Fear

[accomplice]

It is important to recognize the difference between fear and danger. With respect to danger, we can attempt to assess and mitigate risk, or avoid it altogether. With respect to fear, this often clouds our decision processes and produces unnecessary suffering. People often confuse the two.

Your wife should talk to her doctor about medicine that can help avoid seasickness (i.e. scopolomine, meczlazine) or make the vomiting better once it sets in (i.e. zofran). Even if she doesn't need it, having it on-board can ease fear and anxiety.

[Delancey]

Anxiety, trepidation, butterflies. I work hard to be honest with myself about my feelings and would hate to see the spirit of my meaning obfuscated by semantics. Fear seems like the most succinct description for how I feel so that's the word I picked.

No, there is no specific concern I am in denial of. The boat is the least of my worries as I know she will take care of herself if she has to, the health and safety of the crew is my primary focus.

I was involved in some hairy life-or-death events as a youth that pretty much molded me as a person. These experiences taught that no matter what happens, I will never let myself down and that I have the will to survive regardless of circumstance. However, these experiences also taught me to recognize danger when it exists and to be deathly afraid of it.

Living is dangerous and we yet we all do it all day long. I believe most are oblivious to the truly tenuous nature of our fragile existence on this planet, but it's something I think about a little bit every day. My wife calls me the Buddha because I live in the hear-and-now by default, probably a result of my life forming experiences and yet, despite my obsession with death, I rarely live my life in fear.

However, I have a very dear friend who lost someone close to him on the same passage years ago. He is understandably worried for us and keeps bugging my wife about gumby suits and drogues. He is a very smart guy and a great sailor, I get his concerns and it is hard to not be influenced by his thinking.

Yes, it’s a July crossing, not May or June, but it looks like it’s shaping up to be an el Nino year.

Yes, we will still be north of 50 and we will probably get hammered on at some point but it’s a fast boat and hopefully we can stay ahead of the game. If not, I have gone to weather in wind speeds over seventy knots before and I know in this case we will always have luxury of plenty of room to run it off.

We might hit a sleeping whale and end up in the life-or-death raft but that’s why we have a liferaft and a bail-out-bag. If someone gets hurt or sick we all have at least some first-responder training, a ton of drugs, a sat phone, and if push-comes-to-shove an EPIRB.

My wife may get sea sick, but she may not. As the result of a couple of bad decisions which ended up having her go down below to don foulies when the cabin stank of spilt diesel fuel while we were in a super sloppy seaway, she got sea sick once on a passage but she slept it off and got better. We will have plenty of different meds available if she chooses to use them, and I think once she gets in the groove she will be fine.

Funny how writing about all of this makes me feels less afraid. Now what else was I worried about?

[gamayun]

I often fear running out of food so will always bring more than it would ever be possible to eat...

Sounds like it's going to be a great trip! Enjoy :-)

[JPA Cate]

Delancey,

I hear your concern. It reminds me of when my guitar teacher tried to get me to re-frame stage fright as "excitement." However, in your case, I think you've got your bases covered way better than I did.

I was concerned about the possibility of your wife's seasickness, but it sounds like it is a rare event for her and she coped well the time it did happen. Still, I would advise that you carry in the ships medicine chest something as prophylaxis for sea sickness, and also something to stop vomiting. A doctor's prescription for the latter will be required.

Finally, have a good sail.

Ann

[sailorboy1]

Originally Posted by Delancey

It is the fear that comes with knowing you are stepping off the map. The fear that comes from knowing you are going to a wild place. A dangerous place. A place where the details matter.

Seems to me to be the fear of a sane person! Have a good trip!

[Ryan H]

Originally Posted by boatman61

Hey.. I have that fear every other day...
What if I have a blow out at 120kph..
What if the steering link fails..
what if a ball joint goes..
What if the brakes fail..
What if the ass hole passing me at 160kph has any of the above..
What if he has a heart attack..
What if I run outa tobacco before I find a shop..

No fears left that are sea related boatman? As one of the few people on this forum who seem to fairly regularly jump aboard unknown boats and cross oceans I imagine you probably have more to say on the topic than most. I'd certainly be interested in hearing it. :-)

Sent from my SGPT12 using Cruisers Sailing Forum mobile app

[Mr B]

Having fear, Is a Healthy respect for the environment your in at the time,

I started off racing Speedway Solo at 15, Hitting the fence was a real fear, You could be killed instantly, or be in Hospital for years, with the very real possibility of never walking again,
I got caught in a snow Blizzard last year going over Mt Hotham, It was a case of keep riding my bike till I was out of it, or freezing to death if I stopped. 20 Kays later, I was out of it, Frost bite on the fingers,
I am currently recovering from a Shattered Bone in my shoulder from a front wheel stepping out, Smacking me straight into the road,
That sudden stop can and will kill, I am still riding, 5 kays faster, and I wouldnt be here,
This happened at 30 Kays,
Snow skiing is way more dangerous than riding motor cycles ever was, I do that too,

Im the idiot that makes the sparks falling from the top Multistory buildings when they are being built,
Fear of falling off the building, Yep,That first step is a real Doozy, You wont survive, Safety harnesses are a new thing, we never had them,

You just have to be aware at all times of where you were, A sudden blast of wind, Your airborne, 200 feet in the air, the wind is very strong, While at ground level, there was no wind at all,

Fear is when you Freeze up and are totally beyond help, and cant help your self,

Its when a man froze up from fear on a vertical ladder 10 storys straight up the side of a building, The doctor was lowered by a Crane box, tied the Bloke off to the cage, Filled him with knock out needles, Then broke every finger in both his hands to get him off the ladder, Thats real Fear,

Boating or sailing is way down on the list off dangerous activities,

If your well prepared and your boat is sound, You should have no problems,

[boatman61]

Originally Posted by Ryan H

No fears left that are sea related boatman? As one of the few people on this forum who seem to fairly regularly jump aboard unknown boats and cross oceans I imagine you probably have more to say on the topic than most. I'd certainly be interested in hearing it. :-)

Sent from my SGPT12 using Cruisers Sailing Forum mobile app

Land scares me more than the sea.. metaphorically..
On shore I'm subject to a multitude of things beyond my control.. so I'm always tensed and ready to react to the accidental and intentional..
At sea its a lot more relaxing.. I only have nature to deal with and to a large extent its predictable.. and relatively simple responses and tactics will deal with most things..
The ultimate storm/wave...? well.. **** happens..

[mbianka]

That's the way that the world goes 'round.
You're up one day and the next you're down.
It's half an inch of water and you think you're gonna drown.
That's the way that the world goes 'round. -John Prine

John Prine & Lyle Lovett : Thats The Way That The World Goes Round - YouTube

[gamayun]

Originally Posted by boatman61

Land scares me more than the sea..

I'm heading to Kauai in July and was thinking I'd hike the Na Pali Coast. In reading the description, it says there are spots where the trail is 10 inches wide with steep cliffs leading straight down to a pounding, rocky surf and imminent death. Or at least that was my take away. I did spend a minute putting a ruler on the floor, considering it briefly, and deciding, nope, not gonna do it. Fear of heights, if not clipped in, is too real for me.

[jongleur]

It's half an inch of water and you think you're gonna drown.

It's a happy enchilada and you think you're gonna drown. haha.

John Prine has a video that explains this.

[jimbunyard]

So does everyone else. Do you have a point?

[Delancey]

Originally Posted by jimbunyard

So does everyone else. Do you have a point?

What, who me? The topic is "The Sailor's Confessional" so, no, I do not have a point. Just doing some confessing.

[robert sailor]

Delancey,

I have done some pretty serious sailing in some pretty lousy conditions but I have to tell you even in the darkest corners of my mind I can not imagine going to weather in 70 knots of wind. I'm not sure its possible!

[boatman61]

Originally Posted by robert sailor

Delancey,

I have done some pretty serious sailing in some pretty lousy conditions but I have to tell you even in the darkest corners of my mind I can not imagine going to weather in 70 knots of wind. I'm not sure its possible!

LMAO... that's plain chocolate digestives, hot coffee and a good book weather..
Hove to with max reefs..