Going to Sea and Scared!

[Scorpius]

For heaven's sake GO! But two years is 'way to fast to circumnavigate. My wife and I took four years to get from Vancouver to Florida - and the last two years (in the western Caribbean) were MUCH too rushed. Enjoy the lifestyle, not the mileage.

[Gene Neill]

Originally Posted by JC Reefer

I have a deep desire to be out at sea. Whether drifting on a hot summer day or rolling down winter waves there is something in me that the ocean touches. I'm unable to fully articulate it but I think and hope that some of you know what I am writing about.

As it stands my current plan requires me to sell the house, cars, belongings and give up the dog. I am prepared for the changes and my wife is already on board.

I'm right there with ya, bud. Our means are modest, so I'm refitting an 27' vessel which we hope/plan to live on for two years(-ish), starting fall 2020. House, cars, dog, everything must go. No circumnav planned though, we just want to cruise the Caribbean. Plenty to keep us busy there for a couple years!

From the very beginning, the whole thing was actually my wife's idea.

No terror here ... YET. That will come when we leave George Town on this toy boat headed for I-65 to the VI.

You haven't even mentioned what boat or boats you're interested in yet. What are you leaning toward??

[lowey49er]

always keep the dog,

[NevisDog]

... or don't have a dog if you plan on going sailing. (Our one-man dog sure is our greatest impediment to sailing the Pacific, but hey...)

[Aguabago]

Agreed on taking a slower pace. Everyone I meet says they wish they had taken more time in the best places. 2 years would be better for a Carribean or Mediterranean lap.

[Nikki S]

Maybe I missed something, but If your wife is onboard, why will you end up alone? Do you think she will want to quit and you won't want to and will choose boat over wife? Have you discussed that with her? ...... you know, outside the box, there are many options.....like let's say you decided you wanted to move back to land in a few years but she wasn't ready, well she could sail to Fiji and you could work on land to save up for a plane ticket and fly over and meet her there for a bit....or vice-versa

Scared of being happy but poor...... being poor is fine if you are happy though, isn't it?

We too sold our house and belongings, a few years ago, to buy the boat and never looked back. Yes, we faced a variety of fears and worries along the way, and still do... I guess there's always something that conjures fear, no matter what you are doing with life. I think the consensus amongst authors and teachers is that it is a great idea to face your fears (within reason).....& umm something about focus on your breathing.

[thomm225]

Another option is to get a boat and "go to sea" in the area where you live.

Many of us would like to go to sea but have too many responsibilities so we make the best of it sailing on the weekends and vacation until we actually can

If you are near the ocean (or a large lake or bay), you can actually get a lot of enjoyment out of your boat and the surrounding "sea" without actually living on a boat

Just seeing other boats on the water and being out there for a few days or a week or two makes me feel a part of it................

[Olddan1943]

Originally Posted by thomm225

Another option is to get a boat and "go to sea" in the area where you live.

Many of us would like to go to sea but have too many responsibilities so we make the best of it sailing on the weekends and vacation until we actually can

If you are near the ocean (or a large lake or bay), you can actually get a lot of enjoyment out of your boat and the surrounding "sea" without actually living on a boat

Just seeing other boats on the water makes me feel a part of it................

Leaving the boat last night:

The bad part about a lake is, you cannot outrun your mortgage. SMIRK

[captlloyd]

One of the disciplines that I was involved in called the mind the “morass”. A swamp-like place where slimy creatures dwell. (Well maybe a little over the top but not far off). Focus and commitment are the order of the day, try to stay out of the swamp, the morass will suck the life out of you.

[CarlF]

As with most fears, the way to conquer it is in little steps that allow you to change your mind if it goes badly.

Forget about circumnavigating for now. First you need to see if you and your wife enjoy living on a boat. Sell the house, buy a boat, and keep the dog.

Spend a year doing coastal cruising with only occasional 1-4 days offshore. Spend the winter in the Bahamas - maybe the Caribbean. The dog will be fine since most nights will be at anchor with time to run. Take the year to get know your boat intimately - and give problems some time to surface. It's much easier to fix things in the US.

Don't discuss what happens after the year until the 8th month or so. Then have an honest and open discussion. If you both want to circumnavigate, go for it. If not, there are many options that don't require anyone giving up their dream.

[double u]

Originally Posted by CarlF

As with most fears, the way to conquer it is in little steps that allow you to change your mind if it goes badly.

Forget about circumnavigating for now. DONT!!!
First you need to see if you and your wife enjoy living on a boat. Sell the house, buy a boat, and keep the dog.

Spend a year doing coastal cruising with only occasional 1-4 days offshore.
go big as soon as you feel 1/2way secure in your sailing skills. if you have half a brain you'll NEVER will feel absolutely "secure" at sea. don't get bogged down in daysails. we met many a Med-sailors that had set out on a rtw but found that daysailing is so tireing that they figured 20 xMed-daysail=transatlantic - & thought that was unendurable & stayed in the MED - which would be ok too - only they felt somehow that their dream has slipped away
Spend the winter in the Bahamas - maybe the Caribbean. The dog will be fine since most nights will be at anchor with time to run. Take the year to get know your boat intimately - and give problems some time to surface. It's much easier to fix things in the US.

Don't discuss what happens after the year until the 8th month or so. Then have an honest and open discussion. If you both want to circumnavigate, go for it. If not, there are many options that don't require anyone giving up their dream.TRUE!

it's very easy to lose sight of "the big dream" (that surely is not for everybody!) & be overwhelmed by the nitty-gritty of up-anchor in the morning, constant high alertness of a coastal daysail with continuously changing conditions & stressfull dockings in the evenings in crowded marinas or harbours.
for us worked very well to rapidly increase our strides from day zero, transat after 6 months from start, ...(but then admittedly we were young...& again, this is anecdotal evidence...)

[blueazimuth]

A 2 year is unrealistic, unless all you want see is water. And your wife - as she walks away...
Most "normal" full time cruisers sail about 15% of the time.
This leaves 85% anchored or in the boat yard, or otherwise not moving.

I sail to explorer the land, meet the locals and enjoy their cultures. This takes time. Bearing on mind weather patterns, I stop to smell the roses. Just one example: when sailing down to New Zealand, most cruisers plan to stay 6 months, or 18 or 30 months.

I know of 3 cruisers, all of whom planned a 3-4 year circumnavigation
Couple 1 - 17 years.
Couple 2 - got as far as Indonesian in 15 years - now "on the way home"
Couple 3 - 12 years, still out there

And they all have the same wives.

[CaptChris376]

Keep the dog! I don't know how anyone could leave a family animal behind. I am in the same stage as you are but would never consider leaving my two rescue cats behind. I have researched pets on board quite a bit. It makes things slightly more involved when clearing customs but otherwise not a big deal. Especially with just one dog. I just met a couple who are cruising with their golden retriever and had zero problems when they spent two months in the Bahamas. Check out the kids and pets section here for more info.

[barnakiel]

Fear is normal, I think.

This much said, I never experienced fear of letting go. We just sold the apartment, cast the lines and went sailing.

Your fear is part of the package you are getting in return for your courage to change things in your life. I think this is exactly what makes the whole game worth an effort. You learn about yourself.

There is a zillion things one can do to overcome fear. However, my own method is to disregard fear. I say this as I noticed every time I try to manage fear I make it a bit bigger. But when I disregard it, my mind tends to wander off quickly and the fear dissipates.

Try dodging the fight (with your fear). It may fork for you too.

Cheers,
b.

[james247]

Originally Posted by JC Reefer

I have a deep desire to be out at sea. Whether drifting on a hot summer day or rolling down winter waves there is something in me that the ocean touches. I'm unable to fully articulate it but I think and hope that some of you know what I am writing about.



This desire was born somewhere during my 10 years working as crew and then captain for various vessels sailing and motoring the US east coast and the Caribbean. It was good fun as a young man but as life, I guess, became more serious I decided to leave that world of others vacations. I am now married with a home and car and looking to get back out there.



My fear is that my desires far outreach my finances, and the support of my wife and family. And that if I go then I will not want to come back at all. As it stands my current plan requires me to sell the house, cars, belongings and give up the dog. I am prepared for the changes and my wife is already on board. But I am concerned, that my desire to live beyond conventional boundaries will end with me eventually sailing alone, living a happy yet very poor and solitary life.



Not sure if any of you have read up on “terror barriers” but I am definitely going through one. In the next few months we will list our home and once it is sold we will set off to find our vessel, outfit her, and begin a 2 year circumnavigation. I’d like to know if any of you have gone through similar fears, doubts or concerns before making the move to “Living the Dream.”

Yea everyone does. The know or the dream. If you don't do it you will be 75 soon and it's too late.