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Old 04-06-2014, 19:39   #256
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pirate Re: Sexist Views...

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Originally Posted by Ann T. Cate View Post
Equal rights under the law is where we should be at. And there are some fields wherein women earn equal pay for equal work, too. Yes, there are oppressive lingering attitudes in societies. But where equal opportunities exist, those who are best suited for occupations can get there. Obviously this is not true world wide, and what I think of as progress is slow.

The country in which you do encounter sexism while cruising will partially determine how you deal with it. Here's a little story about a woman being on the wrong end of sexism while coming through the Suez Canal a few years back. Some time after they began, the assistant pilot kept touching the skipper's wife's breasts. She did not want/like it, and he wouldn't leave off when asked. Here they are in a foreign country, with two male strangers aboard. They have some sort of business contract. How would you handle the situation as a man? as a woman? Especially if you had not anticipated this kind of problem in advance, and so had a plan in mind.

.......................She barricaded herself alone in the owner's cabin for the whole transit.
I have often wondered how we would have handled that situation.

Ann
How was she dressed.. modestly as per local custom.. or in Western provocative mode (in their eyes)
Its common knowledge in the Middle East and the Indian sub Continent all Western women are sex mad and grab every chance they can.. they see it all the time in Hollywood movies.. and Goa's a well known 'sex holiday' for the white gals..
Remember one of the times I was out in Karachi and a Dutch lady was out visiting my brother.. we had to walk one pace ahead and either side to run block on all the guys as we moved through Bhoori Bazaar.. she learnt her lesson from that tho' and wore loose high necked tops and covered her head after that..
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Old 04-06-2014, 19:51   #257
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Re: Sexist Views...

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A short riddle. Very few get it....... including women........ Given the subject of this thread, i suspect you all will of course, but try telling it to someone and see if they get it.

A father and son are driving along a highway in a car. They have an accident. The father is killed outright. The son is rushed to hospital. He is lying on the operating table. The surgeon pulls back the sheet, sees his face and says 'Oh my God, my son!'

Who is the surgeon?
There are multiple answers to this one....

The surgeon could be the son's mother or father.

The father that was killed could have been a priest, the dead father could have been the father of the son but the son had two dads, and thirdly, the surgeon was the boy's mother.



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Old 05-06-2014, 06:10   #258
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Re: Sexist Views...

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Lets not forget that many women went down with the titanic also.
Pah! No equality in numbers of those that survived.
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Old 05-06-2014, 15:43   #259
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Re: Sexist Views...

Boatie,

I don't know what she was wearing. She always dressed modestly when I saw her, not one of the Americans who wore tank tops and shorts in Fiji, but tops that covered her upper arms and skirts to a little lower than mid-calf. I would imagine she would have been covered up, but don't know. She was, however, extremely well endowed, which may have been the driving force.

Ann
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Old 05-06-2014, 16:00   #260
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Re: Sexist Views...

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Boatie,

I don't know what she was wearing. She always dressed modestly when I saw her, not one of the Americans who wore tank tops and shorts in Fiji, but tops that covered her upper arms and skirts to a little lower than mid-calf. I would imagine she would have been covered up, but don't know. She was, however, extremely well endowed, which may have been the driving force.

Ann
Wifey B: Oops....
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Old 05-06-2014, 16:20   #261
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Re: Sexist Views...

In the mid 70's my husband and I were working at a police department in Florida. He was a police officer and I was a dispatcher. We were just starting to get our first female officers and I remember the uproar. A few (very few) men didn't have a problem with it, but many of them were fit to be tied. They just knew that having to depend on a woman for back up was going to get them all killed. Their fears never materialized and today those thoughts and feelings, for most, are pretty obsolete. Or at least not expressed as openly.

I have to say though that it has been a long time since I have had any kind of negative experience involving sexism that has made any impression on me. But then, it may just be that I have reached the age where I don't really give two craps. There is no perfect world where everyone is going to love and accept you, regardless of your gender, nationality, sexuality, religion, politics, color. There is always going to be a reason for someone, somewhere not to like you. If it isn't your sex, it will be something else. If I get a bad vibe from someone I just move on.

I like to build things so I have hobbies that at one time would have probably been considered male oriented but for the most part I meet with respect from most people I deal with, male and female. I think in large part it is because I always give respect up front, try to be courteous and polite, and assume the best about people. Then if they let me down, that's on them....I'm outta there.
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Old 05-06-2014, 16:24   #262
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Re: Sexist Views...

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But then, it may just be that I have reached the age where I don't really give two craps.
It is always better to get it out in one.

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Old 05-06-2014, 17:07   #263
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Re: Sexist Views...

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I have to say though that it has been a long time since I have had any kind of negative experience involving sexism that has made any impression on me. But then, it may just be that I have reached the age where I don't really give two craps. There is no perfect world where everyone is going to love and accept you, regardless of your gender, nationality, sexuality, religion, politics, color. There is always going to be a reason for someone, somewhere not to like you. If it isn't your sex, it will be something else. If I get a bad vibe from someone I just move on.
Wifey B: Part of life is choosing who you spend your time around. You're probably choosing good people and good places to be. We don't have problems with bigoted friends because we don't have bigoted friends. If someone is just casually a bit sexist around me because they come from a different time and place, no big deal. If they are blatantly sexist to an extreme point then I just tell them what I think and move on.

Where it's a problem is when it's employment and progress has been made there. As females, if we show them by performance, that's how they learn. Gradually they see things differently.

It also depends on where I am and what I'm wearing. If I'm wearing a skimpy bikini then I expect people to look, even accept comments. Just no touching or too bad. If I'm a teacher in a meeting with a parent, dressed conservatively, then I'd be bothered and stifle any comment. I did have a father start laughing and didn't want to tell me why but I talked him into it. His son had just as kids do described me and some of the description crossed his mind. He apologized, but I wasn't offended. An six year old's description is funny.

Life is too short to live it p....ed off.
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Old 06-06-2014, 00:32   #264
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Re: Sexist Views...

Something tells me I'm gonna take some $h!T for this, but what the hell ~

I just noticed something tonight and this thread seemed like the perfect place for it:

Why is it when women are posting as available to crew, the subject line nearly always reads "Female Looking to Crew" - Shouldn't the post just say "Looking to Crew" and then list qualifications and other specifics and possibly gender in the body of the message? Hmm...
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Old 06-06-2014, 00:59   #265
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Re: Sexist Views...

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Something tells me I'm gonna take some $h!T for this, but what the hell ~

I just noticed something tonight and this thread seemed like the perfect place for it:

Why is it when women are posting as available to crew, the subject line nearly always reads "Female Looking to Crew" - Shouldn't the post just say "Looking to Crew" and then list qualifications and other specifics and possibly gender in the body of the message? Hmm...
It probably is relevant for them to include in their message but you have a point about the subject line. When it's "single female with no experience looking to crew" they're going to get a lot of responses from "single male looking for open minded female crew."

One needs to be very careful in messages that they don't come across more like personal ads than crew ads. And even more they need to be careful screening any and all potential offers. There can be nothing worse than to find yourself in the wrong situation far stuck on a boat with someone far from home.

If anyone thinks I'm overreacting just talk to a group of stews or go to a site like dockwalk and ask and these incidents are on larger boats with more crew members and guests. When choosing to crew or to take crew with you, consider it the same as taking a stranger as a roommate far from home with no return ticket or money to buy one.

I just checked the first three pages of crew available. Six times subject said "Female" to one time for it reading "Male."

I can appreciate very valid reasons for advising up front male or female, I just wouldn't lead with that.
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Old 06-06-2014, 11:50   #266
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Re: Sexist Views...

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I've never felt that it was odd that I've had the same female primary care physician for the last twenty years, but then nobody has ever told me, "Don't worry your sweet little head about it."
My Proctologist is female...I wouldn't have it any other way...
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Old 06-06-2014, 13:48   #267
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Re: Sexist Views...

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Originally Posted by Ann T. Cate View Post
................. not one of the Americans who wore tank tops and shorts in Fiji, but tops that covered her upper arms and skirts to a little lower than mid-calf. ...............
It's true that Americans dress more casually than much of the rest of the world and this does seem to add to misunderstandings and cultural bias. Most American women that I know would claim it to be a sexist offense if the choice of their clothing were to be restricted or that the choices of their dress were to be evaluated as a statement of their behavior. It would be very sexist and bias of me to assume some negative trait about the women topless on the French beaches or a Middle-Eastern woman in a birka.

There's a never ending potential for bias and sexism. You'll notice that my unbiased comment about having a female physician is used above as a springboard for some silly proctologist joke. Many times, the very people that profess to be without bias practice it unaware.
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Old 06-06-2014, 14:27   #268
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Re: Sexist Views...

I believe everyone really are sexist, just like everyone is racist and profilers. Doesn't make them bad people, makes them human. I question anyone who tries to say that they aren't!

BTW - if you add what kind of boat and anchor you own to the mix all bets are on
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Old 06-06-2014, 16:04   #269
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Re: Sexist Views...

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I believe everyone really are sexist, just like everyone is racist and profilers. Doesn't make them bad people, makes them human. I question anyone who tries to say that they aren't!

BTW - if you add what kind of boat and anchor you own to the mix all bets are on

Oh I just can't let this go...

Lets see I've had Filipino, Asian, middle eastern and African American friends, as well as Serbian, German and french and lots O others too. Gee I was an air force brat and grew up in integrated neighborhoods on air force bases all over the place. People are people.

I don't have to be sexist to recognize sexist behavior.
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Old 06-06-2014, 16:35   #270
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Re: Sexist Views...

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It's true that Americans dress more casually than much of the rest of the world and this does seem to add to misunderstandings and cultural bias. Most American women that I know would claim it to be a sexist offense if the choice of their clothing were to be restricted or that the choices of their dress were to be evaluated as a statement of their behavior. It would be very sexist and bias of me to assume some negative trait about the women topless on the French beaches or a Middle-Eastern woman in a birka.

There's a never ending potential for bias and sexism. You'll notice that my unbiased comment about having a female physician is used above as a springboard for some silly proctologist joke. Many times, the very people that profess to be without bias practice it unaware.
Wifey B: South Florida women dress much different than North Dakota. But then some of us do modify a bit to the situation. I certainly don't dress the same on South Beach that I did when I taught school. And if you go for a job interview in a large company dressed inappropriately, it does show your behavior but it does reflect your judgement for time and place. Woman comes to interview with executive wearing low cut top. He can't hire her regardless of skills. Everyone there is already talking about why he'd be hiring her. I wore a three piece suit with a tight vest to my first teaching interview. Wanted no distraction. That darn suit was painful.

If I'm on my boat in the Med I'm going to dress one way. But if I'm going to a Cathedral or Mosque, I'm not going to disrespect those who worship there.
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