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Old 30-01-2019, 17:35   #106
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Re: Why do friends feel so entitled to come on the boat?

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Originally Posted by Calif.Ted View Post
I went day sailing/ whale watching with 3 friends yesterday, only problem was deciding which boat to take, my 32 or their 36, 38, and 43. You need a better class of friends.
Exactly!!!!!

Actually to be more serious, I was delighted to single hand my previous 35 footer almost anywhere and had some 20k+ miles under the keel...

I found that I wanted to share the experience with friends and decided to get a larger boat. I had planned on 45 to 48 feet but a beautiful 55 footer at the right price in the right place showed up.

I still single hand occasionally but with three cabins I easily lose track that guests are aboard.

Some insist on doing dishes, others like to stand watch. First trip with new people I pay attention to making sure they are comfortable and know what the fun options are (boat toys, hiking, etc.) After that i assume they are self sufficient.

With a smaller boat it was harder. I suspect there may be a connection and as i enjoy exposing people to the sea (and why we should protect it) i picked a larger vessel than just i needed.

Just a different set of choices, not better or worse... Just different...
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Old 31-01-2019, 17:47   #107
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Re: Why do friends feel so entitled to come on the boat?

As my dad used to say, ďThereís no point in having it, if you canít share it with the people you love.Ē
We have guests all the time.
Like many things in life, clesr communication and setting expectations is key.
Also, I might add, ďyou can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you canít pick your friends nose.Ē
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Old 04-02-2019, 11:48   #108
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Re: Why do friends feel so entitled to come on the boat?

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As my dad used to say, ďThereís no point in having it, if you canít share it with the people you love.Ē
We have guests all the time.
There are crew. There are guests. There are friends. There are loved ones. We love to share our adventures. Some we share with, and some we have learned which one they are the hard way.
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Old 11-02-2019, 22:14   #109
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Re: Why do friends feel so entitled to come on the boat?

I narrow down who should come and when they should diner and a couple drinks while tied in a slip most people are always welcome, just contribute something (I wouldn't go visiting without a small gift of wine or some food) a few hours sail is similar and some times a precursor to the first one. Anything longer than that I'm more selective for the protection of everyone's sanity, and I explain that while she is a pleasure boat space is pretty limited and so are the amenities and helping is going to be required both with the boat handling and provisioning. That usually gets ride of most non compatibles and the non compatibles that are more persistent "Oh and just a heads up I sleep naked and have been known to sleep walk." Usually does the trick
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Old 18-02-2019, 22:57   #110
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Re: Why do friends feel so entitled to come on the boat?

I grew up in S. Florida and around boats. I really don't have any landlubber friends, we are all water people and generally speaking, I love having my real friends out on the boat, great times and cherished memories... Now those on the fringe or associates, not so much =)
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Old 19-02-2019, 07:57   #111
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Re: Why do friends feel so entitled to come on the boat?

acquaintances/friends or girl Iím dating in cockpit at quay, slip for cocktails/dinner leisure while tied up with no plans to cast off is one thing, add alcohol and youíre asking for hot mess...bringing these ppl out in the dink at anchorage/mooring field for above mentioned possibly sleeping aboard is quite another...liability and bottom line question ďis risk worth the reward?Ē

As a rule I donít take aboard people much less friends I donít know well under way or especially at sail w/out them being nautically experienced or preferably boat owners period...Iím not a charter company here to provide free hospitality and liability issue certainly backs up my logic.

A lot of people just donít understand small crafts or yachtie culture and have ignorance confusing/mistaking life in small crafts for charter company situations or especially cruise ship culture
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Old 19-02-2019, 09:02   #112
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Re: Why do friends feel so entitled to come on the boat?

For many years I delivered sailboats from Hawaii to San Francisco bay that the owners had sailed to Hawaii and didn't have the time or desire to sail back (it's mostly downwind going to, upwind coming back or a much longer sail), although I did have one return trip to the mainland. I also taught celestial navigation and piloting at a local junior college night school. I oftn selected crew members from among my students for the 14-26 day deliveries. I never had trouble with any of them, and only one that I wouldn't ask again. The boats were between 23 feet and 50 feet, all sail (few power boats that didn't already have paid crew carried enough fuel for that 2000+ mile passage).
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Old 29-04-2019, 09:12   #113
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Re: Why do friends feel so entitled to come on the boat?

Just say that the head is broken and they will have to use a bucket which they must empty themselves.....works every time.
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Old 01-09-2019, 09:48   #114
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Re: Why do friends feel so entitled to come on the boat?

Me and my boyfriend own a 33ft yacht and ALL of our friends thinks it's ok to invite themselves out on OUR boat constantly. It drives me absolutely crazy. We bother early thirties and like a laugh and a rum or five but we spent the whole of 2018 entertaining other people and didnt actually spend time together on the boat so this year we just told everyone we weren't taking anyone out because last year became to much for us and it cost us so much money. If course people bring a bottle of wine but they don't bring the nibbles or the rum or the gin which ended up costing a fortune!!!

This year has resulted in this people now saying oh... My friends visiting from America. Wouldn't it be great to go on your boat for the day! Frankly they can piss off.

I can't wait to go cruising and meet all you guys because everyone has their own boats to sleep on 😂
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Old 01-09-2019, 11:27   #115
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Re: Why do friends feel so entitled to come on the boat?

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Me and my boyfriend own a 33ft yacht and ALL of our friends thinks it's ok to invite themselves out on OUR boat constantly.

Frankly they can piss off.
Hi Faye,

Welcome to this cruisers' forum!
Your comment does not need a reply. It sounds like you have regained control and ownership of your yacht. Fair winds.
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Old 01-09-2019, 11:40   #116
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pirate Re: Why do friends feel so entitled to come on the boat?

You tell em gal.. else give them a shopping list of things to bring..
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Old 01-09-2019, 12:30   #117
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Re: Why do friends feel so entitled to come on the boat?

I got into sailing after being invited by a former colleague for a day sail with a mutual colleague who was visiting from abroad. I followed the skipper's directions on footwear, clothing and what food and drinks to bring. We ended up as sailing buddies for the next 5-7 seasons and but for his new life arrangements (marriage) would have become boat owners-partners.

In our seasons of sailing together we went through literally dozens of boat guests who totally failed our directions and expectations. He once told me that in his then 15 years of sailing I was the only one he could see as a reliable and able guest/crew and was extremely happy my line of work was as flexible as his timewise.

I tend to follow that approach in giving all my invited friends the opportunity to be such thoughtful guests as to earn subsequent invitations. So far in 12 years of boat ownership I can count such welcomed guests on the fingers of my hand, may be two hands. But I'm glad I have that many.
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Old 01-09-2019, 13:54   #118
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Re: Why do friends feel so entitled to come on the boat?

Faye I will keep an eye out for a yacht called Door Mat. Not sure I would come over and chat as you sound like an only child who does not like sharing!
Cheers
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Old 01-09-2019, 14:08   #119
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Re: Why do friends feel so entitled to come on the boat?

Greetings and welcome aboard the CF, Faye.
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Old 01-09-2019, 15:47   #120
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Re: Why do friends feel so entitled to come on the boat?

I had a 1972 Pearson 30. Fantastic sail boat, but the "decor" was bad 70's and worn out below. No one wanted to sail with me. Be glad you have such a wonderful life, friends, and sailboat.
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