I realize I'm mostly preaching to the choir on this one, but I'm feeling the need to rant a little bit.
Today I decided to put the 5 gallons of
emergency diesel that I keep in a jerry can in the tank. I like to do so every few months so that the fuel in there is never worryingly old. What should have been a 5 minute task took about an hour, and left my clothes, my arms, my mouth, and my
cockpit coated in a film of diesel and smelling something fierce.
Why was such a simple task such a complete and utter disaster you ask? Because the EPA in all their infinite wisdom mandated a
safety valve in all jerry cans, because that should make it much harder to spill fuel.
My can has the type of valve where you have to push a plastic piece inward and down the neck of the spout in order to allow fuel to flow. It's always been a rather stiff spring on that mechanism, and difficult to deal with. But with age, the plastic and rubber assembly that
seals the neck of the jug to the body gets slightly softer and weaker. So after wrangling the ~35 lb jug over my pushpit rails, inverting it, getting the spout into my fill port, and getting it all balanced, I went to operate the valve. As I pushed downward, instead of the valve opening, the seal at the base of the neck was bent out of place, and fuel began spilling out from the base of the neck. Oh no! I quickly pulled the jug back aboard and wiped up the area.
I was able to realign it all and try again, with the same result. The force needed to operate the valve was officially less than the force needed to make it fail.
So I thought to myself, I'm a reasonably intelligent human. I'll just siphon the fuel in and avoid using the valve all together. I found a suitable piece of tubing, got the siphon working without incident, and started the transfer. Unfortunately, that piece of tubing was both so narrow that it took about ten minutes to empty half the jug, and too short to reach the bottom of the jug and finish the job.
But I figured, now the whole thing weighs half as much, I bet I can get it to
work properly. Without all that weight of the fuel resting on the little plastic mechanism, I can get it to open. But no, it was not to be.
So I dug out a better length of larger hose. This one was a bit longer than I needed and kind of a pain to deal with, but I got the siphon started. But then some air found its way into the tube and screwed it up. Well screw that says me, I can get this genius siphon solution working! I suck some more diesel through the tube, squat down to keep my mouth below the jug, and get a nice mouthful of diesel. But at least the siphon is working again.
Until I got another air bubble in. It's just a lot to hold onto, with the jug inboard, the fill port
outboard, a too-long hose, and only two hands, I can't keep everything nicely in place.
But by now the jug is down to about a gallon. So I go to plan D, and get a nice big funnel. I rest the funnel in the fill port, and pour the remaining gallon in without the neck on the jug at all. Easy peasy, but it wouldn't have worked at all while the jug was full. That, and I still don't have a free hand to keep the funnel in place, so it feels like a bit of a risky way to go.
Now I just have to rinse my mouth out, wash my arms, change my clothes, wash the
deck, and take a
shower. Easy 5 minute job!
Of course there's an easy solution. I'll just get a proper siphon setup with a little pump so I don't have to use my mouth, and an appropriately sized hose. But for crying out loud, I wouldn't have to go through any of this if I was just allowed to have a normal neck for my jerry can so I could gently pour it out!
The EPA has accomplished precisely the opposite of their intent with these safety valves. And this is a public forum, so officially no diesel went in the
water, but in an alternate universe it very likely would have. Great system, big fan. Rant over.