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Old 08-02-2012, 06:10   #106
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pirate Re: Very Funny Misconceptions ...

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Originally Posted by Talbot View Post
We would get a large number up on the upper deck to view the arctic circle!
Send them to the ships store for a Long Wait....
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Old 08-02-2012, 06:12   #107
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Re: Very Funny Misconceptions ...

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Originally Posted by hogfighter View Post
In the Navy, we would have fun with the Newbies....

We'd make them stand on the bow of an Aircraft Carrier, fully donned with a boat hook and life preserver, to stand the 'Mail Buoy Watch'. At night we'd give them a flashlight too. Amazing how long they would stand there, with the carrier doing 35 knots...

We'd also send them down to the galley to pick up about 50 feet of mess line.
Being in the Army, we did something similar to new guys. My field involves radios and direction finding. When getting a Line of Bearing is referred to a LOB. We sent new guys looking around for a box of LOBs all the time. Funny thing is one time, new guys went to a section asking around and a guy didn't know where to look so started helping them look. Took a while for them to get the joke.
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Old 08-02-2012, 06:12   #108
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Re: Very Funny Misconceptions ...

While once taking some tourists fishing, we were passing a local land mark, and she asked "does that rock go all the way to the bottom?"
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Old 08-02-2012, 07:15   #109
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Re: Very Funny Misconceptions ...

New Apprentices, send them to the store for a long weight,

Send them to the store for a struggle bar, Big one, Its a lenght of steel with a half round hoop in the middle for lifting heavy steel out of the furnace by two people,

To the Store for a Monday, 28 Lb sledge hammer,

Left hand sledge hammer, They do exist, I have made them,
Hammers in a hardware are central. either hand,

Blacksmith shop, Hammers are left or right handed, depending on the users whether they are right or left handed strikers,

Left hand tongs, They do exist,

6 foot left handed Shifting spanner, They do exist, Mongrels to use as they screw the wrong way,

Left handed screw driver, They do exist,

Striped paint, Duhhh.

The laughter was never ending, as they didnt know if it was B/S or not, Most times it was not. Hahahahaha

I was installing a set of curved steel stairs up to the second floor, The Engineer said, cant you start at the top and work down,

My Boss grabbed him and carted him off to the pub quickly, He could see the flames coming out of my eyes,

Where do they get them from, Duhhhh, Have another one about Theoretical Engineers,
But I will keep that for another time, Hahahaha
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Old 08-02-2012, 09:11   #110
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Re: Very Funny Misconceptions ...

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Originally Posted by hogfighter View Post
In the Navy, we would have fun with the Newbies....


We'd also send them down to the galley to pick up about 50 feet of mess line.
In the army (Canadian) it was the keys to the parade square.
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Old 08-02-2012, 09:51   #111
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Re: Very Funny Misconceptions ...

This thread.
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Old 08-02-2012, 10:37   #112
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Re: Very Funny Misconceptions ...

Sending a rookie to get "muffler bearings" from parts.
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Old 08-02-2012, 10:44   #113
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Re: Very Funny Misconceptions ...

Sending a rookie lifeguard to get keys for the oar locks on the rescue boats....a real fond memory, telling my little sister to smell the bottom of the pool
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Old 08-02-2012, 10:47   #114
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Re: Very Funny Misconceptions ...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr B View Post
New Apprentices, send them to the store for a long weight,

Send them to the store for a struggle bar, Big one, Its a lenght of steel with a half round hoop in the middle for lifting heavy steel out of the furnace by two people,

To the Store for a Monday, 28 Lb sledge hammer,

Left hand sledge hammer, They do exist, I have made them,
Hammers in a hardware are central. either hand,

Blacksmith shop, Hammers are left or right handed, depending on the users whether they are right or left handed strikers,

Left hand tongs, They do exist,

6 foot left handed Shifting spanner, They do exist, Mongrels to use as they screw the wrong way,

Left handed screw driver, They do exist,

Striped paint, Duhhh.

The laughter was never ending, as they didnt know if it was B/S or not, Most times it was not. Hahahahaha

I was installing a set of curved steel stairs up to the second floor, The Engineer said, cant you start at the top and work down,

My Boss grabbed him and carted him off to the pub quickly, He could see the flames coming out of my eyes,

Where do they get them from, Duhhhh, Have another one about Theoretical Engineers,
But I will keep that for another time, Hahahaha
My current favorite is asking for metric pliers or metric crescent wrench. They are both on the shelf next to the metric screwdrivers.
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Old 08-02-2012, 14:49   #115
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Re: Very Funny Misconceptions ...

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My current favorite is asking for metric pliers or metric crescent wrench. They are both on the shelf next to the metric screwdrivers.
Now thats a good one, Hahahaha
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Old 08-02-2012, 15:00   #116
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pirate Re: Very Funny Misconceptions ...

Telling the Junior Seaman to report to the WRN Officer for Muff Diving duty..

PS: Womens Royal Navy.
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Old 09-02-2012, 20:15   #117
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Re: Very Funny Misconceptions ...

I once told a dear friend of mine's child that her mommy must have dropped her cause she had a crack in her behind. She looked at me with wide eyes as i said I didn't have a crack in my behind.
About eight months later her mom saw me and slugged me on the left shoulder. When I asked what that was for, she said that in church a few weeks ago her daughter asked aloud (as on a loud kid can do), "mommy you dropped me when I was a baby." Mom ask what? And she replied (in a loud voice) well I have a crack in my behind and the only way I could get that is if you dropped me.
I have yet to live that one down
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Old 09-02-2012, 20:42   #118
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Re: Very Funny Misconceptions ...

As a 14 year old US senate Paige we often brought drinks onto the floor of the senate. I once brought orange juice out in a clear glass to the senate floor. OOOps. Colored drinks have to be in non clear containers because they are not allowed on the senate floor. I was punished. I had to sit behind the chambers looking at a glass of orange juice for hours. Meanwhile in the eagle room the room that is one more room beyond the chamber senators smoked and snored. Baffled I learned that my conceptions were wrong. The Ego is bigger then stated values.
I won a load of change playing poker in the basement of the capitol. If you ever visit the capitol and hear the Paige's pass with the clattering of change thats our poker money. You just would not believe what happens to these guys when power gets mixed into their privileged egos. Class warfare haaaaaaa
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Old 12-02-2012, 10:20   #119
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jmo64
Sending a rookie lifeguard to get keys for the oar locks on the rescue boats....a real fond memory, telling my little sister to smell the bottom of the pool
As the newbie mechanic in 1978 I was sent down to the hardware store for some flight line. The old codgers had phoned ahead and Ol' Bill sent me to a second store. I took off for the whole day, watched a movie, hung out and came back at 5:30.

"Sorry Homer. (seriously his name was Homer) I looked everywhere for flight line and couldn't find any. But I will drive up to Riverside tomorrow and look some more if you need me to."

Those guys were some masterful mechanics, though. WWII, Lockheed, Douglas, Boeing. The real deal.
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Old 08-05-2012, 20:35   #120
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Re: Very Funny Misconceptions ...

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Originally Posted by Sailor g View Post
I remember as a child listening to an Elvis Presley song (So you don't think me old-I was a very precocious child speaking at only months old Maybe younger!). The farmer's daughter girl in me heard the words:

"I ain't nothin' but a hound dog
Riding on a cow" 

I even saw the image of it in my mind. Guess I knew more about cows than crying all the time. Still makes me giggle to hear the song!
I grew up in farm country and, for whatever reason, my child mind thought that all cattle and dogs were boys and all horses and cats were girls. I remember excitedly telling my Dad when I realized how wrong I'd been...and seeing the look of disappointed dismay on his farmer face. I think he and Ma still underestimate my intelligence as I'm still awaiting my Sex Talk.
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