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Old 11-12-2014, 02:51   #16
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Re: Sharing Cruising Plans With Family and Friends

Kids gone by the time we headed out - actually put them in the USMC -

But they were raised to think for themselves. They grew up rock climbing, spending time in the backcountry and learning to make good decisions and what risk taking was all about.

As for your family, i would simply ask whose life is it? Yours or your families. Who is in charge of your family? You or your and her parents?

This may be harsh and i will probably get critized for this but you have to live your life or someplace down the line you will regret it and there may always be some resentment toward others that you did not do what you wanted to do and not what your family wanted to do.
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Old 11-12-2014, 06:35   #17
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Re: Sharing Cruising Plans With Family and Friends

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I'm basically going to abandon our Daughter in her first yr of college. Wife has made me promise we won't leave the US for the first yr. I told her the Bahamas is almost the US isn't it? My plan is a Sat phone, I figure we could get from the Bahamas to US Southeast by flight in a hurry if needed, but I do worry about her, she is not very mature for her age at all. But, Hell, I went off to Military school at the ripe old age of 13 and I survived.
My parents passed several years ago, my wife's, well I haven't asked their opinion, but being retired military we have been gone overseas for years at a time anyway.
As my wife's Father's health declines I can see that as a potential problem, one I will have to deal with, I assume she will leave the boat to be with him, but I won't, I'll attend a funeral though of course.
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Kids gone by the time we headed out - actually put them in the USMC -

But they were raised to think for themselves. They grew up rock climbing, spending time in the backcountry and learning to make good decisions and what risk taking was all about.

As for your family, i would simply ask whose life is it? Yours or your families. Who is in charge of your family? You or your and her parents?

This may be harsh and i will probably get critized for this but you have to live your life or someplace down the line you will regret it and there may always be some resentment toward others that you did not do what you wanted to do and not what your family wanted to do.
So right.
For one, the single thing I see most lacking in young people today is any kind of self sufficiency. The sooner they learn that, the better. I was cut off by my parents when I was 19 and put myself through college and it was the best thing they ever did for me.

Second, you're right. The Bahamas isn't Bora Bora. You are a short plane ride back to the US (or even a few days boat ride back).

We have become a nation of enablers towards our children (and with the best intentions, for sure). But, as long as we make decisions for them, subsidize them, and clean up any messes they make, they won't move forward as adults. It may make us feel good to keep them as a ward into their thirties, but it's not the way to get them where they need to be to make it on their own in this world.

I'm with you guys on this one.
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Old 11-12-2014, 06:48   #18
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Re: Sharing Cruising Plans With Family and Friends

From reading your posts, I gather you'll be spending the first year in the carribean? Almost no matter where you are in the carribean, you can be back in the US within 24 hours.

This is comparable to moving from the east to the west coast.

This is (your) family's decision. One of hte advantages of you cruising is that your respective parents etc can come visit you in something resembling paradise. It might pay to stress this aspect.

Or you can wait until everyone dies off and all the kids have moved away.

We're going next year - wish we had done it earlier.
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Old 11-12-2014, 07:54   #19
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Re: Sharing Cruising Plans With Family and Friends

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Originally Posted by a64pilot View Post
I'm basically going to abandon our Daughter in her first yr of college.
We are going to do about the same thing, hopefully if investments pan out. I just hope our youngest isn't like our oldest. Our oldest daughter went from a strong, independent, never-at-home Senior in high school to a very needed Freshman in college just 60 minutes away.

I've already told my family of our plans. My parents know they are on their own, and going to a home if the time comes, if they make it to that age. They are full blown baby boomers, growing up in the 60's, and have partied hard their entire lives, and they know I'm not sticking around to take care of them if they won't even take care of themselves.

The kids can't wait to come visit, so they are all excited. Not sure if they are aware that I won't be paying for their airfare to the boat every time they want to come visit... lol.

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Old 11-12-2014, 07:56   #20
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Re: Sharing Cruising Plans With Family and Friends

Just tell them - its your life and you are going to live it how you want to live it. They can either accept it or not.

Our plan is a bit further out (2-3 years at most) and I've already let my parents know. I knew they would think we're crazy, cause they already think that, but they didn't object to it as I thought. I had sort of mentioned it quite a while back (prior to my wife being pregnant) and I just reiterated it a month or so ago and said "You know I was serious when I said we were going to live aboard and we're still going to do that". They responded with "We know". But our plan differs a little in that we will be living in Vermont (2nd home right now) for the winter months and cruise the other 7-8 months each year.

I think what actually concerned them more was the fact that we've been tossing around ideas and one of them was to move to VT full time soon. I'd keep working, my wife wouldn't and in the end after selling our current primary home we'd be at least even financially or slightly better with fewer expenses. My parents would just hate to have us move right after having their first grand child! I think we'll give it at least a year anyway..

Bottom line though, just be up front and be prepared for their response, whatever it may be.
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Old 11-12-2014, 08:29   #21
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Re: Sharing Cruising Plans With Family and Friends

i had to return to phx (gag) to be with momma and dad and remaining sibs when my brother got dead-- momma was happy to be able to give me the long awaited hug bye bye-- she knows if needed i am available, yet independent, a si should be, especially at my age..lol.
she seemes relieved and more willing for me to go out of her control zone, as it were---we keep contact on facebook, and on my website, and is good.
she likes my pix, and my sister says i need to freshen my picture collection, as she is tired of all 8000 pix already.
i think the level of individual independence as well as attitude of famiy left behind while we travel and enjoy life is a large determining factor in our disappearance from their sight and resultant enjoyment of our individual cruising.
i am very glad (and fortunate) that momma and dad believed in making the 4 of us kids independent of them as we grew, and encouraged our antics(me and sports car racing work, and disappearing into the mist in a sailboat).
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Old 15-12-2014, 15:07   #22
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Re: Sharing Cruising Plans With Family and Friends

We leave in three and a half months and are sailing from Seattle 3,700 miles to the Marquesas in the South Pacific - with our two young daughters, ages 8 and 6.

Everyone we have told has had a negative response, even if they try and hide it. I let my parents know several years ago this was "a plan," but I don't think it has helped them accept it any easier. I think the only positive response we've had was from a check-out girl in the supermarket who wanted to come along. But I don't think she meant it either....!

My wife's family thinks we're patently crazy but they never go anywhere or do anything other than an occasional visit to a casino. Not sure they will ever get it.

So it's time to live our lives the way we see fit. Listening to others I never would have even learned to sail and would probably be flipping burgers at MCDs now.

Don't listen to the negativity and the nay-sayers, many of whom would be happier if you were miserable -> it makes a more favorable comparison to their lives, I'm afraid.

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Old 15-12-2014, 22:49   #23
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Re: Sharing Cruising Plans With Family and Friends

I been getting the same story from my grown children when I moved away on my own.After along marriage to their father. I like use the same sentence my teenager used on me, "get a life mom". I tell my children if I don't answer my calls right away, it's because I got a life! No need to be concerned, I am just fine.


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