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Old 29-06-2018, 00:22   #46
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Re: What Do You Desire? Are you living a life that you enjoy?

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What a crock of **** that Watts video is.
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Now there's a winning statement! Disagree by all means but how about some reasoning or at least an explanation to back up you "crock of ****" comment.
Why comment at all if your not going to attempt to explain enlighten us?
That's OK Dale,
the guy's on a sailing sabbatical, obviously trying to find himself and probably has a plugged head.....[emoji57]
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Old 29-06-2018, 01:07   #47
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Re: What Do You Desire? Are you living a life that you enjoy?

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That's OK Dale,
the guy's on a sailing sabbatical, obviously trying to find himself and probably has a plugged head.....[emoji57]
Well I’ll stand by my statement “crock of shit” ... if you need an explanation as to why a “self help video” on the way to enlightenment found on the Internet is just that then perhaps you need the video and can’t work it out for yourself. Reading your posts it seems however like you have managed to work it out for yourself and would of course realise that it is not a one size fits all solution.
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Old 29-06-2018, 01:43   #48
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Re: What Do You Desire? Are you living a life that you enjoy?

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Well I’ll stand by my statement “crock of shit” ... if you need an explanation as to why a “self help video” on the way to enlightenment found on the Internet is just that then perhaps you need the video and can’t work it out for yourself. Reading your posts it seems however like you have managed to work it out for yourself and would of course realise that it is not a one size fits all solution.
No one's claiming one size fits all. To be honest when I started down this cruising track 10 years ago I had no idea how it was going to work out, I wasn't in a financial position that guaranteed I could do it long term BUT by having the courage to pursue my desire I put my self in a position that forced me to think and find a way, guess what? it's worked out. If I waited for all the lights to be green I'd never of gone.

One of the great things about cruising is "time to think". Quite often when one is caught in the normal grind of kids, family and 9-5, one day just rolls into the next and before you know it times gone. Time to think, time to question, time to look at things a different way, time to be different isn't something many caught in "the creeping death of sameness" get to do.

A previous poster said something a long the lines of "not everyone can be a poet" and he's right absolutely! I'm so thankful I never knew that, I'm so thankful I believed I could be whatever I wanted to be, I'm so glad that I was delusional enough to pursue something different , if not I'd still be working under a greasy shitty hoist as a motor mechanic in the suburbs of Melbourne watching TV each night and mowing lawns on Saturday as I was 30 years ago! I'd be exactly the same as I was, just older and grumpier.

Do what everyone else does and you'll get what everyone else has.
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Old 29-06-2018, 04:00   #49
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Re: What Do You Desire? Are you living a life that you enjoy?

Yeah, I think the take away for me to his audio clip was that it would behoove us and our quality of life to focus on different metrics to determine value. Instead of grinding away at a life you are not pleased with, rather spend as much time as able doing what you really love.

To me this looks like less material things and societal norms and focusing more on time with family. Something along the lines of who at the end of their life thinks, wow I am sure glad I made that much money, had that many possessions, etc.. Rather, I would imagine people wish they had spent more time with those people they love, doing things they love.

So for me a rebalancing of priorities to make sure I spend more time with my family and loving on them. Sailing together, hiking, more meals, more camping, more singing at bed time, less missed birthdays, etc. Not necessarily anything else, so its nice to hear stories of folks here who made the changes I was thinking about and how it impacted them.
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Old 29-06-2018, 05:20   #50
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Re: What Do You Desire? Are you living a life that you enjoy?

Time is all we have. We must trade it to get the things we need to live. But how much do we really need … this is the question which confuses most people in our modern wealthy societies.

I shouldn’t really say “confuses.” From the day we’re born, to the day we die, our culture screams at all of us to always want more, More, MORE! The whole concept of ‘enough’ rarely enters into our social discussion. So it’s not so much people are confused about what they need; the message is clear: always want more.

The problem with “more” is that it never ends. So we’re all trained to start running as early as we can, and keep running till the end. The end used to be some sort of retirement nirvana that we all were supposed to strive for. But now even that phantasm has evaporated as too many of us are convinced they have to earn money till they drop.

So now we’re born, have a few short years of relative freedom, then it’s off to school, to post-sec, to get a good job, a career, a business, to get a big house, a big car (probably two or three at a time), a family, kids, kids education, retirment ... and all the while collecting more and more stuff along the way. And now we’re killing the biosphere of our planet as an added bonus.

It’s no wonder the self-storage industry is one of the fastest growing business sectors in most Western countries; we’re awash in all our stuff: https://www.bloomberg.com/view/artic...ing-here-s-why

All the self-help gurus and all the grand spiritual and moral traditions (including all religions) are picking at the same scab of this self-inflicted wound of ours. It’s why books written more than 2500 years ago are still relevant; the lasting one all get at some aspect how to lead the ‘good life.’

But like I said in my first remarks, this can only be the start. Life is really up to each of us. You’re not going to find wisdom or salvation or the Meaning of Life out there. It can only be found within. All we have to do is listen to ourselves — no books or vids are required.

But of course, listening to ourselves means being quiet, and still — exactly the kinds of things that we’re all trained NOT to do. But going cruising is one great way to open that door of self-contemplation and awareness.
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Old 29-06-2018, 05:37   #51
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Re: What Do You Desire? Are you living a life that you enjoy?

This is the best and most thought-provoking post on the Cruisers Forum that have ever read. I, personally, wrestle with this everyday. I am a critical care physician and work exclusively in the Intensive Care Unit. I have a daily, front row seat to the devastation and sadness of dreams and never realized and lives lost before their time. Many times, the stress and strain of Life causes a premature heart attack or stroke. Other times the stress and strain of Life leads to bad habits such as tobacco abuse, alcohol abuse, drug abuse which takes its toll not only on the patient but on their family as well.

Years ago, feeling exasperated by a corporate job, doing what she didn't love, my wife left her job in pharmaceutical sales to pursue yoga at a very high level. She now owns her own yoga studio and provides a wonderful service to the community. She finds joy in every day!

I on the other hand, fantasize about casting off the dock lines and cruising extensively, however we have three children in college, and two sets of elderly parents. For these reasons, casting off the lines and extended cruising have been put on hold.

We, just like another post, have a blended family and have been together since all of the children were very young. We have spent many years week long cruising on our sailboat or a charter boat in the BVI, St. Lucia, and Chesapeake Bay, or zip lining together, camping together, traveling together, and spending time at the family farm. I have always adjusted my work schedule so I was present for every school play, every school function, and every sporting event, dance, Etc. To that end I feel I have been very lucky.

It's a very interesting tension arc between duty and responsibility as a husband, father, son, and sailboat captain. The first three always outweigh the sailboat captain.
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Old 29-06-2018, 05:40   #52
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Re: What Do You Desire? Are you living a life that you enjoy?

WalDEN?

THE one who could not crop enough potatoes for self sustaining? That one? He gotta mobbing to the market for survival.

THE other one, wild in the Wilderness, He died
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Old 29-06-2018, 06:12   #53
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Re: What Do You Desire? Are you living a life that you enjoy?

I think this is something that we all struggle with, to a certain extent. When you are young and have time, you have no money. When you are old and have money, you have no time. I regret not having better equipment 20 years ago that would have helped preserve my body, but I couldn't afford it. Today, I have the best equipment money can buy, but my back hurts and my hands are weak, so the equipment doesn't see it's full potential.....But I'm ok with that. I used to go non stop, 7 days a week, and to achieve the goals we'd set, that's what it took. Now, if an old friend wants to stop in at 2:00 on a Tuesday, I'll have a few beers on ice and the work can wait. Dad stopped by last night, and we sat on the porch until midnight talking about all the great people that had been a part of our lives. I'm hungover and tired this morning, and really dreading the 100 degree heat index that's coming, but it was worth it for that few hours of good conversation. My wife pulled the same thing on me the night before, but that's what winds my clock these days.....Even if it hurts. Relationships are worth more than any amount of money, and I really hope that my family and I get to experience the cruising lifestyle soon, even if it's just a few months every winter.
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Old 29-06-2018, 06:40   #54
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Re: What Do You Desire? Are you living a life that you enjoy?

So true Mike. If we looked at time as a currency maybe more stuff wouldn't be so important.

Think of it this way, if your doing a job you dont like that pays $20/hour and you buy a cup of coffee for $5, you just spent 15 minutes of your life.

How many years of life did that new car cost? Would the years not working and being with the kids be more enjoyable than the life you spent paying for the new car when the old one was fine?

Its a catch 22,many purchase stuff they dont need purely to distract them from the life they dont like.
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Old 29-06-2018, 09:51   #55
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Re: What Do You Desire? Are you living a life that you enjoy?

"Desire" is such a double edged sword that as Fence Man illustrated so well, when tempered with Age, it can change its value.

This is my favourite Leonard Cohen Song, which is all about changing values and the realization that age has not made us wiser, but more aware of our limited perceptions.

Listen! But try not to jump out of any windows! [emoji4]

https://youtu.be/lNTFqSaFwyo
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Old 29-06-2018, 10:23   #56
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Re: What Do You Desire? Are you living a life that you enjoy?

this has been a very enjoyable discussion with lots of varied input. Thanks guys
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Old 29-06-2018, 11:13   #57
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Re: What Do You Desire? Are you living a life that you enjoy?

"What do you desire?" Then if you have it... "What do you desire?"
As we age and accomplish/achieve/acquire, our desires will change -- it is what it is (human).
Early on it's material, then come relationships, family, stability, health, spirituality... our legacy.
Just hoping that through all these we are guided by our values and our sense of responsibility.
Set high standards for yourself, and don't be too bothered with what others do.
Live a life where, as has been mentioned, you go to bed satisfied and you wake up eager.
In the end, it's a life well lived.
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Old 03-07-2018, 08:53   #58
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Re: What Do You Desire? Are you living a life that you enjoy?

What a great piece by Alan Watts! "What do I desire" is one of those koans that one can work with forever. Sailing is spiritual practice for me. Planning to cruise to the Bahamas from NE in fall '19 for my first extended cruise.

Steve A.
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Old 03-07-2018, 10:23   #59
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Re: What Do You Desire? Are you living a life that you enjoy?

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What a great piece by Alan Watts! "What do I desire" is one of those koans that one can work with forever. Sailing is spiritual practice for me. Planning to cruise to the Bahamas from NE in fall '19 for my first extended cruise.

Steve A.
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Steve,

That sounds like a fun trip, I wish you the best and hope to do the same soon. Were thinking our shallow draft boat might be perfect for some exploring down there.
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Old 06-07-2018, 13:10   #60
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Re: What Do You Desire? Are you living a life that you enjoy?

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I post this here because we are refitting our small boat right now for some short cruising. But I am thinking perhaps we need to just rent out the house, take off and be together and make do with less. Focus on the things of true value that really will give us satisfaction in life.

Not being gone months on end, not sending your kids off to daycare Monday through Friday. Investing in things we really love.

I look forward to some comments and I know lots of folks are a bit older than my wife and I here and we are looking to hear your feedback and what you would do differently and why?
From my own experience:

About 15 years ago, I found myself in a similar situation to you, wondering what I was doing and why. Against the advise of everyone, I sold the house, "dropped" everything, and went cruising on my Westsail 32 - essentially realizing a life-long dream. It was one of the best things I'd ever done in my life up to that point.

The MOST interesting thing I discovered was after I came back. While being gone for a year, I literally missed NOTHING. Life "back home" didn't change. 24-hour news cycle didn't stop. The daily grind continued on without me. The life I "left behind" was still there when I got back exactly as it was when I left. The only thing that changed was ME. I was shocked and it was an awful feeling to know how I had this wonderful experience and everyone else continued on with the status quo.

In the end, my biggest nay-sayers became my biggest fans. Others couldn't believe I would do such a thing. I began to realize that people have a very unrealistic idea of "security" and that idea keeps them from achieving what they truly want in life. Those that said it couldn't be done ultimately honored me for doing something they've always wanted to do, but never took the initiative - their initial negativity being more of a reflection of themselves rather than my ability to live the way I want. It's been a great life lesson.

So, if your real goal is to spend more quality time with your family (that is certainly a noble goal), then cruising is a fantastic way to go about it. There are other ways, also. You'll do more real living in a month of cruising than you do all year in your job. Like someone else pointed out, there is only the now. It is completely your choice as to what you do with it. If you want to go cruising, then make a plan and go. If not now, then when? If not you, then who?

Like they say in Jazz: There are no mistakes. Some choices are just better than others.
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