[Bash]

...you wear out barbecue grills faster than running rigging
...you spend more time checking the amp meter than the knot log
...you get the news that Michael Jackson died over the morning net
...you truly don't want anything for Chistmas that won't install on a Kindle
...you define a good anchorage as one where you can get wifi
...your wallet contains more boat cards than business cards
...you consider the filling of 5 water tanks a full day's work
...the wife asks for a piece of scratch paper and you hand her 80 grit
...the only thing you do religiously on Sundays is motor to the pumpout facility
...you define an easy chore as one where you only had to pull out 3 tool bags
...you covet new solar panels more than new sails
...the first thing you do after setting the hook is check to see who you know in the anchorage
...you think that public flogging should be restored for absentee sailboat owners who allow their halyards to slat.