Abandon Living Aboard

[ricorrea2002]

Originally Posted by rognvald

We lived aboard ten years and witnessed the death of the dream in the majority of those we met. .

It is clear why many fail. What are the key succes points of those minority who live their dreams

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[rognvald]

Originally Posted by ricorrea2002

It is clear why many fail. What are the key succes points of those minority who live their dreams

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Ric,
My belief is that those who live their dreams are "counter cultural" in their mindset, independent, above average intelligence, self directed in their goals and interests, possess a spirit of adventure, do not fear new experiences and if they sail with a partner have a solid relationship built upon mutual respect, love and commitment with a common goal of living new experiences and realizing shared goals. Ergo, why so few make it in the long run. In regards to the last element, relationships, most people today are involved in mercenary relationships of mutual needs:"What can you do for me?" rather than a committed relationship based upon actually enjoying the company of your partner and sharing experiences. There are always the male/female conflicts which have been hardwired for millions of years of evolution and differentiate us(Honey, you're so messy when you work on the boat!), but these are not the issue. So, to me, it is quite obvious why so many fail and so few succeed. Good luck and good sailing.

[Randyonr3]

I didnt quit but my son did...
For a number of years He talked about wanting a life as we had, able to lift anchor or untie the lines and go.. and we did..
Found a ChoyLee 31 and he snached it up.. worked on it like a dog and talked of buddy boating with us as we traveled..
Had some great times with him sharing the how to's and why's of the cruising and then winter came along and he and his girlfriend couldnt hack it, in tight space to gether..
They moved off the boat, He sold the cute little boat at a loss and they moved back into a house.. sorry to see his dreams go down the tube but its his life and he has to live it the way he see's fit...

Was next to a guy in the marina that bought a 45 foot trawler.. spent a couple years and loads of money preping it for retirement in Mexico.. Left San Francisco only to call it quits down around channel islands.. wife said she'd take a buss back.. he also sold the boat at a loss..

[BandB]

Wifey B: While limiting ourselves short of our dreams is sad, limiting ourselves to our dreams may be as well. Dreams can expand and grow. Sometimes we're blessed with better than our dreams but we just have to be open to all possibilities and not scared to dream or grab opportunities. Endless possibilities. Dreams I was scared to even have were long ago fulfilled. Guess life since is after-dream but still dreaming...I don't know. And if what we continue to want remains the water then great but if something else comes along we want then fine too. And if you do move off the boat that doesn't have to be the end of a dream but can't be the start of another one. All I know is I never imagined any of the last 14 years and no freaking idea what the future holds.

[FollowingCs]

fail and succeed are so much dependent on the perspective. Did successful cruisers FAIL at living on land? Some people the destination of 'succeed' is $1 million plus income, for others 'success' is being above ground one more day.

To me, 'fail' would me that I really want to continue but my wife doesn't. I'm not sure how that would reconcile, guess I'd go back to golfing 4 days a week...

Anything other than that is just a life choice. If we find we both don't like it, and we decide to move back to land, that's not a failure, just a life choice. Or if we decide that we love it, but being close to kids/grandkids is more important, that is just a life choice.

~ FollowingC's ~

[sailorboy1]

abandoning cruising/living aboard doesn't you "failed", and a lot of it depends on why you were doing it to start with and want you wanted to get out of it

most of the stories I have heard are couple relationship related where they weren't really as much of a team couple as they thought they were

[Hudson Force]

Originally Posted by rognvald

For a true liveaboard that does not have the conveniences of-- nor live in a liveaboard marina, the pitfalls for those who are not truly commited are:
1. Garbage disposal
2. Laundry
3. Provisioning
4. Water
5. Maintenance
6. Finding secure anchorages during storm conditions
7. Bottom cleaning
8. Illness and/or injury
9. Lack of time spent with adult children/grandchildren/family
10. Need for more living space/shoreside amenities
11. 24/7 time spent together
12. The ultimate awareness of Reality vs. the Dream

................................

Nancie & I lived aboard for thirty years before we retired and started cruising full time back in 2002. Before retirement we often cruised to the Bahamas for a couple of months each year, but we kept a slip for days to work and we both had full and enjoyable careers. When we retired I had no worries about this long list of concerns ..... except number ELEVEN! At retirement we had been married for 31 years, but we had our own schedules for most of the days in those years. Sure, we had wonderful time together and we had long experience in negotiating the tasks that come with life,- daily chores, parenting, etc. ... but I was worried about number ELEVEN!

I've no answers! ...by luck or skill we can spend weeks,- months together without other interaction.

[BandB]

Originally Posted by Hudson Force

I've no answers! ...by luck or skill we can spend weeks,- months together without other interaction.

Wifey B: So, I know there are some things you can't publicly disclose but list some of the ones you do together that make it work. Heck there was a rousing game of monopoly on our boat last night. Seriously we have always spent nearly every spare moment together. But some of the things we do that can be listed here:

-Walks. Explore
-See new things
-Watch silly tv we'd taped
-Comedy dvd's
-We sing and play music
-Go find a park and watch others play
-Find local artists and musicians
-Go find a basketball court or tennis court
-Fix meals together
-Skinny dip...ok, but you know what comes along with that
-Cook and vary meals
-Eat ice cream. Ok, what boater doesn't love ice cream?
-Play computer and board games
-Watch other boaters. View nature together. Always better together
-Call our family and friends, even skype. Sure helps not feel disconnected
-Just go to the local shops and meet people
-Go explore in the tender. We must use our RIB more than any others. But we love to do it.
-We don't get bored. Generally every place we go we still have things we want to go back again for.
-And most of all laugh and giggle. Well, I giggle the most but I can make him do so. And he sure can make me laugh.

A lot of things have happened in our lives but boredom or tired of time together hasn't.

[Hudson Force]

BandB, I suppose our list overlaps many of your items. Much of our time is spent taking care of the other items on Rognvald's original list. We do a lot of exploring, dinghy tours, bicycling (folding Dahons), snorkeling, reading.... a lot of reading! We also take trips together away from the boat. After this hurricane season is over and before we cruise back to the Bahamas, we'll be off to Hawaii for some time. Sometimes our days are full and we don't accomplish anything!

[RKsailsolo]

Originally Posted by rognvald

Ric,
My belief is that those who live their dreams are "counter cultural" in their mindset, independent, above average intelligence, self directed in their goals and interests, possess a spirit of adventure, do not fear new experiences and if they sail with a partner have a solid relationship built upon mutual respect, love and commitment with a common goal of living new experiences and realizing shared goals. Ergo, why so few make it in the long run. In regards to the last element, relationships, most people today are involved in mercenary relationships of mutual needs:"What can you do for me?" rather than a committed relationship based upon actually enjoying the company of your partner and sharing experiences. There are always the male/female conflicts which have been hardwired for millions of years of evolution and differentiate us(Honey, you're so messy when you work on the boat!), but these are not the issue. So, to me, it is quite obvious why so many fail and so few succeed. Good luck and good sailing.

Well stated!

[zeehag]

having resided aboard since 1990 and having been full time cruising for many years now, i have seen many folks fail and return to their "home".
the fail folks kept talking about HOME without referring to their boats and the life being lived.
one must be flexible enough to acknowledge their home is within the self, not that particular measurable space one sets one's body into.
you cannot go anywhere without bringing that self with you, and magical change aint gonna happen. is interesting to listen to the goals and dreams, and also listen to the whiney bs emitted from the faces of the same souls about the problems with boat and living there on.
the DREAM occupies the mind, reality doesnt seem to enter into the picture with way too many starting out thinking this is an easy and carefree lifestyle.
there IS work involved. rodlmffao.
i LOVE it-- 10 percent make it. is good odds.

[oldragbaggers]

I don't think the word "fail" is appropriate in all circumstances. Certainly it may be for some, the ones who tell everyone they're going to chuck it all and sail around the world only to get to the next harbor and figure out that it was too difficult for them.

But there are many others who set out from the beginning with a cruising goal that is not permanent or open ended and when they complete their planned voyage or allotted period of time cruising they return and resume their shore life. I would say for those people, who managed to find a way to make the time and resources available to realize a dream it was a great success. So many trudge through life not even finding a way to work in a decent 2-week vacation let alone an extended cruise.

We can't always assume just because someone has moved off the boat that they have failed. Who are we to judge someone else's life/actions as a success or failure anyway. Sometimes what is perceived as a failure in one area just provides the impetus for great success in another area.

[whitedolphin2]

I love everyones in put on this particular topic i think we are all part of this great adventure and to place judgement on anyones story is wrong i think everyone floating or walking this earth is apart of a bigger story some just dream ...some follow there dreams into there reality ....now wether it exsits on land or water.... now the roots of this forum is Abandon Living Aboard but i believe this topic has sparked more than that because this concept of living aboard is.broad and i agree with everyones inputs i was writing my story out and was very avid about how ive been building a boat to reach this traveling the carribean living in.a comfortable home...my boat.....the place you lay your head at nite is tour home.if its a cardboard box a boat or has a roof or a.car ...it will allways be your home ...
I think that if you ask the universe.for anything believe in faith you will.be guided in that direction no body ever fails in this life you never abandon living aboard maybe you accomplished what you wanted maybe your path has changed do to things uncontrollable in your life no body ever abandons liveing aboard if they have had the abilty to do it just once...and thats all it takes and i will guarenttee that every one that has exspeinced it relive it in there dreams ....some start out dreaming of living abaord some have done it longer than others or untill there last breath but we all have never failed because each one of us will agree there in the dusty recess of our minds do we relive our exsperinces i believe if you choose love over fear faith and live in your dreams you have forever succeeded

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uJD5-R_HPCc

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[cappy.c]

Well I am very new to the forum and am in the process of being very new to the cruising world! I just wanted to share my newbie thoughts, So please excuse my Broad Reach if some disagree. I have always loved the ocean as I live very close to it being from Maine! Through my younger days I use to sail small sailboats and loved it with a passion! I use to dream of living on board and being part of the cruising life, But life had seemed to always get in the way! I have in my life been on a few sailboats of friends and had always loved it! Memories of my teenage days when my folks and I were on a day sail with a friend of my parents we arrived back to port with this huge old sailing vessel with 4 huge masts! Apparently it was a learning vessel of sorts for some sort of school.(Can't remember the details,) But I remember what my parents friend said to me. He knew I had a spark for sailing and he made this comment to me saying that big beautiful ship had room for one more student and he asked if I was interested? I didn't even have to think about saying yes it fell right out with my pounding heart! And the next comment he made to me is one I will never forgive him for! And one that still crushes me in a weird way to this day! He said WOW! I was just kidding! But he could tell from my expression how much I would of giving to be part of that world and he knew he hurt me very badly! Anyway I had told myself several decades ago I would one day live the life I so much desired and set some goals as to how I would manage this goal! And now I am there and it only took me to the age of a soon to be 45 in a few more days on the calendar, But I am there! I know this is a little long and I apologize, But This is meant for those that think of taking on these dreams and challenges! I have always known in my heart living on a sailing vessel was my destiny for some reason! It might sound strange, But I swear the ocean has always called to me in a way! I love being near it, I love being on it, I love diving in it! The strange thing is is my family from years past were all mariners of sorts, hauling granite up and down the eastern seaboard in sloops. I swear the sea beckons me and this is how I know it's meant for me! So I think if one has a similar kind of feeling? That just maybe, It might be for you too! I have saved and paid off our home, I am not buying new, but one in good shape as I want to know my vessel intimately! I am prepared for the expense as I have had several smaller type boats! I am prepared for headaches, Heartbreaks, and cost dismay! If you are aware of all of these things and still want to do it? You just might be one of those in the 10%ile! I know I am! And will be! Just a few short months and it's driving me crazy I can't make it go faster! Sorry this was so long, But figured for anyone thinking of this being something they want to do that this may help? Thanks and forgive me if I rambled?

[RumRunnerSail]

I think rognvald is correct. You have to have a good relationship with your partner to be able to withstand some of the pressures of living aboard full time. We have also seen many people not last very long for various reasons, but this one was a big factor.

I will say on our 5 year adventure of no land home and cruising throughout the Caribbean the first year was full of excitement, new challenges, overcoming fears, and growing personally. The challenges of transitioning from a full time job and life "plugged" into the matrix of American society is hard to get away from. Getting used to the details of living full time and traveling via sailboat is not easy in the beginning and many people fail.

The second year was so much easier and we were in our groove. Things were more relaxed and enjoyable. Tasks were more routine. Going in and out of new harbors was easy. Overnight passages not so hard. Checking into foreign country's not as overwhelming. Boat breaking not a big deal to fix...

The third year for us was a turning point. We had been to most places from Northern East coast America to Trinidad and didn't want to do the Med or Pacific. It was still fun and great meeting new people and exploring, but the "newness" of the experiences was starting to fade.

Fourth year there was a big transition from having a great time where it trumped some of the details of living aboard to the small tasks just getting aggravating. Laundry in the dinghy to the shore. Getting water that is not tainted. Boat breaking... We missed some of the luxury of life living on land. Running water, full electricity, trash, sewer and a house that does not blow away from anchor in a storm! These things started to become more important to us than living on a boat anymore. We knew we were probably done when we put our boat on the hard in Grenada for a few weeks and got an apartment to take a break. The fifth year became about where we would go back to in America and getting there.

We are waiting to go back out again and show our new son all of the cool places we went, but probably will "abandon" living aboard full time and go for 3 - 6 months at a time. I think it will give a good balance between both of the lives for us.