Sailing Women Don't Have Issues

[flysci]

I agree - well said Jedi.

Margo

[Velma]

Ok so I used to be high mainenance previously in another life....pedi/mani/spa days/shopping/working what can I say. I've finally married a man who doesn't care if my nails aren't polished or that my hair is just wash and wear so things are different now. I can't wait to get out there and not have to pay $160 for a hair cut! HERE I COME SAILBOAT DREAM!

Proud to be a woman and loving it! Now put me on a sailboat!

Sorry but I'm just getting into these threads, I know they were probably put to rest years ago but I'm new ok and just having fun putting in my 2 cents worth..lol

Can't wait to join you all out there!
Velma

[SweetSerenity]

Originally Posted by Velma

Ok so I used to be high mainenance previously in another life....pedi/mani/spa days/shopping/working what can I say. I've finally married a man who doesn't care if my nails aren't polished or that my hair is just wash and wear so things are different now. I can't wait to get out there and not have to pay $160 for a hair cut! HERE I COME SAILBOAT DREAM!

Proud to be a woman and loving it! Now put me on a sailboat!

Sorry but I'm just getting into these threads, I know they were probably put to rest years ago but I'm new ok and just having fun putting in my 2 cents worth..lol

Can't wait to join you all out there!
Velma

Good for you!!!! enjoy!

[troppo]

Originally Posted by Velma

Ok so I used to be high mainenance previously in another life...a

I have found my priorities have changed now that I have got back into sailing. More surprising is that my wife who can't do much sailing due to disability has been the driving force to change our spending to make more available for sailing. If she could be, she would be on board though it is rough and ready. She don't mind as she enjoys being away from the city.

[zeehag]

margo--if some guys dont wanna sail with us because we come from someplace they have stereotyped and generalized and panned, then we donot need them. they are not open minded nor are they honest about it.
some folks just dont have a clue-- we only sail with gentlemen of manners and intelligence...... well... intellagunce?--uh,,err..uh, men.. of sense?? . comeon, guys-- sailorettes are sailorettes. doesnt matter from where we come. even if we come from high maintenanceville..
if ye can sail, ye can sail. then all is good. for the most part .

[hummingway]

Originally Posted by troppo

I have found my priorities have changed now that I have got back into sailing. More surprising is that my wife who can't do much sailing due to disability has been the driving force to change our spending to make more available for sailing. If she could be, she would be on board though it is rough and ready. She don't mind as she enjoys being away from the city.

Heros come in all forms I hope she gets to sail with you someday.

[zeehag]

troppo--i hope she gets to sail with you also--is difficult to have to be kept away from something due to disabilities...

[Butler]

The sailing is the thing.
After 3 years living aboard alone while dating I had gotten happily used to having pleny of space for things, everything in order all the time and responsibility for my own aesthetic. Now that C is aboard all of that is gone gone gone.
She has a huge transition to make and one that takes her from her own home into someone elses, a home that is much much smaller and less conveniant.
When we can go sailing it seems easy. If we are at the dock too much the fur can fly. Some of it may be gender some of it just people s#@$ but since I'm more used to it and am well over the same transition I get to let go and give ground.
The order is starting to return and it is starting to get less frustrating for both of us as the piles of stuff are given new homes and I loosen my hold on the aesthetic here.

Gender aside it's all about power really isn't it... finding the balance that suits us each while wrangling with cultural expectations and some blabbering know-it-all guy or fussy high maintenance woman ;~>

I wonder how it might be different a for woman skipper if and when the time comes to want a man aboard to live?
Will a man be overbearing trying to assert control in a way a woman won't?
Will it be tougher for a woman to give room were the above situation the other way around gender-wise? (as in "give 'em an inch and they take the mile")

blah blah blah

[zeehag]

"I wonder how it might be different a for woman skipper if and when the time comes to want a man aboard to live?
Will a man be overbearing trying to assert control in a way a woman won't?
Will it be tougher for a woman to give room were the above situation the other way around gender-wise? (as in "give 'em an inch and they take the mile")"


when i find out--i will post..... is a good question--havent had the opportunity to find out that answer as yet---

[troppo]

Originally Posted by Butler

. . . I wonder how it might be different a for woman skipper if and when the time comes to want a man aboard to live?
Will a man be overbearing trying to assert control in a way a woman won't?
Will it be tougher for a woman to give room were the above situation the other way around gender-wise? . . . .

I don't understand some blokes . . . and I am a bloke. Some blokes for whatever reason have problems if their lady friend can do something better than them. In my opinion the bloke should either get over it or go away. If a lady who is skippering a boat has a man start living aboard, then the man should respect the lady as skipper. If she starts having problems with him trying to control then I suggest she be very cautious on how long his invitation lasts. Mutual support in a relationship where each other is respected for who they are is more beneficial than a dictatorship. I reckon anyway.

[VirtualVagabond]

Originally Posted by Velma

Ok so I used to be high mainenance previously in another life....pedi/mani/spa days/shopping/working what can I say. I've finally married a man who doesn't care if my nails aren't polished or that my hair is just wash and wear so things are different now. I can't wait to get out there and not have to pay $160 for a hair cut! HERE I COME SAILBOAT DREAM!

Proud to be a woman and loving it....!

Velma

Good attitude... for a plan B

[Wotname]

Originally Posted by troppo

I don't understand some blokes . . . and I am a bloke. Some blokes for whatever reason have problems if their lady friend can do something better than them. In my opinion the bloke should either get over it or go away. If a lady who is skippering a boat has a man start living aboard, then the man should respect the lady as skipper. If she starts having problems with him trying to control then I suggest she be very cautious on how long his invitation lasts. Mutual support in a relationship where each other is respected for who they are is more beneficial than a dictatorship. I reckon anyway.

While I have to agree with your observations, I have experienced the opposite in that my previous sailing partner (female) had a real problem with herself if she couldn't do something as well as me - she would beat herself first and then me if she couldn't achieve the same skill level.

I was happy if she knew more, knew the same or knew less but she wasn't happy if she knew less

That aside, she was good to have on board, no matter what the weather, she would hand steer as long as I could keep passing up the food (well, within reason that is).

[David_Old_Jersey]

I guess some folks are way too competitive by nature, probably mostly blokes - but not exclusively. Probably take me a while to get comfortable with the Skipper's ability and also to work out my role. and whether that sits ok with me. but nothing gender specific on that.

Of course what women say they want and think they want is not always the same as what they actually want but I will leave that one to others to sort out

[troppo]

Originally Posted by David_Old_Jersey

I guess some folks are way too competitive by nature, probably mostly blokes - but not exclusively. Probably take me a while to get comfortable with the Skipper's ability and also to work out my role. and whether that sits ok with me. but nothing gender specific on that.

Of course what women say they want and think they want is not always the same as what they actually want but I will leave that one to others to sort out

In my opinion, sailing is about team work and if one member, either guy or gal, is constantly competing with other team members then it can be very uncomfortable. Wotname managed to work out how to collaborate with a previous partner who was competitive but long term, it can be easier if folks working together are collaborative not always competitive with each other.

I think it is a good point you made, David, about checking out the Skipper's ability and working out ya role. Very wise. Whether the Skipper is gal or guy, if they are doing a good job then I am happy to follow their direction. But along the way I gotta see some demonstration of their expertise before I relax. Not saying they have to "prove" themselves but just show capability due their position. I went out to the reefs with a fella in his powerboat recently. He is a nice bloke though the boat and gear seemed ancient and scary. However, when he did his check through, he was very professional and thorough such as ensuring extra fuel, starting battery charged and spare battery etc. When I saw his thoroughness I relaxed. Being Skipper is not a gender thing but a skill and experience thing.

One place I worked, a fellow worker confessed to me that she didn't think she would ever move up the ladder in the company, she kept being overlooked. She asked my advice and I said she needed to take a good look at herself. She was puzzled. I said, "You are young looking, tall, thin, attractive and have long long blond hair you wear down. You go along with the jokes about dizzy blonds and that is how management sees you, they overlook the fact that you quietly do a great job." She ended up leaving to complete a second degree but also thought seriously about managing the impressions she made on others. While the managers were generally very good, I did notice that at times they saw women stereotypically and so the organisation lost some rare talent. But then, the managers also overlooked a couple of very quiet guys who did amazing work so it wasn't just a women thing.

[perchance]

Originally Posted by mintyspilot

Oh yeah!!!! :-)







I agree.

In my case I need to get on with women, having a wife, daughters and a female cat and all their female friends who call round. My eldest girl's best friend stays here a couple of nights a week. We call her "spare daughter". I'm surprised I haven't started having periods myself. Everyone else in this house does The amount of oestrogen in the air round here must be exceeding EU safety levels.

Our bathroom's a joke. One bottle of "bloke" shampoo, some shaving soap and a brush and razor..... and 400 bottles of every soap and plant extract on the planet, wax strips, crushed apricot stones, the entire UK output of sponges, bath brushes, hair dye, hair bleach, "fruity" shampoos, conditioners - it's like a chemist shop rather then a bathroom.

I need to get to sea - to preserve my sanity. ArrrrrgggggghhhhhhhH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You ever notice that most of those bottles are less than half full and just keep on accumulating on every available ledge in the bathtub?