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Old 16-03-2008, 01:36   #16
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Hi everyone, I haven't posted much, just joined, but I have really enjoyed all the good advice being given. My husband and I are hopefully getting ready to start living our "dream". Hubby has always been smitten by sailing, although I think I can count on one hand the # of times he's gone out, and all those were without me. You know, BM (before marrige). We are selling our home, and are arranging to purchase a 38ft Heritage Custom, in need of work, most definitly! But the downpour of disapproval from our friends and family have been mind-boggeling! We got our Open Water diver cert. 2 years ago, and all our kids are grown and gone. We are still pretty young (49, but don't tell anyone, lol) and they all think we're crazy!! I would like some advice on how to shut them up, once and for all!! Just call me "Determined"!
I would introduce the grand kids to "Incontenance",It's a game all grandparents can play on the whole family line.Suddenly,everyone,wants to leave you alone.Being the matriarc of the family opens up a whole lot of reasons that you can use to your outcome.Or,ya could tell them to Pis# off and mind thier own P&Q's.Mudnut.
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Old 16-03-2008, 06:16   #17
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But the downpour of disapproval from our friends and family have been mind-boggeling! .................and they all think we're crazy!! I would like some advice on how to shut them up, once and for all!! Just call me "Determined"!
As it sounds like you may be tied to the shore for a little while more yet, my advice would be not to confuse unsupportive freinds and family (why are these often seperate categories ) with too much information about your plans or the timing - naysayers can be depressing and have a tendency to seize on any small thing or setback to reinforce their opinions......FWIW I would not say you are definately going to sail off into the Wide Blue Yonder forever, just that you are going to try and set off for a few months extended holiday, at an unspecified date in the future - easier for other folk to digest / cope with..........and it may end up true - because of your choice.

All the best.
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Old 16-03-2008, 06:36   #18
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Hey thank you everyone, I do like the "Postcard" idea!! I can't wait to be able to do what you are all doing, and many congrats on the new boat Mark and Nicolle. I guess you really can't live for everyone else, and no matter how hard it is, it's time to live for us! *sticks tongue out at "friends"* Hey, here's to blue skies and smooth sailing to you Mark and Nicolle!
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Old 16-03-2008, 06:59   #19
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You can't make anyone understand...it is unfortunate but true. For whatever reason, and there are as many reasons as there are people, some will just never get it.
For years it caused hard feeling amongst some family...they were struggling, deep in debt, and unhappy. Although their problems were of their own doing, it was easier for them to resent us than to listen to what was happening in our world...it was evidentaly more rewarding for them to commiserate amongst each other than to talk to us.
It was sort of a learning curve for everyone...we learned that the perception held by many was that ours was now suddenly a perfect life. Looking back to our emails, letters, pictures, and blogs they were all sunshine and roses...we were talking about perfect sails, dinghy outings, the wonderful people we met...we felt blessed and were thrilled with our new lives - only we forgot that no one else had moved on with us. Suddenly when we started talking about the hardships, breakdowns, and frustrations their attitudes changed. We were real people again.
In our experience, gloating and telling them about the best of the best moments only backfired. A bit of humility (and having them one by one come and stay with out on the hook somewhere for a week) helped them to come around.
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Old 16-03-2008, 07:25   #20
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I'm so dysfuctional socially, never had any friends, so it didn't come up and I love being out at sea-even if I do get seasick
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Old 16-03-2008, 08:46   #21
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The solution is to live in the cold north where we currently have three feet of snow on the ground. When I tell people I am building a boat to head south to beaches, palm trees and sunshine, they are all very supportive and a lot ask if they could go too. Many northern Vermonters head south for a week or two of vacation this time of year to break up the long winter, so they understand the motivation. In fact, I have a long and growing list of people who have asked to be invited for a week or two of sailing once I get underway.

Hey Mark and Nicolle, congrats, no hard feelings here, just temporary envy. St Maarten on a sailboat while I look out at snow and mud? Best of luck, sounds like you are just about there.
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Old 16-03-2008, 09:39   #22
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"Odd person on the block (or dock)" ?

one word----envy---

a way to get a particular person involved in your trip would be to ask them to be your contact in the States for communication....if you encounter a problem....you use them as your stateside contact.....If a piece of equipment needs to be shipped to you....they are the "go-to person" teaching them nuances of shipping to "yacht in transit".

One couple at my marina were tickeled to death to have a large chart in the marina office that they posted the daily log of the trip so others could see the progress.
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Old 20-03-2008, 04:38   #23
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Just remember one important rule;
IT'S YOUR LIFE, NOT THEIRS.
ENJOY IT..
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Old 20-03-2008, 05:17   #24
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My wife and I are both 53, we have been married for almost 34 years. We love each other and enjoy doing things together. I have been very successful in the "normal world" worked many, many hours, have four fantastic kids who are very successful in their own right. I have just given my notice at work, and we are leaving in the fall for the South, God willing. Bottom line, we have nothing to prove to anyone, we are getting the same reaction you are getting from many people....envy, distain, many people think we are down right crazy. However,I am very lucky in that my wife is very supportive, she wants to do this as much as I do.. Yes it is a little scary sometimes, selling our house, moving onto a boat... But we cant wait... So to you, good luck, dont let the naysayers get you down, and most of all have fun.
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Old 20-03-2008, 07:39   #25
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Hi everyone, I haven't posted much, just joined, but I have really enjoyed all the good advice being given. My husband and I are hopefully getting ready to start living our "dream". Hubby has always been smitten by sailing, although I think I can count on one hand the # of times he's gone out, and all those were without me. You know, BM (before marrige). We are selling our home, and are arranging to purchase a 38ft Heritage Custom, in need of work, most definitly! But the downpour of disapproval from our friends and family have been mind-boggeling! We got our Open Water diver cert. 2 years ago, and all our kids are grown and gone. We are still pretty young (49, but don't tell anyone, lol) and they all think we're crazy!! I would like some advice on how to shut them up, once and for all!! Just call me "Determined"!
You can't. Quit trying.. Just sail away...
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Old 20-03-2008, 08:35   #26
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Verses from two songs pop into my head. One is a song by John Pryne, "One day I'll call up Rudy/ We worked together at the factory/ "What's new?" " Nothing much how 'bout you"/ Nothing left to do." Then there is Jimmy Buffet's "I'm growing Older but not up" the final line goes something like this, "I'd rather die when I'm living then live while I'm dead."

You can change very few of these people's minds. Their self worth is based on their jobs their houses and their other possesions. Breaking out of that circle of entrenchment scares them. Share your ideas on your new life with those who understand and don't talk about it with those who don't. When people start to tell you you are doing the wrong thing agree with them and keep on doing what you are going to do.
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Old 20-03-2008, 08:58   #27
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Just tell them:

You only live once.
Unless you retire afloat.
What do they want you to do?

Then do it.
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Old 20-03-2008, 09:45   #28
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Who really are the crazy ones? Those sending the postcards from paradise or those receiving them doing the rat race?
There's my philosophy!!!
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Old 20-03-2008, 15:52   #29
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Their self worth is based on their jobs their houses and their other possessions. Breaking out of that circle of entrenchment scares them.
I am done with "The American Dream" too. I worked at it for a long time and now that I have it all, I don't like it. The wife is not there yet. Not too sure how much longer I can continue with the way things are..............having a really tough time.................trouble holding my thoughts/tongue...........trouble with everything..............ignoring chores...........couldn't care less about stuff................

Probably need more counseling and less CF time huh?
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Old 20-03-2008, 17:54   #30
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I am done with "The American Dream" too. I worked at it for a long

Probably need more counseling and less CF time huh?
Take two weeks off and go sailing. Less counseling and more sailing would be my precription.

BTW I am not a doctor and have never played one on TV.
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