Really had to go..

[DanielPerry]

I was sailing a bare-bones Pearson 26 down to the gulf to sell to fund hiking the Appalachian Trail (this plan worked and the boat is now owned by a strip club DJ in destin, FL). and I was on the west side of lake Michigan, having left Raccine, WI at four-o'clock in morning to avoid the wind clocking from NW to NE. I didnt have much ability to use the toilet as the waves were building quickly and I didnt want to heave-to for some stupid reason. So I called a marina and asked about "this harbor just south of you, with a marina in it, which looks like a good anchorage", to which the man on the other end said "yeah that would work". I sailed in, passing into the protection of a severely deteriorated jetty, and anchored. I rowed ashore to see if I could find a restroom, because (if it's not clear) I REALLY had to go #2.

Long story short it is a naval base and the only way I could relieve myself was to claim that the small craft advisory (we did end up with 8' waves rolling around out there) was just too much for me to handle. When I had argued this over with the Harbor Master he got a certain look..and said, "so you're seeking safe harbor?"
"Yes" I said, thinking of the restroom 20 yards away, and with that he was very happy to welcome me. I motored over to the wall and tied up and then spent the next two hours getting vetted by the military police (who were very nice). By this time I was beyond constipated and felt genuinely terrible and needed the rest I was able to take there at the navy base.

Does anyone have any stories, not necessarily concerning bowels but of being in a really awkward position like this?

[hscrugby]

Not sailing, and not quite as fun as yours, BUT years ago we were kayaking past a naval nuclear facility. Completely fine, everyone does it. It's posted along the shore, but the fence is way up the hill. I figured, i'll paddle over and pee no worries. Right as I was relieving myself the conversation with the gentleman with a gun started...
"oops"
on the plus side, he let me finish. then politely told me to NOT do that again, and pointed at the camera about 20' away I'd just peed for.
oh well.

[DanielPerry]

That's a good one, hahaha
Im imagining someone watching a wall of screens and getting on the radio, "Hey..yeah hes done, yeah im sure, I know Im sure hes done, no Im not messing with you go talk to him, YES he's zipped up just go talk to him"

[chris mac]

This happened in my former, non sailing life. The kitchen of the restaurant I worked in had a window overlooking back alley. The front of the restaurant faced whyte ave. One of the busiest streets in Edmonton, and in the university area, so very busy and commonly drunk people.
In the alley( full view of our window) we had people squat to take a dump, many take a leak, several girls take their tops off to readjust the fit of their bras(my favorite) and the funniest was a homeless guy pulled out a porno mag..... then his pants dropped!
Our dishwasher was elected to go chase the guy away.
Your story of the camera reminded me of that.