My vote of the 2 goes with the 42 DS purely for the
cockpit which is hopefully where you will spend your time ( you will need a good
Bimini ). If you are looking at the western
med your costs will be a lot less in a sub 12 meter
boat if you spend time in
marinas.
Regarding your lack of experience, I have to say are you sure about what you are planning? For the sake of your relationship a flotilla holiday might be a good start, and then see if you both like it. You will also need the skills to fix stuff or this enterprise will be expensive in terms not only of cash but time wasted waiting for so called professionals to turn up.
Regarding the
purchase of the boat, buy the best example you can afford , it will always be easier to sell on and will cause you less hassle in your
ownership. An average or tatty boat can only be
sold on
price,and there's plenty of them.
Good luck and fair winds!