Sexist Views...

[svmariane]

Sexism? Just so and can only change with time, experience, and as culture(s) evolve. And as folk die off and get replaced.

So. Examples:

1) We dropped anchored at Cabo San Lucas BCS and my wife went ashore for the clearing in process.(Respectful attire: Knee length summer dress w/short sleeves, leather shoes.) Came back and over a beer related her story.

My wife was up at the Port Captain's office. Did the paperwork thing with a young lady at her desk. Up to the counter for "final" approval and the guy there wants to know why wife is doing this and not the husband. From her desk - and in a loud voice - the secretary (?) calls out across the room:

"SHE'S the CAPTAIN!"

Stated that on the crew list if he'd taken a gander. And how/why did he assume that she was married? (My wife doesn't wear rings.)

2) Niue. Custom's guy doesn't like our clearance papers from Bora Bora. Argues with my wife - then turns to ME to get things straight but I defer to her. He makes it clear that he does not like nor want to discuss things with a woman. Stand off. The next day folk from another boat have the same problem with their Bora Bora papers. Turns out Niue may not like it, but Bora Bora doesn't give a flyin' fig and will issue what they deem necessary. So. Come check out time and the Custom's guy issues paperwork clearly stating MY name as Captain. My wife was still fuming about that half-way to Tonga.

I can't understand why it is that some men can't seem to wrap their minds around the concept that my wife is the captain.

The above events are not atypical experiences with us, and my dearly loved partner flat out refuses to wear a dorky ball-cap with scrambled eggs on the bill and "CAPTAIN" embroidered across the front. And you know... She's probably right, as it wouldn't really work or open up a closed mind.

James

[vayacondios]

Interesting thread! I've been cruising for over 10 years and I'm the one with the experience. My hubby is new to sailing. Yet when we talk boats just about anywhere guys will look right at him and ask him questions as if I'm not even there. Other yachtie guys try and talk navigation with him yet he is directionally challenged. He's come a long way but I find it funny. I have found that "old salts" don't do this it's usually younger guys that have the misconception.
I have had inflated quotes for things here in Australia because of my US accent. Same job quoted to an Aussie friend was a better price, but that was only a couple of times.

[Jim Cate]

Originally Posted by svmariane

James

Edit: Sorry about the double entry. Slow internet caused me to run out of time, cannot delete the first entry, and didn't even know it had posted as I'd "thought" I'd only hit preview. Call me a dinosaur. 2nd entry added more info.

James, when you do something like this, just hit the little red triangle symbol on the lower left of the page, and report it to the mods. They will deal with it!

Cheers,

Jim

[Teknav]

About a year ago, a Saudi Prince was about to fly his jet to the US for a private business. He informed the FAA in advance that there should NOT be any female air traffic controllers talking to the pilots of his jet; requested only men. The FAA responded by saying that US laws prohibit discrimination among the sexes...If women controllers are active/on duty when the jet is entering US airspace, the pilots must communicate with them. It went back and forth...the Saudis insisting that only male controllers should communicate with the pilots...as far as I know...when the jet finally entered US airspace, a woman controller issued initial radar contact instructions, then was followed by male controllers' instructions until the jet landed.

I have been flying planes since the 70's. Air traffic controllers, irrespective of their gender, have always been professional in their communications/conduct. I have never ever had any issues with any of them, including the ones while on international flights.

Mauritz

[LoveMyWoodie]

Originally Posted by DiverChick71

Now I am curious as to why this would be. As an RN for almost 20 years...I love my male colleagues. Discrimination, no. Harrassment...perhaps! But I never had one complain! (KIDDING!!! I don't want to be accused of wanting it both ways again!

But my partner is also a male nurse, and I think his experience has been completely different also.

one of my very good friends from grade school was a flight attendant for Air Canada...on his death bed we gave him a book and wrote on the first page...

This storm will pass and the sun will shine....

He smiled and said I wish I was born a woman....so being a flight attendant( which he loved and saved many in a plane crash where the DC 8 door was not attached by a ramp rat)......would have been easier and I wouldn't be dieing of prostate cancer......he made us laugh at the stupidy and sadness of sexism.

Personally -IMHO- this wonderful world would be much better if, lead by women....they are our hearts and the most important humans in the world....because they have a skill men will never have.

Cheers to women and love and babies.

No sexism or racism on my boat

[ty.gregory]

When I was 20 years old I worked for the county helping to educate teenage pregnant girls on programs the system offered. I was the only male this program had ever hired.

These girls wouldn't talk to me, they wouldn't look at me--many broke into tears when I came through the door. I don't know what this proves, other than I was in the wrong line of work...

[LoveMyWoodie]

Originally Posted by Teknav

About a year ago, a Saudi Prince was about to fly his jet to the US for a private business. He informed the FAA in advance that there should NOT be any female air traffic controllers talking to the pilots of his jet; requested only men. The FAA responded by saying that US laws prohibit discrimination among the sexes...If women controllers are active/on duty when the jet is entering US airspace, the pilots must communicate with them. It went back and forth...the Saudis insisting that only male controllers should communicate with the pilots...as far as I know...when the jet finally entered US airspace, a woman controller issued initial radar contact instructions, then was followed by male controllers' instructions until the jet landed.

I have been flying planes since the 70's. Air traffic controllers, irrespective of their gender, have always been professional in their communications/conduct. I have never ever had any issues with any of them, including the ones while on international flights.

Mauritz

I fly to privately and the women at YTZ were much easier to understand on the old analogue radios and they commanded more attention as we all followed around on our touch and goes....man she was drop dead gorgeous and we all wanted to carry her bags and the men all hated her -cause we loved her-and we kept our in cockpit murmers to a minium -just in case she was calling our tail feathers....great gal with all of our safety First in her mind.Even told the fool who fell off the end of 26 outbound ....don't watch the nude beach ...your nose is overloaded with scuba gear!....yep he drowned it...all survived.

Great thread full of truth the world needs to confront before we all fall off the world runways.Cheers and tanks for the heart felt loves and true truths!!!

[Therapy]

Originally Posted by jongleur

When checking in and out of Mexican ports,
my partner always went in to do so. She's
(very) tall and blond and the men staffing
the offices treated her (very) well. We never
had any of the problems we heard about from other
cruisers.

It's a case where sexism can be used to one's
advantage. (appropriate emoticon here)

Interesting to use it and also defend against it.

Originally Posted by zeehag

i was appreciative of my male rn friends at jobs--was a lot easier to get heavy work done with yáll helping.

Same-same.

Originally Posted by LoveMyWoodie

Personally -IMHO- this wonderful world would be much better if, lead by women....they are our hearts and the most important humans in the world....because they have a skill men will never have.

Cheers to women and love and babies.

No sexism or racism on my boat

Would that be a skill or a set?

While I do judge people by what they "produce" on an individual level I also know a bit about physiology. There are differences inside the brain as well as the chest wall..........and err......other places.

While there are a few that are storming that barricade and changing into something they are not, but feel they are, most are simply governed by genetics. And perfectly happy to live their lives there.

I also feel there is a certain bit of hypocrisy here in many posts.

Maybe it is all the dad's fault (probably) that they did not refuse their wives the shopping with their daughters and forced them into the garage instead.

[Teknav]

Male Obstetricians/Gynecologists are facing a reduction in the amount of patients they are seeing. This field was dominated by men for a very long time. Nowadays, more women are in the field than men. It is understandable that women feel more at ease talking with women Ob/Gyn, than men Ob/Gyn. A gender should not be a factor in seeking any kind of medical advice; reality is different though.

Mauritz

[DiverChick71]

Originally Posted by vayacondios

Interesting thread! I've been cruising for over 10 years and I'm the one with the experience. My hubby is new to sailing. Yet when we talk boats just about anywhere guys will look right at him and ask him questions as if I'm not even there. Other yachtie guys try and talk navigation with him yet he is directionally challenged. He's come a long way but I find it funny. I have found that "old salts" don't do this it's usually younger guys that have the misconception. I have had inflated quotes for things here in Australia because of my US accent. Same job quoted to an Aussie friend was a better price, but that was only a couple of times.

Awesome. My boyfriend is directionally challenged also! I'm a "north at the light" person when giving directions. He's a total "landmarks" person. "Left at the Shell station." ?! THAT isn't going to help us when were hundreds of miles offshore, huh?? Maybe that's a guy thing. (Oops...sexist remark!!! ) I was taking sailing classes in the SF Bay Area and was tired of our instructor's yelling. After about the fifth time of him using a landmark for navigation and yelling at me, I yelled back "I'm not a $&:$ing local and have no clue what the &:@(Ing PALACE OF ARTS IS!!" I got yelled at a little less after that. (Little less.)

Fortunately my bf is REALLY good at weather. Me, not so much. :-) We'd have been blasted many times in Florida if he hasn't known when to run for cover.

[Tellie]

Ok, I had to think for a while to come up with a sexism story like everybody else. I almost forgot it because frankly things like that I really could care less about. But as I was talking to Mrs. Tellie she reminded me of a personal one I had to deal with that I forgot about. Not just one incident but an ongoing one for over three years. When I closed out my electrical business years ago my daughter was still in grade school. I had some rental real estate and my wifes job was doing well. So I decided to become Mr. Mom for a while. I got involved in my daughters school and after school activities. The best three years I've ever spent and I recommend it to all Dads. But back then I was the only Dad or male involved in the school and it wasn't as popular as it seems to be becoming now. But I was the target of sexism all the time, from the "Look" from the mother dominated arena, to suspicion of a male around little children making sure there was always a female present when I was in a class room or in an area where there might be access to children. I was appreciated when the fence needed to be fixed, the roof leaked, electrical problems occured or lifting heavy boxes was needed. I never got invited to the fund raising cup cake baking sessions at a mothers house, or was my input needed when decorating the rooms for holiday occasions. I was asked all the time what I did for a living and how I had all this time to spend at my daughters school and functions. When what they were really asking is why wasn't I out working and leave the women dominated arena to the mothers. I could make a list a mile long of many other things that I dealt with because of my gender. Those were the best three plus years I ever invested in my daughters life. So in reconsideration of the question as to whether women understand sexism, I say of course they do, they can take part in it just as much as they claim men do.

[dohenyboy]

I was at an outboard shop last month. A nice lady was working the cash register (daughter of the owner). No one else there but me. An older gentlemen came in, looking for help on his outboard. Seems the motorized tilt was acting up. She told him when the mechanic would be in and asked for the symptoms so she could give a message.
She then expertly diagnosed the problems and told him step by step how to troubleshoot
He proposed marriage (in jest of course)

I think you are being too sensitive.
Those who serve the customer generally try to help. That means making assumptions sometime about the customer. Most of the time these assumptions are correct. With you they are not. if you make a joke out of it, you will make a friend.

[dohenyboy]

About female sexism/sterotypes, how about this?
I am a dad and had custody of my daughters years ago. Now they are grown up
A number of parents would not let their children play with my daughters at the house, on the advice of a very prominent Christian minister, that " you cannot be too careful.. a single dad could be a child molester."
it would be easy to get defensive and react saying something like, hey sorry I did not ask to be a hero. But I thought better of it.

[s/v Beth]

I am an old white guy.
For years I tried to open the door, be polite, even stand up when a woman entered the room. Now I don't treat them any different than anyone else. My wife, and my old friends that appreciate it, I do everything I can for. The rest I just ignore, like all the guys out there. If they want part of this dog eat dog world, they are welcome to it. Exception: when a little old lady gets on the train or the bus and can't find a seat, she gets mine. I guess I am still sexist.

[Wraith_Mac]

Re. Posts 86, 88.
I can relate closely to those posts, thanks for posting.
Re. post 87:
True story and serious proposal.
When engaged to my now wife, [my second marriage, her first] a dear friend and ex business partner called around.
He was recently divorced from a strictly blue and pink job demarcation, long fingernail type of woman. While she would decorate his boats, she would in no way work on them.
This as we all know is a pain when an extra pair of hands would be welcome, it's also often lonely.
He had met Kath and knew she could drive a boat but didn't know her and her parent's 'dirty little secret'.
The farmers had taught their very feminine little girl how to be a mechanic!! The deviates. They had reasoned if she wanted a car she had to know how to fix it.
Wayne enters my garage, sees Kath up to her elbows in a VW engine installing pistons while I was sitting down cracking a beer.
He literally dropped to one knee and done his best to get her to renounce me, go for the younger, richer, more handsome [2/3 true] him. It was hilarious.
When his proposal was [thankfully] declined with a wave of an oil covered hand and the courteous 'suck it up princess' look he almost wept but a couple of cold ones later
order was restored.
He is now the proud godfather to our firstborn but still chastises Kath's parents for having only one daughter. He has been known to attend farmers' markets, Hmmm?
While still recovering from a fairly serious car accident [tree 1.. car 0] she can't go on a boat or do much mechanical work ATM but she still 'supervises' and passes the tools, for that we're very grateful.
Delaying setting sail isn't such a big deal in the scheme of things.
Cheers,
Mac