Going to Sea and Scared!

[double u]

"my wife and myself) actually like passage-making and enjoy the solitude." lucky us too!

but I'm sure you noticed: we are among the lucky very-few...! people sail to all sorts of hellholes just to "break up a passage"

[Olddan1943]

Fine, plana 2+year trip and then, take it 'one day at a time.'

I was told of one couple who made a lengthy cruise. As hey neared the dock at home, she started commenting on how much she missed the house and she was not willing to make another lengthy cruise. They tied up, he put all her stuff on the dock, untied and left. I don't know when or if he ever came pack. CHUCKLE
I do not know it is true but, it is a funny story.

[Southern Star]

Your original post referred only to your experience, but it certainly seems like she has sufficient experience to make the call re: selling off and going cruising for a couple of years, if not necessarily a circumnavigation. Why not take it one step at a time? Get out there without an itinerary or schedule for two years and see how it goes. Assuming you are starting in the North Atlantic, you could enjoy the Bahamas, Caribbean and the Med with only two Atlantic crossings with the trades that involve long offshore passages. If your wife doesn’t feel up to the Atlantic crossings, you could arrange crew for a month while she visits at home, or just stay closer to home.

Regardless, you will be out there doing what you want with the woman you love. Give her the chance to undertake only as much as she feels comfortable with and I suspect you will both be much happier.

[Tessellate]

Funny, everyone's fixated on the 2-year circ, and that's not what you were asking about.

My advice - don't put the dream ahead of your happiness. Your dream is to be on the sea, and your fear is that you'll get carried away and end up in a state you didn't want to be. Yet you make a decision every day about where you want to go and what you want to do.

And I'd advise don't get stuck on thinking you must do a RTW or commit to any other long-term plan. People before they have a boat think the dream must be to sail around the world, because that's what all the books are about (and media news stories, movies, etc). If you find out your dream is simply to be on the water, well there are 100 ways to do that, compatible with many lifestyles (including even keeping the dog, if you wish).

Also remember it is right to be scared s#!%less. If you're not, I'd have a little concern for your sanity.

[davil]

suggested reading

sailingohana

[Don C L]

Originally Posted by JC Reefer

My fear is that my desires far outreach my finances, and the support of my wife and family. And that if I go then I will not want to come back at all. As it stands my current plan requires me to sell the house, cars, belongings and give up the dog. I am prepared for the changes and my wife is already on board. But I am concerned, that my desire to live beyond conventional boundaries will end with me eventually sailing alone, living a happy yet very poor and solitary life.

Not sure if any of you have read up on “terror barriers” but I am definitely going through one. In the next few months we will list our home and once it is sold we will set off to find our vessel, outfit her, and begin a 2 year circumnavigation. I’d like to know if any of you have gone through similar fears, doubts or concerns before making the move to “Living the Dream.”

I think you are right to have the fear and to be reaching out to reconcile it all. I too came back after a long hiatus, because of the craving... and this time with a wife who was lukewarm to it and inexperienced and we have two kids, 6 and 12. I’m only doing local offshore island cruising, in places and conditions I know very well, and I can be a nervous wreck at times over it. In your case it sounds like you are worried the sirens will lure you away to sea and you’ll be forced into a kind of lonely poverty, but content at sea. Based on my own smaller scaled experiences I’d say take it slow and leave yourself a way to return if things don’t work out. In my case I have a happy medium... everyone is pretty well on board with short trips, not too much sea sickness, not too scary, plenty of daily fun, that kind of thing. And though I long to just get out there alone like I used to I find once I am a couple miles out it just feels like I gotta go back and get the rest of the family back in the boat... even if we are only going out for the afternoon. Things are just a little different when yer older.
But I digress.
Did you think of renting out the house instead and buying a smaller boat for shorter cruising trips to see how it goes? I am guessing you are heading for the Caribbean first, right?

[JC Reefer]

Did you think of renting out the house instead and buying a smaller boat for shorter cruising trips to see how it goes? I am guessing you are heading for the Caribbean first, right?

Renting out is not an option for the current home. We bought near the top of this market so the expenses would barely be covered by a rental. Also, she is a big old thing with plenty of work to be done. There is always something. This property would be a land lords nightmare. But heck, it came with a pool...

Selling the home provides the down payment + cruising funds for 2 years. Maybe there is another way but I have not found it yet. As others have noted RTW is probably not an option but a goal to cover the Philippines would be fine place to start.

As for where we sail first, we have not purchased the vessel yet but will travel anywhere in the world to get the best deal. The dollar is so strong that buying overseas looks like the best bet. Something could come up though...

[Greg Mason]

What do we know about free advice? When we DECIDED to go offshore, our CHOICES became the concern. We chose to mortgage the house, buy the boat with the money and go. We always wanted a fallback plan. Choose is a word that allows many options, decide is to kill off the alternatives. Sailing offshore is not an adventure, it is a lifestyle. You mention 2 years away, but not about what happens after that. Remember the cruiser's lament 'retire early, there's plenty of time to work later'. I have seen lot of 'small c' commitments, and personally, I would be terrified if I didn't follow my heart, as you have alluded to, and then the opportunity had passed. I would stay away from emotional decisions and rely on intellectual direction. Once you see the thousands just like you, you may wonder.........

[fatherchronica]

Why are you giving up your dog? Our dogs and our cat, who finally died at 20 years old while cruising, were most excellent crew members. We have 3 cruising couple friends who added dogs to their crews after meeting and interacting with our dogs and cat. And that includes watching us take them ashore in inclement weather when everyone else was hunkered down snug in their crafts. We met a couple who lived aboard far longer than us, and took all sorts of classes in preparation to head to the South Pacific. We were in a gale together for just like 6 or 8 hours. A couple of months later the husband told me that the gale had terrified his wife so much that they were no longer going to cross any open seas and that they no plans at all anymore, and he did not know what their future held. Of course, cruising with no exact destination is good too and many folks go that route from the git go. Good luck what ever happens.

[NevisDog]

Wife and I discussed several years ago what to do in retirement - continue our lonesome life far from family or sell up and go sailing. Two years of planning and boat-searching then sold our house last year, bought our boat back in March and moved aboard. What else were we going to do - just grow old? We'll reassess in a year or so and decide whether we (she) is still on board with this crazy lifestyle. If not then we'll make other plans - no big deal.

[Southern Star]

Yes, the dollar is strong, but you also have to take into consideration the cost associated with trips abroad to check out, survey and close on a boat. In additon, you need to consider where the boat will be registerd, the costs associated with that and the costs associated with bringing the boat back to the US (or wherever) for resale.

[JPA Cate]

Important decisions often have some level of fear attached. A decision is a decision, you can decide something different when/if it doesn't work out as planned.

But, really, consider cruising as long as it is fun, keep it open ended. 2 years for a circumnavigation will not allow enough time to get to know different peoples and their ways, nor is it time enough to see everything you'll want to see. 6-10 yrs. is a fairly common length of time for a circumnav. Depends on your interests, though.

Ann

[seasick]

My family and I have set off on many multi-year voyages including a 4.5 year RTW. The only regrets I’ve had to live with was abandoning the family dog. It is the same with us today. We would be sailing the South Pacific today, for the forth time but for having to once again bid Aloha to the family dogs. We have taken them along in the past but this seemed equally cruel on many fronts, ie not enough room to run, etc.

Make certain your family shares your vision or you may end up not having one. The rest is just in the preparation and the doing.

[seasick]

My extended family (3 siblings, parents and niece and nephew) are all long distance sailors of some renown. The sailing Ciszek’s. This new generation of my sailing family seem to have it right. They didn’t liquidate the farm, the cars or the animals but rather rented the farm complete with the animals and they return via airlines every six months or so to get jobs, bolster the cruising kitty and return to their boats for the next legs. My niece Sofie Ciszek is doing this on MAPFRE, on her second Volvo RTW Race. The biggest issue with doing extended voyaging in this manner is that the boats are left hauled out and unattended during hurricane seasons which isn’t a great time to leave a vessel unattended.

[Olddan1943]

Originally Posted by Southern Star

Yes, the dollar is strong, but you also have to take into consideration the cost associated with trips abroad to check out, survey and close on a boat. In additon, you need to consider where the boat will be registerd, the costs associated with that and the costs associated with bringing the boat back to the US (or wherever) for resale.

Cash onboard? How much and where to hide it?