Interesting. It's like any other bigotry or prejudice. Some are illegal, the others just stupid. We should treat everyone equally. I went into a field where I had to do everything I could to diminish my appearance, teaching. Primarily elementary. It was a shock to some of the teachers. I know how some of the older teachers talked about me. Blue eyed blonde big boobed bimbo. Sorry, that's the stereotype. Now what I did was just prove I was a heck of a teacher and as good as they come in reading instruction and programs. I taught out of love for the kids
but I also think finding a field that my looks would not only not help me but might be a detriment was important to me. Being judged completely not on my body.
My hubby and I own businesses and he also consults and I help him with all of it. The CEO and CFO of our companies are both very beautiful (ok, hot) females. They weren't hired because of that but were readily available to us because of prejudice. The CFO was asked to resign her previous job when a photo
of her from college emerged. She stripped to pay for her education. Nothing more. So we got one of the most brilliant girls you can imagine. In business sometimes others drastically underestimate them, especially in negotiations. It reminds me sometimes of playing poker. You get them looking at you instead of their cards and beat them. My hubby hired based on ability and he often ended up with employees who he knows others would have snapped up if not for their prejudice. He capitalized on the prejudice of others. His long time assistant was Jamaican. He had a lead project
accountant who was from India
. Oh, she only had two masters, one from each country and certified accountant in both. He even talked to the recruiter who told him she would have been hired for many jobs but employers would see her name and make up an excuse not to interview.
On the water
, I'm a licensed captain
just as my hubby is. But yes I can get more cooperation from marinas
, lockmasters, and bridge tenders, just by voice. They treat women better. They feel like, poor little girl, or something.
Guess I'm just saying "Sexism Exists." It's wrong, like all the other prejudices that make people fall for stereotypes. But I'm not ever letting it defeat me. I'll fight it, I'll overcome it. Car dealer took a sexist attitude when we were looking for my car. Hubby told him off, we went elsewhere. I try to just beat it by proving they're wrong. But if they want to be sexist, then I'll find a way to take advantage of it. I saw victims including my mother. The morning of my 16th birthday I decided I would not become a victim, would not be abused, and I ran away before daylight, never to see my parents again. I'm proud of my hubby and the fact we do fight abuse. We try to help kids
and abused women. We even support a program back in Charlotte NC that helps get hookers off the streets and rehabilitated.
The thing all of us need to do though is individually do our best not to be prejudiced and then stand up to those who are and tell them they're wrong. They'll deny any prejudice, any sexism. But maybe it will make them think. I remember sitting down with a very good long time teacher about a month after I started. I told her she prejudged me on the wrong things. I told her why I wanted to help kids read. She knew I was right and apologized. We became best friends. She became the best mentor I could have and I kept challenging her with new ideas.
To those victimized by sexism, you just can't let them when, don't let that get you down. Find a way. Prove them wrong. To any of you who have prejudged, rethink things please.
My hubby claims we're business equals but I know I don't know nearly as much about business as him. I do have street smarts though and sometimes that's needed. And one of the highlights of my life when we were on the phone
with the head
of one of the most respected investors in businesses, and the Chairman asked for my opinion. To know him, have played bridge with him in his house, be respected by him, was huge to this poor girl from the wrong side of the tracks (ok, my hometown was too small to have tracks, the entire town was the wrong side).
If you're not getting respect because of blatant sexism, find a way to earn it. But most of all.....and this I mean with all my heart.....do not ever....ever ever ever....let those who are sexist or bigoted take away any of your own self esteem. That's the way they can hurt you most if you let them. The worst abuse of kids or women or anyone is that which destroys self esteem.
Sorry, I got a bit emotional. I'm not sure I knew what intense feelings this subject would bring out. But then I'll say, I'm blessed. I'm the luckiest girl on this planet. I love life. I love people. God, I'm so freaking lucky.