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Old 01-09-2019, 16:43   #121
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Re: Why do friends feel so entitled to come on the boat?

I am actually a little surprised by this. In many cultures hospitality is a point of honor. It may be a burden on you to extend a welcome, but be gracious and don't show it. (Do you begrudge opening another bottle of wine for dinner guests?)

Over the years we have had many guests aboard, however rarely have they been overnight trips.

If someone suggests that it would be "nice" to be able to go out on the boat we will always extend an invitation, and try to make it an enjoyable trip. If they seem to expect more than a day sail, we would gently decline, with, "Our boat really is not set up for over night guests."

We try to limit the size of the crowd, and let me tell you, when the sails go up and the boat heels over, it is no longer a party barge and everyone gets that message pretty fast. They may not get the hard drinking booze cruise they wanted, but they know they have been sailing.

Here is a funny one however. We invited several women who run and work at our GYM to go for a sail. They had never been on ANY boat. We set a date and I said we can take six. They showed up with eleven, several teens and sub teens. AND a couple of platters of cerviche. Well, we put the food below, sat them on the deck and off we went. Our normal day sail including the spinnaker. We had a great time, and on the run home Judy steered, I ground the spin sheet, and one of our guests trimmed the kite, knowing absolutely nothing but laughing all the time.

The fact that we all have a chance to share this wonderful sport of sailing or this life on a boat is a gift to us. Be happy you can do it, and make them never forget it.
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Old 01-09-2019, 18:25   #122
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Re: Why do friends feel so entitled to come on the boat?

However you handle it, it's a good problem to have.
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Old 01-09-2019, 18:31   #123
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Re: Why do friends feel so entitled to come on the boat?

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We set a date and I said we can take six. They showed up with eleven, several teens and sub teens.
And you have safety gear for that many?
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Old 01-09-2019, 18:35   #124
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Re: Why do friends feel so entitled to come on the boat?

Now that we are full time cruisers on the hook we very rarely have guests.
Our plans are never firm enough to meet the dirt dwellers schedule.
We may be somewhere convenient for them, but then again, we may not.
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Old 01-09-2019, 19:05   #125
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Re: Why do friends feel so entitled to come on the boat?

We can feed six, but sleep two. (Guests welcome for day-sails, only.)
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Old 01-09-2019, 19:47   #126
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Re: Why do friends feel so entitled to come on the boat?

Land people make a mess and stuff up the toilet.
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Old 01-09-2019, 19:55   #127
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Re: Why do friends feel so entitled to come on the boat?

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Me and my boyfriend own a 33ft yacht and ALL of our friends thinks it's ok to invite themselves out on OUR boat constantly. It drives me absolutely crazy. We bother early thirties and like a laugh and a rum or five but we spent the whole of 2018 entertaining other people and didnt actually spend time together on the boat so this year we just told everyone we weren't taking anyone out because last year became to much for us and it cost us so much money. If course people bring a bottle of wine but they don't bring the nibbles or the rum or the gin which ended up costing a fortune!!!

This year has resulted in this people now saying oh... My friends visiting from America. Wouldn't it be great to go on your boat for the day! Frankly they can piss off.

I can't wait to go cruising and meet all you guys because everyone has their own boats to sleep on 😂
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Old 01-09-2019, 20:09   #128
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Re: Why do friends feel so entitled to come on the boat?

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And you have safety gear for that many?
Nope, I don't
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Old 01-09-2019, 20:14   #129
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Re: Why do friends feel so entitled to come on the boat?

Wingssail that reminds me off a time we were delivering a yacht to Picton NZ. We anchored in a bay that had a school group camped there. We all got talking and some of the students expressed an interest in going sailing. The owner was not keen on being onboard with that many kids (at least 10) so he let me and one of the teachers take them out for an afternoon sail. He stayed onshore drinking beer with one of the other teachers. When we got back we had a big campfire and singalong. The memories are still with me 26 years later.
And Simi 60, I doubt there was the correct number of life jackets onboard, but hey it’s good to live on the edge occasionally!
Cheers
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Old 01-09-2019, 20:23   #130
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Re: Why do friends feel so entitled to come on the boat?

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... ALL of our friends thinks it's ok to invite themselves out on OUR boat constantly...
Just how do they do this?

I think it is gracious hospitality to invite people to go out on your boat, and I am all for that. But how do they invite themselves? Are you a pushover? Do they show up unannounced and tell you "Were goin' out"?

All you have to do is welcome them aboard and just sit there. They are not going to start your motor and drive away, are they?

"Can we go out?", "Sorry, we can't today." Easy.

They are not going to go below and open you liquor locker and get into your rum, are they?

Be friendly and keep smiling until they get the idea that it's not happening.

You don't need to be a pushover.

Take control. Invite who you want, when you want and take control of the situation.
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Old 01-09-2019, 23:41   #131
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Re: Why do friends feel so entitled to come on the boat?

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Originally Posted by Simi 60 View Post
Now that we are full time cruisers on the hook we very rarely have guests.
Our plans are never firm enough to meet the dirt dwellers schedule.
We may be somewhere convenient for them, but then again, we may not.
This. We tell them we know where we'll be, or when we'll be, but rarely the two together. Kinda quantum stuff right there if you think about it
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Old 02-09-2019, 02:39   #132
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Re: Why do friends feel so entitled to come on the boat?

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This. We tell them we know where we'll be, or when we'll be, but rarely the two together. Kinda quantum stuff right there if you think about it
Yes,the ole uncertainty principle leaps right out atcha!

Way back when we were still worker bees and weekend sailors we'd take friends out sailing in SF bay regularly. But then we knew that we'd be on the boat in the marina Saturday at 0900 and meetups were easy. Now we know that we'll be south of the cyclone belt beginning in late November... and that's about it! Too loosey-goosey for most visitors to deal with, so we've had but a few day sail guests in years... and it's ok!

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Old 02-09-2019, 03:13   #133
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pirate Re: Why do friends feel so entitled to come on the boat?

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Faye I will keep an eye out for a yacht called Door Mat. Not sure I would come over and chat as you sound like an only child who does not like sharing!
Cheers
Bit harsh..
Theres sharing and theres being taken advantage off by spongers bearing token gifts.
Cheap £5 Tesco wine in exchange for good spirits comes under that heading.
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Old 02-09-2019, 03:20   #134
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pirate Re: Why do friends feel so entitled to come on the boat?

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Originally Posted by wingssail View Post
I am actually a little surprised by this. In many cultures hospitality is a point of honor. It may be a burden on you to extend a welcome, but be gracious and don't show it. (Do you begrudge opening another bottle of wine for dinner guests?)

Over the years we have had many guests aboard, however rarely have they been overnight trips.

If someone suggests that it would be "nice" to be able to go out on the boat we will always extend an invitation, and try to make it an enjoyable trip. If they seem to expect more than a day sail, we would gently decline, with, "Our boat really is not set up for over night guests."

We try to limit the size of the crowd, and let me tell you, when the sails go up and the boat heels over, it is no longer a party barge and everyone gets that message pretty fast. They may not get the hard drinking booze cruise they wanted, but they know they have been sailing.

Here is a funny one however. We invited several women who run and work at our GYM to go for a sail. They had never been on ANY boat. We set a date and I said we can take six. They showed up with eleven, several teens and sub teens. AND a couple of platters of cerviche. Well, we put the food below, sat them on the deck and off we went. Our normal day sail including the spinnaker. We had a great time, and on the run home Judy steered, I ground the spin sheet, and one of our guests trimmed the kite, knowing absolutely nothing but laughing all the time.

The fact that we all have a chance to share this wonderful sport of sailing or this life on a boat is a gift to us. Be happy you can do it, and make them never forget it.
Looking at those pics I'd have done the same.. sadly eye candy rarely comes my way..
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Old 02-09-2019, 03:43   #135
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Re: Why do friends feel so entitled to come on the boat?

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.
And Simi 60, I doubt there was the correct number of life jackets onboard, but hey it’s good to live on the edge occasionally!
Cheers
All good until you get your gear checked (yes, it has happened) or you actually need them.
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