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Old 25-10-2010, 11:38   #46
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I think it's more an issue of stability.

Women want the stability of a home.

Men could live in a camper, boat or a tent and be happy..

Just my opinion..
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Old 25-10-2010, 12:07   #47
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Two words: "Jessica Watson" I wonder how many men could handle sailing nights or for that matter days in the roaring forties alone ? Fear is not a gender specific trait. People, both male and female have different tollerances to different situations. The world is full of modern woman pushing the boundaries in what were traditionally male exclusive territories.
Doesn't count as she has something to prove AND IN THE PUBLIC EYE...
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Old 25-10-2010, 12:28   #48
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There are extremes in any population.

There are "wimpy" men and "fearless" women out there just like there are boneheaded males and terrifed women. The bulk of the population is somewhere in the middle. Most societies encourage risk-taking in males and retience in females so is it surprising if, in general, women are more risk averse than men? It is very hard to cast off your early upbringing. Most of us never manage it.

Personally, I like strong-minded, positive people and I don't care whether they are male or female. The one type of person I never involve myself with is the gloomy, pessimistic type who provides a black cloud for every silver lining you encounter.
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Old 25-10-2010, 12:30   #49
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There are extremes in any population.

There are "wimpy" men and "fearless" women out there just like there are boneheaded males and terrifed women. The bulk of the population is somewhere in the middle. Most societies encourage risk-taking in males and retience in females so is it surprising if, in general, women are more risk averse than men? It is very hard to cast off your early upbringing. Most of us never manage it.

Personally, I like strong-minded, positive people and I don't care whether they are male or female. The one type of person I never involve myself with is the gloomy, pessimistic type who provides a black cloud for every silver lining you encounter.

Well said
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Old 25-10-2010, 18:38   #50
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I do not see how the question relates to women in general.

Otherwise - why don't you ask your wife if she would try the following - you sail the open water passages, then she joins you and you coast together. Maybe after a while she will start to like it and later go on the crossings with you?

In any case I would never ever try to push the point and try something she is not comfortable with.

E.g. if anchoring / wind shifts / water depth are an issue - find a safe, very protected anchorage and spend a week there - she might get used to.

E.g. if approaching new locations is an issue - do a lot of pre-planning, visualising, use Pilots, charts, pictures, etc. to 'get to know' the new places beforehand.

And so on and so forth, one easy step at a time and no pushing.

And make sure YOU feel perfectly comfortable with whatever you are faced with when sailing - your wife and crew will get more confident when she knows you are comfortable and in control.

My two cents,
barnie
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Old 26-10-2010, 06:26   #51
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Hi to all of you again, it is really helpfull to read and think about your comments and yes you are right it was a mistake to mention fear and only women togehter, well noted that meanwhile.

we both just came back form a 4 days delivery tour of only 100 sm ( only day sailing) on the baltic with constant force 6-7 exactly up the nose,15 degree celcius and in the end we needed 150 or more miles to get the boat to the winter berth. we entered one harbour after darkness etc and damaged some pieces as usual. while listening to the radio we learnt about several distress calls, we saw a 44 feet bavaria with broken mast towed in by the coast guard etc. BUT we know the area, we sailed near land and actually my wife enjoyed the trip.........

even she used some new seasick medicine from china ( 100% ginger) and was fine.

wunderfull season end for us.

during discussing it seems that during the 4 weeks holiday several points come together:
new boat, no real time to relax after finishing he stressing job as a schoolteacher, sailing every day and into new areas especially the swedisch archipelage where you cruise between 100 of rocks and small islands, not enough time at the beach.....

and also i guess a little bit the thoughts about the future and that we might be able to sell the house and go sailing for some years..... up to now this was just the typical winter dreaming but now we have at least the boat which is capable to do so.

to unicorn dream: you are right this is also a importnat issue, i am on the way to throw away old stuff, but my wife still collecting ( typical behavoiour, men went hunting and women run the cave and collecting herbs, fruits etc )

Next year we will take it more easy, i will buy a nice tender to explore nice anchorages, we will "actually try to make vacation and not a boat and skill testing exercise etc etc.

I gues mainly my fault, typically big mouth man behaviour.......

Carsten from Hamburg Germany
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Old 18-11-2010, 11:34   #52
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Wow Carsten! That sounds like it was quite a delivery! Glad it went well and also glad to hear that your wife enjoyed the trip too! Sounds like you have one sound boat!

It is a good thing you had time to talk too. The fact that you had such a jam packed holiday with so many experiences in such a short period of time can certainly color someone's outlook as well...

Take care and hope to hear about more of your adventures!!!
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Old 18-11-2010, 12:04   #53
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unicorn Dreams View Post
I think it's more an issue of stability.

Women want the stability of a home.

Men could live in a camper, boat or a tent and be happy..

Just my opinion..
sorry, i been asleep-- this seems to have gotten by me--- i live in san diego and i worked 130 mile from my boat. i drove one way and stayed in my camper van for 4 days then drove home after my 4th shift as an rn in an emergency room in lost angeles down town . camper was more comfortable than a resident on call room , to which i had access...
when i am home i live on a boat on a mooring.
i am female.
i ENJOY my lifestyle. no amenities in my moorage. just that which is in my boat and a parking lot
men like to TAKE CARE OF the "little woman" and many dont know what she is actually capable of nor of that in which "the little woman" is interested. maybe she likes the sea even more than you do. she may turn out to be quite the winch wench......
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Old 18-11-2010, 12:57   #54
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You tell 'em zeehag!

I have lived in a 27 foot rv, camped a lot in a tent on the Appalachian trail, and hopefully soon will call a boat my home...have found the freedom w/o a giant mortgage a lot more secure feeling than having a house...
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Old 26-11-2010, 07:50   #55
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The best part of life is experiencing all of life....new experiences & adventures as well as old favorites..... shared together...at least for for me, that being said...I approach doing those new things...being and feeling prepared....and confident...in myself, my partner and the boat.


learning is huge for me....the internet...other people's experiences...ect dissipate those fears that creep up....and I think everyone experiences fear from time to time....in every aspect of life

be patient with her....help her to feel confident....in herself and her abilities, in you...and the boat.

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as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever

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