Shy Cruising or don't invite me to the Potluck :)

[atoll]

Originally Posted by Dulcesuenos

So if wear nice clothes as opposed to stained rags were considered ritchey rich? And if we look like La gringa y gringo youll pobably not mingle with us?��

Sent from my LG-LS980 using Cruisers Sailing Forum mobile app

i'm sure we would be the first to help out after you'ved been mugged and need someone to keep an eye on the boat

[shorebird]

Social anxiety and just a being a "loner" are two different things. Someone who vomits when subjected to social gatherings is, IMHO, suffering from a rather severe case of social anxiety. Being a cruiser would allow a lot of solitude, but could also put the person into unwanted social situations, since boaters, in general, are a very sociable bunch. Hopefully, most other cruisers soon understand when someone just wants to be left alone, and give them some space. Us? We value our club, friends, food and wine WAY to much, but still value our solitude at anchor many times. Its just a question of balancing the two, and realizing everyone has their own space.

[Blue Crab]

Originally Posted by zeehag

... unless of course your stained rags have same kinds of stains as mine which could well be a conversation starter...... ...

I was chatting up a cute gal in a tiki bar and remarked that one of us "smelled like diesel." She assured me that it wasn't her.

Duh!

[Navicula]

Isn't this forum like a raft up or a potluck ..... Maybe it's happy hour....
We are all self serving and it's normal

[atoll]

Originally Posted by Navicula

Isn't this forum like a raft up or a potluck ..... Maybe it's happy hour....
We are all self serving and it's normal

i'm currently naked at this potluck,just got out the shower!

[Svdestiny]

Originally Posted by shorebird

Social anxiety and just a being a "loner" are two different things. Someone who vomits when subjected to social gatherings is, IMHO, suffering from a rather severe case of social anxiety. Being a cruiser would allow a lot of solitude, but could also put the person into unwanted social situations, since boaters, in general, are a very sociable bunch. Hopefully, most other cruisers soon understand when someone just wants to be left alone, and give them some space. Us? We value our club, friends, food and wine WAY to much, but still value our solitude at anchor many times. Its just a question of balancing the two, and realizing everyone has their own space.

Well I don't really vomit, kind of a mental, hyperbole type vomit. But I'm sure it is a social anxiety, which I handled okay with work , and more work, but since I've retired it's been harder. One thing I've noticed is that tho I drink a little, my husband doesn't drink at all, and there seems to be a LOT of social drinking out there! Not so keen on watching folks get shitfaced.
But interestingly, I can do one on one over coffee with anyone! And just give me advance notice if your coming over.....I need to tidy up a bit below.

[Navicula]

Originally Posted by atoll

i'm currently naked at this potluck,just got out the shower!

lol..........

[FSMike]

Originally Posted by zeehag

----
i usually mingle with the locals to find out the interesting news and locations of repair places and shops carrying interesting boat stuff, while the others usually gather to drink.
----

I solve this by drinking with the locals lol.

[Blue Crab]

Not my scene.

[FSMike]

Originally Posted by atoll

----
please i would rather you did not infere that i am a horrible person,as i am not,if i had a dollar for every person that i had helped over the years..........

atoll -
I don't think that anyone who has read your posts down through the years has anything but a favorable opinion of you.
It seems this is a difficult subject to communicate about. One thing that occurs to me is that different locations produce different attitudes. I spend most of my cruising time in the Bahamas. If I ventured further afield, as atoll and many others do, I would probably have different opinions about potlucks, etc.

[Capt RonB]

We enjoy all of the cruising experience. We love the solitude at times but we also enjoyed the dinghy raft drifts and beach happy hours in Georgetown.

Same thing with camping. My wife never got into any group activities in George Town while I enjoyed most of it. Yet when camping, she joined the basket weaving class while the dog and I went hiking in the woods.

We did meet some interesting characters and learned a lot by going to social events like the Red Shanks Yacht Club. Without cruising friends we wouldn't have learned about beach glass, emerald nerites or hamburger beans. Cruising friends have also bailed us out from time to time as we have in turn helped others. And the cruiser nets are an endless source of entrrtainment.

Can't wait to get out there again.

[Reach]

This topic is one that we discuss too. We are both introverted people and value our alone time. Too much socializing can be very draining and then we need to re-charge with even more quiet time.

I quickly had to learn that it is okay to say "no" to invitations, events or potlucks. Others either understand us & recognize that it isn't personal, or not and think we are stand-offish.

On the other hand, I like and need human interaction at some level and it is great when you find those connections that just click with your fellow cruiser.

If in the bigger crowds I try to challenge myself to get past the stereotypes, for example the more voluble "look at me" folks, and on occasion find a big heart or a nice friend. Diversity makes life interesting.

[Mike OReilly]

Interesting thread. Thanks for opening the question Svdestiny. I, like many responders, generally dislike the rally raft ups, and the yacht club parties. We have never buddy-boated, although if our paths should overlap with friends we'll stay in touch, and if we happen to drop the hook in the same place, we'll celebrate with a glass. I like meeting new and interesting people, but prefer small groups to large gatherings. I enjoy meeting locals, and agree with Atoll that this is essential.

Most of what's been mentioned here is classic introvert vs extrovert stuff. There's a great book for us introverts by Susan Cain called Quiet.

Reading through the posts so far suggests that most people here would be considered introverts. This has me wondering if there is a tendency for cruisers to be more introverted than extroverted. I wonder if that's ever been studied, hmmmm....

BTW, being an introvert does not mean you can't party with the best, just like being an extrovert doesn't mean you can't be reflective and quiet. It's just one of many personality characteristics.

[Svdestiny]

Mike, another thoughtful post. You have a unique ability to work "across the aisle". Run for office, please.

Thanks to all for responding. I guess I'm just trying to address my fears before heading out after a long hiatus due to health reasons.

It seams that the only fear I have left is of Atoll

[Rhapsody-NS27]

Originally Posted by Blue Crab

Not my scene.

I've seen pictures like that before and figured it was a power-boater thing. Not something I would go near either.

I like smaller crowds but I think it depends on the event in question. There is a lot to learn from others. I'm not a bar/club/drinking person so I guess certain social events I can stay away from. If/when I'm in another country, I like getting away from the crowds/tourist traps when I can and go visit other places. Worked out well for me going to Bogota Colombia. Not that I would avoid the tourist traps altogether, but there are a lot of other things to see/do.