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Old 04-01-2010, 09:00   #121
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Some men are confused.
On one hand they are pleased a woman can get in the tight spaces they cant. Pleased she has the patience to read the instructions after hes given up and stormed off in a strop, pleased that shes got the balls to do things for herself and can be independant.
True, true, true and true...

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On the other hand, a man doesnt like to be seen letting a woman do any work. He wants to do the mucky jobs and lift the heavy things because its not a womans job. He wants to be the one who provides. He wants to be in charge.
Seems like a broad brush stroke here.

I'd be happy to sit around the deck drinking beer and let my SO do all the work - And she can definitely be in charge - LOL...

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In short, a man wants to be all things and yet share that role when other circumstances demand. It takes a good relationship to understand that dynamic without the need for constant discussion.

Two people are either suited to that or they arnt, and if they are, then a man and a woman both get what they want.
I think a modern relationship demands that couples share roles.

And certainly good relationships require excellent communication, real understanding and a true sharing of common goals and desires.

And unfortunately they don't always work out....
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Old 04-01-2010, 09:27   #122
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Broad brush?...more like an air sprayer.

I definitely do not seek to "be in charge". A partnership of equals, where our goals coincide and our individual skills balance each other out would be nice.

I really need to shut up now.
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Old 04-01-2010, 10:10   #123
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On a Philisophical note

The most important thing I love about the sea is that it clears your head of all the trappings land dwellers are conditioned to desire and allows a few simple truths to creep over the horizon to give you a steady heading.

Three basic truths:

  • If you look after your boat…. It will look after you.

  • Happiness far outweighs accomplishment or any other kind of bragging rights

  • If you think women are inferior…. odds are… you will end up with an inferior woman.

I can’t say what other men want in their boat, in their life or in their wife, but whatever potential you find in those areas, it always requires the synergy of following those basic truths.


In other words… To be content you must understand the content of those basic truths
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Old 05-01-2010, 14:28   #124
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Some men are confused.
On one hand they are pleased a woman can get in the tight spaces they cant. Pleased she has the patience to read the instructions after hes given up and stormed off in a strop, pleased that shes got the balls to do things for herself and can be independant.

On the other hand, a man doesnt like to be seen letting a woman do any work. He wants to do the mucky jobs and lift the heavy things because its not a womans job. He wants to be the one who provides. He wants to be in charge.

In short, a man wants to be all things and yet share that role when other circumstances demand. It takes a good relationship to understand that dynamic without the need for constant discussion.

Two people are either suited to that or they arnt, and if they are, then a man and a woman both get what they want.
I may be confused, but in my experience, it is women who are looking for a "prince." Men do not actively seek that role. Most men would rather put their feet up and relax with a cold beer.
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Old 05-01-2010, 15:02   #125
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On the other hand, a man doesnt like to be seen letting a woman do any work. He wants to do the mucky jobs and lift the heavy things because its not a womans job. He wants to be the one who provides. He wants to be in charge.
Um. Cough.

Really?

Well, what do I know.
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Old 05-01-2010, 15:13   #126
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In my opinion Iv got it all figured out my self...yep!....and I think we have a perfect relationship and am in perfect harmony with my wife....what more could I ask for as a man?........................................well maybe I could ask for one thing.

don't ask her opinion about it OK........It will pop my bubble Im quite sure..
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Old 05-01-2010, 15:18   #127
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I've often thought the what most determines whether a man and a women get along is largely a function of whether each person's internal definition of what constitutes a 'relationship' is more or less congruent with the other person's definition.

If the concepts differ, it ain't gonna work, like ships passing in the night. And all the chemistry in the world can't fix that. The concepts have to align or the relationship is doomed.

And it is precisely because each individual man and each individual woman is so unique and may hold such different views on what constitues a relationshiop, it is sometimes hard to get these things aligned. I mean the odds are not with you because the potential for difference is huge, and then you have 'chemistry' mucking up and misdirecting things so that the eye is taken off the ball.

In other words, things we hold most dear and are most obvious to each of us, are the things so taken for granted that they become invisible for purposes of conversation or discovery.

And this is why sometimes friends and family can see from the beginning that a relationship is doomed, long term, but the parties thereto are blind to the eventual failure.
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Old 05-01-2010, 18:28   #128
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Regardless of how you feel about her Dr. Laura Schlessinger (a radio psychobabble personality) wrote two books worth reading.

10 stupid things men do to mess up their lives
10 stupid things women do to mess up their lives

I identified at least 4 things I do.

Top of my list is Stupid Chivalry - the pathological need to rescue damsels in distress.

Done incorrectly it can establish all kinds of bad habits in a relationship.

For those who want the cliff notes version click here --- > Stupid things
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Old 05-01-2010, 18:49   #129
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Regardless of how you feel about her Dr. Laura Schlessinger (a radio psychobabble personality) wrote two books worth reading.

10 stupid things men do to mess up their lives
10 stupid things women do to mess up their lives

I identified at least 4 things I do.

Top of my list is Stupid Chivalry - the pathological need to rescue damsels in distress.

Done incorrectly it can establish all kinds of bad habits in a relationship.

For those who want the cliff notes version click here --- > Stupid things
So she seeks to change us and make money doing it?
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Old 05-01-2010, 23:43   #130
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Good food, good sex, and some peace & quiet. And to never be cold again!
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Old 06-01-2010, 00:30   #131
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good sex, and some peace & quiet.
Mutually exclusive. Aren't they? And I'm not being fraudian!


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Old 06-01-2010, 00:42   #132
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I was thinking of the peace & quiet for after.
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Old 06-01-2010, 01:36   #133
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Its good to see some positive debate here.
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Old 06-01-2010, 05:52   #134
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Top of my list is Stupid Chivalry - the pathological need to rescue damsels in distress.
YES! Been there done that. I will never take on a project relationship again. I have my boat if I want to fix something.
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Old 06-01-2010, 07:10   #135
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Personally after many years cruising with a variety of lady friends and occasional partners the Priorities seem to be....
1/ A boat that doesn't I Quote.. Go Tippy Tippy
2/ A Guy prepared to take their turn in the Galley.
3/ A Skipper/Husband who does not scream orders at them when anchoring making the lady look stupid ( Something I've witnessed in many anchorage's) when onlookers know that the Skippers at fault for poor tuition or bad boat handling.
4/ A Partner prepared to leave the Helm to her while he does the dirty heavy work up forward.
5/ A Partner who does not say "Jeez.. look at the tits on that"
6/ A Skipper who realises 'Women are Different'...
7/ Fellow crew members who 'vent the heads' the morning after the nite before.
8/ A Skipper who doesn't think he the sexiest thing since George Clooney
Maybe some ladies would care to comment... or maybe correct me...lol... so far its only Male response's
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