add[QUOTE=Target9000;1353232]I am a southerner. I grew up around places that had no stop lights and I was raised by people that were what a lot of people might call traditional.
I open doors for ladies and I "ma'am" and "sir" people who are younger than I am!
Some people, especially women, will sometimes get this look of shock on their face when I say. It doesn't mean we think someone is old. It means we think they deserve respect. Its embarrassing to me when it just slips out and I realize I've hurt someone's feelings. I feel discourteous when I don't do it though. Problems of a child raised by conservatives living in a PC era.
A lot has been made of the disparity of treatment of the genders. But I often wonder more about the reason than the actual act. Does opening a door for a lady stem from some deep belief that women are inferior and they cannot open a door themselves? Or does it come from a traditional show of respect? Does having a different mental state about it even matter?
And finally, I believe stereotypes exist for a reason. The human mind is designed to pick out patterns. These patterns form a bias and this is a simple tool our minds used to protect us. If every time you saw a purple dog it bit you, then you'd probably have an aversion to purple dogs
. The same holds true in more mundane situations. If a salesperson found that nine out of ten men
she spoke to were ignorant about what she is selling, she'd probably get more inquisitive and preachy towards men. If she does this because she feels men are losers, then that is sad and it will probably come across in convo. If she does it to be helpful (using her natural ability to pattern match and infer) then should we call it sexism?
A lot of this stuff has gotten so muddled by the conflicting forces on either side of it. One one side you have the recent past in which women were ill treated and some vestiges remain. On the other side, you have the progressives pushing for a PC future and turning personal bias political. It makes for a very confusing middle.
[COLOR="Blue"]In the end I think we should just be respectful and loving to those that deserve it, be open to those we don't know, and simply let go of those that we shouldn't associate with. Giving some time to get to know someone may clear up the reasons behind some perceived "slight".[/COLOR=Blue
Basically, I agree with most of the above highlighted statement, but I'm not really sure that ignoring male chauvinism where it occurs is either kind or respectful to women. I do think that there are many women who are happy and successful in "pink" roles, and that there are some really nice men who like them just that way. But I also do think that a little pro-active education can be helpful. Or even outright confrontation. The Indian in Fiji
gentleman who tried to knock me off the sidewalk was not after that a gentleman in my estimation, it's a culture thing: they expect their women there to stay physically out of their way. I changed my sidewalk behavior after that, and "lurked", waiting for an opportunity for a little off-balancing of my own. In it's turn, a product of American feminist influence. But, fortunately for me, the situation did not arise again. However, as one leaves the U.S. and travels afield, one encounters men on all different ranges of the feminist scale from 0 -10, chauvinist to feminist. And, as a woman, I think it is helpful to realize that even if we think we are egalitarian, and totally OK, others may neither like that or respect it. To what extent do you want to value the culture you're visiting? you are the guest, but if some woman comes to your boat in the middle of the night, bruised, and bleeding, how are you going to handle the situation? We visit and change the cultures we visit. Change, sometimes threatening change, is inescapable in life, I suspect.
In all my cruising years so far, the one simple thing I did to become a human being rather than a grandmother, was to tie a bowline in a dock
line tossed to me by a catamaran
, and place it over the pile on the pier I was asked to. After that, the old White fisherman who had taken our line the day before and not put it where I asked, suddenly decided I was worthy of notice, a human being, as it were, and treated me like a person. I'm not knockinig men here.
I can tell a female chauvinist story or two. But this is a cruising forum and perhaps we should discuss chauvinism as it relates to cruisers.
All for tonight.