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OK, so your lack of sailing experience would cause me to take the side of your friends who are advising against a "big boat". I think a boat no larger than say 35 feet will provide you with the ability to live aboard comfortably and still be something that you should be able to handle by yourself, but only if you commit to some serious sailing and boat handling instruction.
In addition, I would advise you to postpone the addition of a watermaker and generator until after you have spent some time cruising. Because those are features that are needed only for long distance cruising IMO, not the kind of cruising you are likely to do for a few years. You could certainly keep those things in mind as you look at boats, in terms of looking for adequate space for installation in the future. But I think you will have your hands full looking after more basic systems like refrigeration pressure hot water, perhaps an electric windlass, the boats electrical system and of course the engine and rig, sails, etc.
On edit: I forgot my favorite recommendation.... try to find a boat equipped with a tiller instead of a wheel. A wheel on a 35 ft. or smaller is completely unnecessary, and whatever advantages it may have are well offset by the tiller's simplicity, relative lack of maintenance, lower cost, and the additional cockpit room especially when not underway.
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