Seagypsy Woman Asks -

[Knottygirlz]

Originally Posted by Weaverani

I'm new to this forum and to using forums so bear with me!

My husband and I are in the process of getting our boat and ourselves ready to go cruising in a couple of years. Of course, new questions constantly pop up, and here is one for the women cruisers out there:

How do you manage your "period" and tampons and pads? They take up so much storage and the disposal must be tough.

Hi Weaverani, Welcome to the forum! It's nice to see more women joining. To answer your question, I find tampons are less bulky and easier to store. I would think that, depending on your cruising destination and plans, you would be able to resupply their stock at most provisioning points, so you wouldn't need to bring huge quantities with you.

Lori

[elf]

Glad to see this women-oriented thread! My husband and I are just getting into sailing rather late in life (compared to the old salts who grew up around boats). We took the US Sailing Learn to Sail class in Dec. 2004 and enjoyed it very much. Since then we haven't had a lot of opportunities to sail, but we did do some sailing in the BVI on 19-21' boats (and Hobie Cats), and most recently (Dec. 2006) on a Catalina 22 in Key Largo. Loved it! We spend a lot of time reading about sailing and trying to learn more vicariously, but we know we need a lot more boat time to really hone our cruising skills, so we want to get certified to bareboat charter (overnight), as that seems the next logical step.

To that end, we have just signed up for the ASA 103-104-114 (Basic Cruising, Bareboat Chartering, Catamaran Cruising) combined course in March and can't wait (though I'm terrified I'll screw up -- we'll be sailing on a 40' cat!) We hope to buy a smaller (30-36') cruising cat one day and sail the eastern seaboard, Bahamas, and maybe to the Carribbean eventually. I'm a little nervous about cruising since my skills are still in their infancy (as are my husband's!) but am excited to learn more about this interesting lifestyle. We love the sea, adventure, and boats excite us. We are planning to go to the Annapolis Boat Show this year (we also went in 2004, before we even took the first class).

Weaverani, welcome to the forum! I'm hoping to be done with periods by the time we cruise (I'll be 46 in April, and I doubt we'll cut the docklines before I'm 50), but Mother Nature may have other plans. I have wondered the same thing you asked!

Elf

[francie]

I started sailing/racing in my mid-thirties. Raced with my family (cousins, uncles, brothers, dad . . ) lots of yelling, trail by fire and cold Lake Michigan water over the bow. Close quarters, lots of guys, didn't even know that there was an "on" valve for water in the head.

After several years of this, I took both an off-shore and coastal cruising course for only women, with a woman Captain. This was fantastic. There were women on board who sailed with their husband or significant other and who felt they did not really know how to sail. Being with only women there is no tendancy to look for a guy to help you out (or in my case, grab the line from your hand and yell!) Nothing substitutes for time on the water, but these classes built confidence and skills for many women.

I currently work foredeck on a very competitive 45 ft. raceboat on Lake Michigan and have raced on several different boats since racing with my family in the early 80's. Several of our crew are women and are very skilled. Taking the courses I did early on corrected lots of errors in my early learning, just getting on a boat and going out with friends or family. Maybe that same learning can take place with both sexes in the same class, but too often women tend to retreat and men tend to move in when there is an unknown. (In the racing community, I don't think this holds as true, women are very much an equal part of many crews and can be as assertive/aggressive as men.)

My husband and I just bought a cruising boat and are transitioning from being racers to being cruisers. We had some issues early on when we cruised together, but have grown to respect our various areas of strength. We have found that the relationship you have on land is the same one you will have on the boat, but slightly more intense becasue of the condensed space. For us this works well, we are best friends and very similar in our temperment.

I agree with the other's that have mentioned that the experience needs to be positive for a person (male or female) to want to keep doing it. Taking the classes I did was a very positive experience for me, and moved me forward in my interest and investment in the sport.

[Knottygirlz]

Originally Posted by elf

We are planning to go to the Annapolis Boat Show this year (we also went in 2004, before we even took the first class).

Hi Elf,
Rick and I are talking about going to the trawler show at Annapolis next year if our boat is sold this summer. We are starting to build our next boat in the fall/winter 2008 so our current one is going on the market this spring. If it sells before our holidays we will go to Annapolis, if it doesn't then we are going cruising.

Originally Posted by elf

I'm hoping to be done with periods by the time we cruise (I'll be 46 in April, and I doubt we'll cut the docklines before I'm 50), but Mother Nature may have other plans.
Elf

I have the same hope but little faith that Mother Nature will do the right thing! LOL

Lori

[Weaverani]

Lori and Elf,
Thanks for the feedback, it's nice to become part of a community of like minded ladies.

My husband, Jack, has been my best sailing teacher: he knows that if he terrifies me, I'll never get back on the boat, so he keeps everything within, or just a winkle past, my comfort zone. What we are discovering, is that his comfort zones and mine frequently mesh anyway. I feel very lucky,...but then I would never have married the guy if he wasn't the type to want me on board with him anyway.
We too are reading everything we can lay our hands on(I'll bet he can quote Calder and Casey on anything at this point). Our 39 foot O'Day is 22 going on 23 years and needs everything updated or replaced, but basically she is a great boat. We got her last March, and after replacing the standing rigging, all thruhulls and other stuff, finally got her on the water for some great sails in the Naragansett Bay. We haven't yet ventured out of the bay beyond about a mile, so I have no idea if I'll like this long term cruising thing.

So next (wow, almost this!) summer, we plan to live aboard for several weeks. and hopefully make it to Block Island or Martha's Vineyard (the latter we have done twice in our 26 foot MacGregor with our sailing club. Check us out on our website: North East Trailer Sailors. Jack is the commodore of the club this year, but I think we are really co-commodores together.).

The thing that I am getting really interested in is how sailing folks communicate with one another (as in partners who sail together, how they communicate while aboard), as well as how sailing folks communicate with their non sailing families and friends about their sailing.

I am almost 50 , and have a ways to go before I don't need tampons or the like anymore. I've been using a special catch cup for the past couple of years, and thought this might interest other cruising ladies. Nothing to store or throw away, just wipe or rinse and reuse! It's very environmentally friendly, not to mention a lot more comfortable than tampons or pads. My husband assures me the blood won't mess up the head, or if we end up with a composting toilet(anyone else have ay experience with these?).

These are really messy topics, but they are a part of how we function, and I figure we can learn from one another by sharing our experience.

I think the thing that attracts me so much about cruising is living a simpler life, in a better climate than New England, as part of a community of fellow sailors.

And by the way, it is very empowering to be able to "drive" my 39 foot sailboat away from the dock and through the marina and up to our mooring. Next on my "to learn" list (not in any order of importance): Man overboard (so I can pick up the man in my life if he falls overboard!), weather, radio(more than just pushing the talk button), learning how the diesel behemoth works....

Weaverani

[Knottygirlz]

Originally Posted by francie

My husband and I just bought a cruising boat and are transitioning from being racers to being cruisers. We had some issues early on when we cruised together, but have grown to respect our various areas of strength. We have found that the relationship you have on land is the same one you will have on the boat, but slightly more intense becasue of the condensed space. For us this works well, we are best friends and very similar in our temperment.

Hi Francie

I agree with you whole-heartedly! Rick and I have a very strong relationship both on land and off....very intuitive. Often if one is thinking something and the other says it. This has been very handy on the boat! I think if we were vastly different (opposits being attracted) it would be much more difficult.

Lori

[elf]

Originally Posted by Weaverani

My husband, Jack, has been my best sailing teacher: he knows that if he terrifies me, I'll never get back on the boat, so he keeps everything within, or just a winkle past, my comfort zone. What we are discovering, is that his comfort zones and mine frequently mesh anyway. I feel very lucky,...but then I would never have married the guy if he wasn't the type to want me on board with him anyway.

It's great that your husband is already an experienced sailor. That's what we lack since we are both novices, but we are both eager pupils and really want to learn. I just wish one of us had years of experience -- then the task ahead of us wouldn't seem quite so daunting.

Originally Posted by Weaverani

The thing that I am getting really interested in is how sailing folks communicate with one another (as in partners who sail together, how they communicate while aboard), as well as how sailing folks communicate with their non sailing families and friends about their sailing.

I'm really counting on wi-fi internet, which can only get better before we are ready to cruise. If I don't have internet, I will feel very cut off. I guess that's a side effect of being in the computer biz myself and being used to being plugged in nearly all the time. I email so many people and don't want to lose my link to them; though I expect I'd do more blogging while cruising and fewer personal emails as I don't want to be tied to a computer all the time -- there are too many other interesting things to do!

Originally Posted by Weaverani

I am almost 50 , and have a ways to go before I don't need tampons or the like anymore. I've been using a special catch cup for the past couple of years, and thought this might interest other cruising ladies. Nothing to store or throw away, just wipe or rinse and reuse! It's very environmentally friendly, not to mention a lot more comfortable than tampons or pads. My husband assures me the blood won't mess up the head, or if we end up with a composting toilet(anyone else have ay experience with these?).

Oh, that's really good to know. I have a Diva Cup, which I use especially for hiking or biking, but wasn't sure it if would work with a head on a boat. That would certainly solve the tampon issue. Like I said, I'm hoping I will be past all that, but I know it's not a given....

Originally Posted by Weaverani

I think the thing that attracts me so much about cruising is living a simpler life, in a better climate than New England, as part of a community of fellow sailors.

Here, here! We like the simpler lifestyle concept too. And we like WARM weather. Even here in North Carolina, the winters are too darn cold for us. It's in the low 30s with freezing rain today. Ugh! I'd so much rather be in the islands in a bathing suit!

Cheers,
Elf

[Minitee]

Lori,

That's great that you have that you and your partner are totalling in sync... I know many couples who are two peas in a pod (but please don't dress in matching shirts ).

But my sailing buddy and I are very much opposites and I think this works just as well. He is very intuitive and easily conquers problems that take me much longer. On the other hand, I am very analytical and have things organized on the boat, making it convienent for everyone. He would take forever searching for a screwdriver... the boat would slow to snail's pace before I would trim the sails.

Since we've been buddies for some time, we enjoy our differences rather than loose patience. We laugh a lot at the simplest things (he's right handed, I'm left - we tie the lines backwards ). We delegate chores based on our strengths. That doesn't mean the other person doesn't know how to do something, it's just not his/her primary job. We also respect each other's "me" time, going to seperate cabins and not disturbing the off watch person unless an emergency comes up.

So don't think a couple must running side by side to crew a boat. There's no yelling, no upsets, just a total appreciation of what each member can (and can't) do!

Minny

[Weaverani]

Hey, Elf ,



(I still don't get how to use the quote option)


My husand doesn't have that much more sailing experience than I, we still consider ouselves both novices. But he often understands the forces at play better than I, so I'll defer to his better engineering knowledge. On the other hand, my intuition often is right on target (the wind just changed, we need to do something to the sails, e.g.), so he will listen to my input as well. There are times when it seems more daunting to me than to him, and vice versa, and so far we either alternate in that feeling, or if we both feel overwhelmed at the same time, we do something to try to calm down the situation and give ourselves time to figure out what we need to do to make things less stressful. Our mantra has become, "one step at a time": you can't cruise before you have seen what it's like to be on the open ocean in a situation where you can get back to safe harbor if you need. At least that is the way we are approaching it.




We are a bit cautious, but we want to do things so it's ultimately fun and within what we feel is our ability to keep safe .



I actually wasn't referring to the electronics of communications. I was talking about how we talk to each other (yell, talk, signal) while on board. And how we manage to help family and friends understand this crazy undertaking , what it means to us and why we do it.
Diva Cup? Tell me about it?

Weaverani

[elf]

Originally Posted by Weaverani

My husand doesn't have that much more sailing experience than I, we still consider ouselves both novices. But he often understands the forces at play better than I, so I'll defer to his better engineering knowledge. On the other hand, my intuition often is right on target (the wind just changed, we need to do something to the sails, e.g.), so he will listen to my input as well.

That sounds perfect -- I think we're starting out that way in the limited number of sails we have gotten to take together. My DH is more logical than I and I am more intuitive than him, so I think we balance each other pretty well.

Originally Posted by Weaverani

I actually wasn't referring to the electronics of communications. I was talking about how we talk to each other (yell, talk, signal) while on board. And how we manage to help family and friends understand this crazy undertaking , what it means to us and why we do it.

Ah, gotcha. We haven't sailed on boats large enough to require signaling or (much) yelling, yet, but I have read over and over never to yell! I'm sure we'll probably break the "no yelling" rule when things get hairy, but I think a combination of talking (when possible) and signaling (when the wind/engine are too loud) are preferred.

As for explaining to others this crazy dream...yeah, that's a tough one. We haven't done too much of that yet since we don't even have our own boat yet, so we're keeping it low-key for now. We've told our family and friends about our lessons and sails, of course, and they think it's all very nice (even though very few really "get it"), but we haven't really sprung the cruising thing on them yet. We figure we'll wait until we are 100% sure we're going before we deal with that. I'm not really looking forward to their reaction (at least my mom's), but on the other hand, we have to live our lives as we see fit -- and follow our dreams. We can't live for anyone else. I am sure people who don't "get it" (like my mom who hates boats) may never understand no matter what we say. But hopefully our friends and family care about us enough to be supportive and to want us to be happy -- that's all we can really hope for, and anything else (like enthusiasm!) would be icing on the cake.

Originally Posted by Weaverani

Diva Cup? Tell me about it?

The DivaCup™
It's probably similar to what you have. "The Keeper" is another similar device.

As for quoting, just select "Quote" when you reply to a post, in the bottom right of the post you're replying to, instead of "Reply". That will put the entire post in one big quote. Breaking it up like I'm doing here is a bit more involved since you have to copy/paste each begin/end quote section. Hope that helps a little....

Cheers!
Elf

[Knottygirlz]

Originally Posted by Weaverani

(I still don't get how to use the quote option)

Hi Weaverani,
To quote something, just ensure the quote tags are at the beginning and at the end of the text you are quoting. For example, to quote you here, the text I wanted to quote had "[quote=Weaverani ] and then at the end of the quote the tage was [ /quote ] (I have intentionally left spaces in the tags for demonstration purposes. When you do this, do not put any spaces between the square brackets and the text) These 'tags' come up automatically when you chose the quote options and you just need to edit the text in between to hone in on the part of the message you want to quote.

Originally Posted by Weaverani

Diva Cup? Tell me about it?

I would like to hear more as well. Interestingly enough, I got censored at another forum - a women's forum, no less for posing the same question you asked here.

Lori

[Knottygirlz]

Originally Posted by Minitee

Lori,

That's great that you have that you and your partner are totalling in sync... I know many couples who are two peas in a pod (but please don't dress in matching shirts ).

Well I wouldn't say we are totally in sinc just in the way we think most of the time....but we do balance each other....when I am cranky and being unreasonable he is my voice of reason and vise versa...although he would never admit that! I'm always cold, he is always hot and on and on.....rest assured we do not have matching shirts....well we do have matching jackets, does that count?

Lori

[knottybuoyz]

Originally Posted by Knottygirlz

rest assured we do not have matching shirts....well we do have matching jackets, does that count?

She wears my clothes all the time! It's hard explaining the funny bumps in my sweaters to my co-workers lemme tell ya!

[Weaverani]

Originally Posted by Knottygirlz

I would like to hear more as well. Interestingly enough, I got censored at another forum - a women's forum, no less for posing the same question you asked here.

Lori

Ok,Lori, let me give this quote thing a try. Hope I don't get censored here, after all we're talking about how to manage a normal bodily function.

I have been using a Keeper for about 3 years, and Elf just mentioned the Diva Cup. They are essentially the same thing. Mine happens to be rubber, hers silicone , and now Keepers come in a silicone style as well, known as the Moon Cup.

The idea is this: a longish narrow cup inserted in a way similar to a diaphragm, which catches the menstrual flow. You need only remove it a few times in 24 hours for emptying, either wiping or rinsing each time , and re-inserting.

I like that I am not using so much paper/tampons, etc, it's environmentally friendly. I also find it much less of an irritant than a tampon, allowing my natural fluids to flow instead of being absorbed and drying me out. On a boat, it will be extremely useful because I won't have to store and dispose of tampons and pads. Or pollute the environment.

Too bad some people are squeamish about talking about this. As a sailor, I think we need to be more responsible about our natural environment, and this is just one more way I can do my part.
Another way I will be doing my part is by switching from paper napkins and towels to cloth. As a weaver, I've decided to use this as my next project, with each napkin having it's own design so each napkin user can identify his/her napkin . They can easily be washed and hung to dry, and each person will decide when it's time to change to a clean one (unless my teenage son forgets to notice...).

If anyone is interested in purchasing info, I'd be happy to help.

My next challenge: how to train my dog to use some sort of tray while under way! I've seen some wild pictures of a dog perched over a head...!

Weaverani

[Weaverani]

[quote=francie]After several years of this, I took both an off-shore and coastal cruising course for only women, with a woman Captain. This was fantastic. There were women on board who sailed with their husband or significant other and who felt they did not really know how to sail. Being with only women there is no tendancy to look for a guy to help you out (or in my case, grab the line from your hand and yell!) Nothing substitutes for time on the water, but these classes built confidence and skills for many women.

Francie, hi,

My husband and I were thinking that we should try having someone come on board our boat to teach us both at the same time, and that way we both know what the other knows . I too have thought of going to a women's only course. Any recommendations?
Weaverani