So very sorry for the loss of your brother, LynMarie, but this thread is from 12 years ago and reflects a highly unusual situation.
While I can't speak for highseas (and his last appearance on this Forum was in 2016), his intention, rather ineptly expressed, was that sailors employ prudent seamanship. I certainly do NOT think he was blaming your brother.
Of course, if (as I'm understanding it) your brother went out in search of and to assist a friend, he was brave, selfless and noble.
Sorry that as a new Member
, you've come across such an old and painful chapter.
Glad you're still sailing! Your brother would be proud of you.