17 years is a long time. If you have spent 17 years 'getting her ready' you might have to face the possibility that you are someone who likes to work on boats, rather than sail them. Nothing wrong with it, and several of my engineer
friends do exactly that.
It might make you a happier person to acknowledge it. The idea of putting a boat together and then sending her off is an appealing one to many.
If not you, then "love the one you're with", raise the damn sails
, and enjoy yourself for heavens sake!
It's part of the male psyche to always want what we don't have. It's the brain's job is to overpower the 'heart'.