The stupidest/funniest mistakes you've made?

[boatman1]

1975, Tampa, Florida, buying an LCM 6 to facilitate a construction project on Lignum Vitae Key in the Florida keys. After looking the boat over and recommending its’ purchase (to the contractor who had bid the job) I set to work changing engine oil, fuel filters and etc in preparation for the run south. Got finished up and commenced to enjoy Tampa as any red blooded 25 year old guy might do. Upon checking in with the boss that evening I discovered that the original owner of the landing craft was awfully angry: he went to use the boat one last time in his ship maintenance business, and that crew lost both engines steaming to where they were bound. Yes, this fool had left the fuel valves closed after my engine maintenance project. I hope those guys ultimately forgave me.

[Calif.Ted]

Pre-dawn thick fog found us outside Morro Bay waiting for it to lift a little so I wouldn't have to go in blind because there was a dredge and it's pipeline somewhere in the channel.
As the fog started to thin was motoring slowly and started noticing little white lights on the water. Thought they might be kayakers or crab or lobster pots so told someone to go to the bow "And keep your eyes on the water". With more visibility I was able to tell the lights were from houses on the hill being reflected off the water. While speaking to the "lookout" later he exclaimed "Oh, I wondered why you told me to keep my eyes on the Otters."

[Captn_Black]

Originally Posted by boatman1

Tampa, Florida

Well there was your first mistake
(j/k sorry, I didn't have a great time in Florida)

[Sailingmartin]

An adventurous couple from England, we bought a 36ft Vancouver sailboat in Fort Myers, Florida, and spent a small fortune on a new engine, rigging and other bits and pieces, before finally setting sail for the first time. The trip was not long - merely a few miles from Fort Myers Boat Yard to Bonita Bills on Fort Myers Beach. We had just passed underneath the Sanibel Bridge when we got all three sails up (cutter rig) and were jumping for joy as we sailed along at 6+ knots in our new boat. Not for long. Bang! We had strayed out of the channel in our excitement and ran fast aground in the sand.

Our predicament provided much entertainment for the locals who watched our efforts to try to escape with no success and a falling tide. We were however, offered lots of friendly encouragement, and numerous offers of beer and refreshments while we waited.

Eventually, a huge motor boat from Bonita Bills arrived and with an almighty tug on the main halyard from the top of the mast managed to heel us over enough to break free. They didn’t quite trust us to sail into the dock without further mishap and kept close by all the way in. Needless to say, much thanks, beer and good will kept the welcome the party going well into the night. The verdict from the motor crew was “You’ve never been a sailing if you’ve never been aground.”

After that we successfully navigated to Cuba, the Bahamas, up the ICW to Norfolk and then across to Bermuda, the Azores and Ireland before making it home. It has to be said that we did keep a much closer watch on the depth gauge for the rest of the trip.

[Marathon1150]

Many years ago I took a diesel course from a very competent mechanic. He emphasized turning the power off when working on the engine. Our solenoid driven engine kill switch stopped working just as we were pulling in to a guest slip at a marina on a small island in BC's Gulf Islands. We were told we could have the slip for one night only, which was fine. I shut the engine down by manually pulling on the cable that would normally be pulled by the solenoid.

The next morning I determined that the solenoid plunger was probably not working because it hadn't been lubricated for awhile, at least not as long as I had owned the boat. I turned off the power, dismantled the unit, cleaned and lubricated the plunger, and then put everything back together. Doing these things on this boat in the summer was not easy - access to nearly everything is terrible. I turned the power back on and tested the solenoid. It was pretty good. At about this time the marina indicated that we had to leave because the next boat was nearby. I thought it would be useful to take everything apart one more time, clean and lubricate everything and then we would be out of there. Forgetting to turn off the power, I pulled the plunger out and dropped it. The cable attached to the end fell across the two terminals on the starter motor, turned bright red and then melted.

I was able to convince the marina to give us another hour. The closest store sold fishing gear, so I made a new cable out of SS downrigger cable and crimps. This event occurred about 15 years ago and the Rube Goldberg repair continues to work flawlessly.

Since then, I never forget to turn the power off to the engine.

[Kd9truck]

Exhausted I started filling the Diesel tank with water, i realized my error within a couple of seconds but it was enough to imprint my brain for life.

Not the stupidest or the funniest, I believe my best work is yet to come.

[OBT]

A good friend told me of a time when he was crew on an old, rotten two-masted schooner out of Maine. There was only he and the owner/captain aboard. They were heading into Boothbay Harbor trying to make the anchorage when their rudder post finally gave up the ghost. Without steering and all sails set wing-on-wing, they were careening downwind towards the long, low pedestrian wooden bridge linking two parts of the village. They came up with two plans:
1, toss the anchor overboard, fetch up and lower the sails
2. if it didn't set, as soon as they hit the bridge, they would get their dufflebags and walk off the boat into the setting sun.
They tossed their anchor, it set, they lowered their sails and the spectators in town gave them a rousing ovation.
True Story

[inspectr]

Chartered a Halvorsen cruiser on the Hawkesbury, NSW Australia, probably 25 years ago
Approaching Brooklyn pier, two families, 4 kids, low tide, mooring cleats high on the wharf, foredeck crew leans on the pier to fend us off as we approach. Prop walk (my excuse anyway) takes the stern away from the pier, and my mate moves from near vertical to just about flat and falls into the water between the boat and a barnacle encrusted pier. We retrieve our overboard crewman, he did not even lose his glasses, and the whole restuarant above the pier rises and applauds
Nowhere to hide

[mowerandy]

Pretty basic one here - stalled the engine while berthing. Usually done at around 3 or 4 knots to about halfway in, then full reverse thrust and prop-walk right into position, where I then toss the stern line over the bollard.
Motor stalls shifting into reverse with decent way on...boat climbs the marina main walkway, only stopped by her keel, with pulpit perched high above the cockpit of the boat opposite. Saving graces...it was really dark, there was no-one around, she came off quick and easy in reverse with no damage done, and before heads started to pop up - phew!
Didn't get to take any pics (was in rather too much of a hurry) but I wont forget what a marina looks like with a six ton yacht parked on it instead of alongside it...

[dfelsent]

On the hard. 30’ sailboat is in the driveway. My first name is David. I have three neighbors with the same name.
Dusk. I’m working on the bottom. I hear someone shout “David.” Sounded like trouble and pain. I go to run through the gate into the house.

But I forgot. As I ducked and ran under the boat my waist hit the chain stretched between the two aft jack stands.

I doubled over. As I doubled over my eyeglasses hit the tip of the prop. The glasses deflected the blow, but were thrown off onto the asphalt driveway.

The prop tip cut deeply into my eyebrow.


I bounced off the chain. I landed full flat on my back and smacked the back of my head on the asphalt. I saw stars.

I staggered up and into the house. I called to my wife. “Where are you where are you?” She answered “In the bathroom!”


I ran into the bathroom where she sat on the toilet peeing. My hand was over my eye, and blood was dripping down and out and from under my hand and onto my cheek.

I asked “Are you ok?” She answered “Yes, but you’re not”.

2 hours and eight stitches later I was ok.

Turns out she never called, it was a neighbor calling her son.

And my kids wonder why I tell them that the dumbest things I have ever done were done stone cold sober.

[chrisr]

too many to remember actually, but one that still sends shivers down my spine was when i was a young 3rd mate on a bulk carrier coming into whyalla. narrow deep channel winding up a fairly wide gulf.

nice sunny day and i got chatting to the look-out. missed a turn waypoint by 10 minutes...suddenly realised we were WAY out of the channel, in water rapidly getting shallower

can still feel the cold chill of "OH MY GOD !"

then used too much helm coming back to the channel which had the engine room calling up asking "wtf ?" just said there was a fishing boat in the channel i had to dodge

don't think anybody (apart form the look-out) realised...but i eventually became a much better master because of it.

cheers,

[clakiep]

Originally Posted by Captn_Black

I'll go first -
When I was just in my twenties, my german ex and I were cruising down the ICW in my Columbia 27". I had read about two point anchoring, but not had any experience with it in my previous sailing in Europe and the Indian Ocean on other people's boats, nor in heavy tidal flows.
Anyway, I forget which port it was, but it was a good 2nm from the anchorage to the sea. We had dropped hook for the night and gone to sleep. We were awoken at around 4am by the motion of the ship, and found ourselves 1nm mile out to sea! We had drifted past at least a half dozen boat behind us, avoiding a rocky seawall and out to sea! Turns out, when the tide had changed, the rode got wrapped around the keel and chaffed through on the prop when the tide changed with no wind to set us away from our ground tackle.
Lesson learned!

Once chartering a sailboat in Holland for a trip on the Zuider See, I had a young student born in Turkey as crewmember, with no boating experience at all. Manouvering into a slip I told him to put a line around on of the poles and than walk with it to the stern of our boat. Manouver done I looked back and saw him clinging to the pole which was now kind of 20 ft away from our stern. We got ready to back out again to get him on board but it was to late - slowly he slid down until in the water. Of course it was my fault...I had given him incomplete instructions !

[Captn_Black]

Originally Posted by inspectr

Chartered a Halvorsen cruiser on the Hawkesbury, NSW Australia, probably 25 years ago
Approaching Brooklyn pier, two families, 4 kids, low tide, mooring cleats high on the wharf, foredeck crew leans on the pier to fend us off as we approach. Prop walk (my excuse anyway) takes the stern away from the pier, and my mate moves from near vertical to just about flat and falls into the water between the boat and a barnacle encrusted pier. We retrieve our overboard crewman, he did not even lose his glasses, and the whole restuarant above the pier rises and applauds
Nowhere to hide

Lucky! I must have read of over 2 dozen deaths happening this way! Usually because of cold water or a head injury that caused drowning before they could be rescued. GLad to hear it all turned out ok!

[Fore and Aft]

Had a client new to boating and we were helping him dock his newly purchased yacht. We thought the simplest job for him was to tie a stern rope around a cleat. As we started backing into his berth we got him to step of onto the dock. He did that fine but proceeded to tie the stern rope of on the first pontoon cleat. Needless to say that stopped the yacht and the bow swung straight into his neighbour. Luckily all that happened was a bit of scratched gelcoat and a lesson learnt.
Cheers

[OBT]

My, then 8 year old, daughter standing on the bow as we came into an anchorage said loudly, "I see land, I see land!" looking around, I said "yes" as we slowly slid onto a mud bank. No harm, just a few minutes of getting off. We then taught her to say "I see bottom".