Hillbilly:
You delineated some certain circumstances and then asked a very specific question. Before you knew, the discussion had morphed into one concerning questions that are much broader and not directly related to the question you asked. You will find that that is typical of discussions in this forum :-).
I commend you for having had the fortitude to “let it all hang out”, and I don't think I'd be speaking out of turn if I say that the reason for the morphing was that the immediate thought in the minds of “old hands”, as in my own, was: “What the hell was he doing out there, if he has to ask this particular question?”
You will find that people here do their very best to help – always – and that they will make assumptions about a
new member without really knowing much about him. In your case the assumption was clearly made that you still have a lot to learn, as have we all. I thot it was particularly noteworthy that so many of the replies in one way or another addressed the problem of being a
skipper.
Boat handling is the least of that, although it is obviously an essential part of it, as is a solid grasp of the elements of yacht design – such as that encompassed by your original question. It gave me a little soupçon of satisfaction that so many members used the “Socratic method”: Asking you questions that were really not questions at all, but gentle suggestions about what the responder thought you need to learn more about.
I hope you will follow up on the “reading list” these responses have presented you with. And please know that in this forum you will get good answers to anything concerned with sailing that could possibly care to ask about. And that by serendipity you will, when the discussion “goes off topic”, also learn about much else, all of it “stuff” that a good
skipper carries around in his
head :-)
And never forget that by asking, you may do an invaluable
service for a lurker that doesn't have the courage to ask ;-)!
All the best
TP