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18-03-2017, 12:48
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#1
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Jolly ol' England at the moment
Boat: Albin Vega
Posts: 302
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Dating Locals While Cruising
I'm in the Caribbean for the first time ever (landlubbering unfortunately) and surrounded by beautiful black women whom I am particularly attracted to. I know I can't be the only guy here with that preference so I thought I'd ask what your opinions/experiences have been in dating local women while cruising. Seems unlikely to result in a long term first mate type situation but maybe (hopefully) I'm wrong about that
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18-03-2017, 12:55
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#2
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cat herder, extreme blacksheep
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: furycame alley , tropics, mexico for now
Boat: 1976 FORMOSA yankee clipper 41
Posts: 18,967
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Re: Dating Locals While Cruising
on this side, some do--then they marry em then they(the males) run away. be nice. donot break hearts--some families pack a whollop..could get sticky.
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18-03-2017, 13:08
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#3
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Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Bumping around the Caribbean
Boat: Valiant 40
Posts: 4,625
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Re: Dating Locals While Cruising
Just make sure they fully understand that you're going to be leaving at some point and you're not going to settle down with them whoever you are. It's all about being upfront about your plans and your intentions. I would also take the time to learn about the culture where you are and how dating and relationships are viewed in that culture. Don't make assumptions based on your own life experience, because the delta between that and theirs could lead to unexpected conflict from assumptions you both hold but never discussed openly.
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18-03-2017, 13:20
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#4
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Jolly ol' England at the moment
Boat: Albin Vega
Posts: 302
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Re: Dating Locals While Cruising
Quote:
Originally Posted by zeehag
on this side, some do--then they marry em then they(the males) run away. be nice. donot break hearts--some families pack a whollop..could get sticky.
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Ah Zee, I'd never do that. I always want to be able to see myself in the mirror and like what I see
I was thinking more about finding a long term companion to sail with.
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18-03-2017, 13:22
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#5
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Jolly ol' England at the moment
Boat: Albin Vega
Posts: 302
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Re: Dating Locals While Cruising
Quote:
Originally Posted by Suijin
Just make sure they fully understand that you're going to be leaving at some point and you're not going to settle down with them whoever you are. It's all about being upfront about your plans and your intentions. I would also take the time to learn about the culture where you are and how dating and relationships are viewed in that culture. Don't make assumptions based on your own life experience, because the delta between that and theirs could lead to unexpected conflict from assumptions you both hold but never discussed openly.
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I was thinking about long term. Short term is easy me being such a studly stud lol
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18-03-2017, 13:30
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#6
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Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Bumping around the Caribbean
Boat: Valiant 40
Posts: 4,625
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Re: Dating Locals While Cruising
Quote:
Originally Posted by KetoNomad
I was thinking about long term. Short term is easy me being such a studly stud lol
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You're here asking for advice on long-term relationships? What do you want to know? lol
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18-03-2017, 13:40
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#7
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Jolly ol' England at the moment
Boat: Albin Vega
Posts: 302
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Re: Dating Locals While Cruising
Quote:
Originally Posted by Suijin
You're here asking for advice on long-term relationships? What do you want to know? lol
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Not so much looking for advice
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18-03-2017, 14:07
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#9
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cruiser
Join Date: Jan 2017
Boat: Retired from CF
Posts: 13,317
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Re: Dating Locals While Cruising
I hope that last is a joke?
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18-03-2017, 14:13
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#10
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Jolly ol' England at the moment
Boat: Albin Vega
Posts: 302
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Re: Dating Locals While Cruising
Quote:
Originally Posted by boatman61
Long term could work if you plan on staying out there.. however I believe the US authorities frowns on its citizens getting hitched to foreigners..
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Fortunately, I am Canadian I think the Canadian gov't is slightly less of a PITA in that regard.
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18-03-2017, 14:41
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#11
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Senior Cruiser
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: PORTUGAL
Posts: 30,616
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Re: Dating Locals While Cruising
Quote:
Originally Posted by KetoNomad
Fortunately, I am Canadian I think the Canadian gov't is slightly less of a PITA in that regard.
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Sorted..
__________________
You can't beat a people up (for 75yrs+) and have them say..
"I Love You.. ". Murray Roman.
Yet the 'useful idiots' still dance to the beat of the drums.
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18-03-2017, 15:30
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#12
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Registered User
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Caribbean
Boat: IT40 Motorsailer. 40'
Posts: 226
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Re: Dating Locals While Cruising
Quote:
Originally Posted by KetoNomad
Ah Zee, I'd never do that. I always want to be able to see myself in the mirror and like what I see
I was thinking more about finding a long term companion to sail with.
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I'm so glad you wrote this.. It is very doable. I'm married to a wonderful little Dominicana and have been for the past 9 years. Be yourself, respectful of others, and you will be fine.. If you're ever in Anguilla or SXM, look me up..
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18-03-2017, 15:56
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#13
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Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: W Carib
Boat: Wildcat 35, Hobie 33
Posts: 13,485
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Re: Dating Locals While Cruising
Quote:
Originally Posted by JstaRebel
I'm so glad you wrote this.. It is very doable. I'm married to a wonderful little Dominicana and have been for the past 9 years. Be yourself, respectful of others, and you will be fine.. If you're ever in Anguilla or SXM, look me up..
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I think mutual cultural respect is the key. Ive seen a number of anglo foreigner males get involved with Caribbean/Latin women and develop what appear to be good healthy long term relationships/marriages.
Ive also seen things go very wrong in such "relationships" more often than not...I think a lot of what goes wrong is due to less than honorable intentions on either, or both, sides from the start.
One friend of mine married a local girl, built a house, adopted her kids...he was ecstatically happy...then the money ran out (financial planning was never his strong suit)...and she dropped him like a hot rock...he was crushed...very sad.
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18-03-2017, 16:02
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#14
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Seville London Eastbourne
Posts: 13,406
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Re: Dating Locals While Cruising
Quote:
Originally Posted by KetoNomad
Fortunately, I am Canadian I think the Canadian gov't is slightly less of a PITA in that regard.
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er.... no.
__________________
- Never test how deep the water is with both feet -
10% of conflicts are due to different opinions. 90% by the tone of voice.
Raise your words, not your voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.
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18-03-2017, 16:19
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#15
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Jolly ol' England at the moment
Boat: Albin Vega
Posts: 302
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Re: Dating Locals While Cruising
Quote:
Originally Posted by JstaRebel
I'm so glad you wrote this.. It is very doable. I'm married to a wonderful little Dominicana and have been for the past 9 years. Be yourself, respectful of others, and you will be fine.. If you're ever in Anguilla or SXM, look me up..
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I'm in Marigot as I type this, lol.
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