are taking this seriously. Which MIGHT lower some of their concerns. MIGHT because they are your parents, and parents tend to worry about their kids.

I have been out of my parents house for many decades. Even though my dad used to own a sail boat, my parents, and my wife's parents, do not like our idea of sailing off on a boat.

Later,
Dan
PS. Your English is most excellent.

[SteveSadler]

They'll get over it. Both sets of parents were shocked when we left mainstream and followed a dream, bit it's a safe and adventurous lifestyle you'll remember forever! Give them a good sailing movie(drama free) and reasure them you'll be careful and call them often. It's kind of like leaving your child at day care for the first time, tell them you'll be fine and just go, no second thoughts. Total confidence.

[LLCoolDave]

This is a good video to introduce family to the sailing life.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=syJXrbWU1Aw

[hpeer]

Well all our parents are long dead.

We have the opposite problem that some of our kids greatly dislike having us take off on a boat. None approve of our bohemian life style.

Story time, I’ll keep it short.
I was living in the porch (Ex wife and I didn’t get along) and watched a robin raise 3 young ones. I watched her carefully construct the nest, sit the eggs, fed the little monsters till they were near as big as she. Then one Saturday morning, she is working herself to a frazzle. She fillies back to the best, worm in mouth, but stops about 3’ from the screaming brood. At this point they could not even fit in the nest.

She eyeballs the situation.

She gulps down the worm.

She hops over to the nest.....and destroys it.

And flies off.

The young ones sit there stunned for about 15 minutes. If a birds face could say “WTF” they did.

Then one lets go the twig and flies off.

In 15 minutes they were all gone, just some twigs on the ground was all that was left.

And thus nature provide a lesson, make of it what you will.

[TDB1227]

Originally Posted by Andrada_123

Hi everyone!

This is my first post and I'm sorry for my English (it is not my first language).
I wanted to ask all of you how your parents reacted when you wanted to "get out of the system" and start sailing.
My boyfriend and I will buy a boat really soon and move on it. He is now taking the sailing classes (required in out country if you want to sail a boat over 22.9 feet) so he is kinda inexperienced (but learning) and so am I..my mother and grandmother are freaked out.. literally.. and it's a very big scandal over and over again.
I was thinking how other people deal with this problem. How did you make your parents understand ?

Thank you

Go for it - use commonsense and enjoy.

[Tellie]

Originally Posted by hpeer

Well all our parents are long dead.

We have the opposite problem that some of our kids greatly dislike having us take off on a boat. None approve of our bohemian life style.

Story time, I’ll keep it short.
I was living in the porch (Ex wife and I didn’t get along) and watched a robin raise 3 young ones. I watched her carefully construct the nest, sit the eggs, fed the little monsters till they were near as big as she. Then one Saturday morning, she is working herself to a frazzle. She fillies back to the best, worm in mouth, but stops about 3’ from the screaming brood. At this point they could not even fit in the nest.

She eyeballs the situation.

She gulps down the worm.

She hops over to the nest.....and destroys it.

And flies off.

The young ones sit there stunned for about 15 minutes. If a birds face could say “WTF” they did.

Then one lets go the twig and flies off.

In 15 minutes they were all gone, just some twigs on the ground was all that was left.

And thus nature provide a lesson, make of it what you will.

Yep.

[smbdyiam2]

no good answer to this. relationship with family? age of you and boy friend? relationship of you and boyfriend? Jobs? income? savings? Maturity for age? physical health?
Long term goals?
I did what I did and never looked back. I know lots of people that say I wish I had did this , And just as many that say I wish I had never done this. only you can tell . Just think it through before you jump. Then have a great life.

[Captn_Black]

Don't let your family hold you back. It is natural for them to worry about you, but you can't live in their pocket, and if they care about you they should want you to follow your own path. Take them sailing once you have gained some experience, maybe it will ease their worries. My girlfriend had never sailed before when we brought our boat, her family were supportive, although she was 29 and already living and independent life at that point. We now have a 1.5 year old daughter aboard too, although my gf and daughter return to Poland to stay with her parents each winter, it's a good solution for us all - although our plans got a little messed up with the whole virus things, we are managing. All the best!

[Flamehand]

For parents the safety of their offspring is paramount. Appreciate it, honour it but make your own decisions.

Ask yourself - What is life for? What do you want to achieve? What would represent success/failure to you, your boyfriend, your parents (in that order?)

What are the potential downsides/sacrifices implicit in your choice? How do you mitigate against them?

Is there a safer, middle course to steer? Take a (finite) time off and go sailing for a year but regroup after that time to take stock of your life?

(Both) ask yourselves the awkward questions. What happens if you split up? Do you want children? Financial security? Bricks and mortar home?

Very few people at the end of their lives wished that they had spent more time at work or in the rat race but you must have a plan for life. This might just be - go sailing and give myself time to discover what is important.

Nowadays it is always possible to start again. Don't be afraid to venture but be wise and listen to people with life experience, not to be put off searching for your dreams but to be realistic about the best way to pursue them. Fair winds and wishing you, and your parents, every blessing!

[Fore and Aft]

May I suggest a family movie and popcorn night. Adrift should help calm all their fears.
My mother n law burst into tears when I asked for their daughters hand in marriage. She asked if they could at least have her buried in their home town. Apparently a 24 year old boat bum was not what they had in mind for their daughter. 21 years later we are still married and Tina is still alive.
Cheers
https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/adrift_2018

[captlloyd]

It’s parents and grandparents job to be concerned with your wellbeing. What you are proposing is very different from what they think your lifestyle should be. You need to be patient and understanding to their concerns, communication is your friend. But stand firm, it’s your dream and no one has a right to interfere including your parents.

[Sailshabby]

Originally Posted by S/V Illusion

What makes you think you are correct and your parents and grandparents are wrong?

What makes you think you’re wrong and your parents and grandparents are right? Do they panic every time you drive a two ton car on the highway at 100km per hour while other two ton cars driving 100km/hour drive towards you, only missing you by mere meters?

[Captn_Black]

Originally Posted by Fore and Aft

May I suggest a family movie and popcorn night. Adrift should help calm all their fears.
My mother n law burst into tears when I asked for their daughters hand in marriage. She asked if they could at least have her buried in their home town. Apparently a 24 year old boat bum was not what they had in mind for their daughter. 21 years later we are still married and Tina is still alive.
Cheers
https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/adrift_2018

This is probably better idea than a sailing trip, if they get seasick it won't help their opinion.
Give them some ginger just to be safe, it's the best thing for seasickness that I know of. I always have some candied ginger aboard for guests.

[Franziska]

It might be worth showing them some selected episodes of:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCnJ...whcqJBrW-z_htw

Windhippie.

She is even solo sailing and seems to have the support of her family.

Things can turn out very well too.