Sailing Women Don't Have Issues

[barnakiel]

Originally Posted by Weyalan

The best we can hope for in life is to find a partner who's issues we can tolerate, and who can tolerate our own. If there are compatibility problems, it will be harder to live at sea than on land.

I agree. Then again, I found that the longest lasting partnerships exist between people who:

- share values (not some philosophical stuff but more like what is and what is not important in life),

- have some common love (e.g. my mate is not all that creazy about sailing (she digs offshore work though), I am not all that crazy about gardening (I love eating strawberies though, but we BOTH are mad about winter trekking in high mountains).

I will tolerate any issues my partner has, provided she does not snore.

b.

[David_Old_Jersey]

FWIW I think "issues" collected along the way define us at least as much as anything else.........I reckon it's a good thing if you can love someone because of their shortcomings / issues, not inspite of them - because they are simply a part of what makes them them.

Having said that, if I can find one who wasn't dropped on her head at an early age. regularly .........then next time I will settle for that possibly

[Livia]

With regards to why this section of the forum is a bit dead, I can only speak for myself in saying that virtually none of the questions that I have about sailing, or cruising, or boat projects are woman specific.

I like the idea of having a community of sailing women, I support that idea but in reality I don't have anything to ask here.

[osirissail]

Originally Posted by Livia

With regards to why this section of the forum is a bit dead, I can only speak for myself in saying that virtually none of the questions that I have about sailing, or cruising, or boat projects are woman specific.
I like the idea of having a community of sailing women, I support that idea but in reality I don't have anything to ask here.

I agree with Livia - without some restraint from the male posters/lurkers most cruising women (and cruising women in training) will not post the questions they want to have answered. So you get the vapid comments and hollow replies. Which given the very nature of the internet is all that is realistically possible. Since there is no way to actually determine the gender of the person poster unless they wish to honestly reveal it, what we have is a worldwide "party-line" type telephone system with most just listening in quietly and the others posting comments of little or minimal significance.
- - SSCA holds a master GAM(their name for convention/meeting) each year in eastern Florida. Lots of seminars and presentations from experienced cruisers aimed at folks wanting to know what this life is all about. About a decade ago they started a "closed door" seminar for women living the cruising life and those wanting to know "the distaff" side of the life style. After a few years the seminar was packed with women - then - some men started sneaking into it to see what was so interesting that all the women wanted to be in there. The next year attendance was 1/4 of the previous years and the subjects lame and benign as women did not feel comfortable "opening up" in front of an audience of men. - - IMHO - Same here.

[Butler]

Maybe a set of gender-based forums here with agreed parameters estasblished to, as much as is possible in a public forum, give those women sailors who want it, some sort of safer spot here.
Realisticaly, it can only be so private and it would require an agreement from the boys to not post on that forum. I'd like to think that we could easily agree to that and honor such an agreement.
I think it could be something like:
1)Gender aboard.(open to all)
2)Woman in Charge
3)The Smoker
With the understanding that this can only be an honor system, it would be understood that anyone lurking needs to "stay out of the business", not posting in the women only/men only forums.
I am always interested in gender issues especially on board and am eternaly curious about how women view the world so I can tell you that I will be one of the lurkers and I can sympathise with my brothers regarding curiosity about what might be happening behind closed doors... it's only natural
THE DIFFERENCE is RESPECT in acting, or not on such curiosity.
Just a suggestion...

[Ocean Girl]

Pajamas parties and pillow fights..why? what do you guys do behind closed doors?

Frankly, I do the same things hanging out with my sailor girl friends that I do with my sailor guy friends...talk boats, anchors, destinations, favorite knots, provisioning tricks, wood care, compass corrections, and then there is sanitation projects...that can go all night.

[flysci]

Exactly, Ocean Girl. Though I save the [ajama parties and pillow fights for the men! LOL. I guess it's a security that comes with age, but I am not insecure about interacting with men, or having them speak up on "women's " issues. Gives me a lot of laughs actually! In fact it's easier here to ask any questions I want to than in face to face situations. They can't see me blush at my sheer inexperience in all things boating.

Margo

[feelsgood]

Well now on the broken nails side of things. This is how Sally's day went today. Changed the oil in the main engine p lus all filters and checked the injector pump timing and did the tappetts. Made a cup of tea. Sanded all the toerails down and around the wheel house doors and aplied 2 coats of teak oil( God this stuff feels nice on my hands) Washed boat 3 times, Yes 3 times it hasnt been cleaned all winter. Then aplied a coat of polish. I made her lunch and a coffee (because she likes the way I make it, allittle milk and a lot of love. As the weather is so fine 24c washing all the cloths tomorrow and change the bedding. By the way I was helping with all the jobs but we did 50% of the work each. She never once complained about broken nails as Sally keeps them short because she says that they break when doing the antifouling and changing the anodes. We have been for the past 20 years and still are madly in love and share all the jobs. There are no PINK or BLUE jobs on here only PURPLE ones. Ah well aint life GRAND, plus we are retired and cruise any time we like TOGETHER. We also talk to about all sorts of things girly and boys stuff. Dont it just make you sick supose we should shout at eachother and argue ( Naaahhh I love her toooo much. Hapy sailing all.

[flysci]

Oh man, now you've got me SO jealous, feelsgood! Congrats to you both and good wishes for many more years of bliss!

Margo

[Ocean Girl]

Feelsgood, ya got a brother or two?
E

[feelsgood]

Originally Posted by flysci

Oh man, now you've got me SO jealous, feelsgood! Congrats to you both and good wishes for many more years of bliss!

Margo

This will make you laugh. When Sally and I met her husband never talked to her and My wife hadent had a conversation with me for ages. So when we were both divorced and met for the first date I cooked a 3 corse dinner for Sally with wine and flowers and listened to her talk to me for about 9 hrs no joke I went home about 5am. The next date Sally cooked for me and we talked again this time she wanted the low down on me so I went home about 5am again. Yes we cooked at her house as I only had a small flat. We got ingaged after 3 weeks and were ingaged for 10 years because of work pressures. After we had been together for 8 months I literly died in her arms from a heart attack at the hospital where she had taken me. In 2001 Sally said when you go to work today tell yur boss to stick his job you are retiring. Not to bore you but here we are now 9 years down the road and what a life. We have been asked what makes it perfect for us and we both say the same thing. Always put your partner first ALWAYS and comunication for other words talk. The other big thing is to LISTEN to your partner this way usualy we get it right. Well no arguments in 20 years that has to be a record.

[feelsgood]

Originally Posted by Ocean Girl

Feelsgood, ya got a brother or two?
E

Sorry I am an only child but a happy bunny and OLD.

[feelsgood]

Originally Posted by Ocean Girl

Pajamas parties and pillow fights..why? what do you guys do behind closed doors?

Frankly, I do the same things hanging out with my sailor girl friends that I do with my sailor guy friends...talk boats, anchors, destinations, favorite knots, provisioning tricks, wood care, compass corrections, and then there is sanitation projects...that can go all night.

At 63 I am still learning. I chat to Sally and her friends and my daughter about all sorts of things, Like womens problems and try to understand how they effect them Nail polish colours and hair cutting though I am not a hairdresser I cut Sallys hair and a few others here in Morlaix Men or Ladies how about hair colour, I could go on for ages on this subject from the prices they charge for crap colour to the cheaper ones you will get at least 20 washes out of. Hey girls want to know a secret of how to sharpen those hairdressing sicssors. Get a piece of tin foil ( i cant spel aluminium) about 12" by 12" and fold over about 4 times so you ind up with a strip 3" by 12" now cut along it like you are making a frilly edger for a blouse or hanky edging and there you go sharp scissors.

[feelsgood]

Hey here's one for the boys. When you go out in the dinghy with your wives take 2 of those plastic things that 35mm film goes into. I carry 2 one has 4 waterproof matches, some tobaco and some papers in case I want a siggy and the other has 3 wet wipes the ones you use on a babies bum. In case Sally wants a freshenup ( you know what I mean girls) that way we are both happy

[cathyoz]

feelsgood..
you live in France , now , well the best of the "old french way" must has rubb on you ..
good on you ,
living in Anglo saxon country , i can see the difference the way that gender has been educated and relate to each other in my generation..compare to France , where i come from.
sure there many "macho man " in France ,
but there is not like in the USA and AUstralia , where private education are mainly segregated in boys or girls only school ,
so In France it is all co-education mix private or states schools, when i was little girl at school ,we learn at a early age to relate to each other in a more open way , and on equal ground.
The new generation of my son ( 21 ) even in Australia are more open minded and at ease to related and talk to all his women friends , a big improvement compare to his father generation ( Australian baby boomer generation who find it so hard and inapropriated to express their personal emotions).
I beleive ,it is a generation issues ,
more a women versus men issues

most of the people of this forum will be middle age,
and the second time around ( relationship , marriage , ..) we supose to learn and do better like feelsgood and his new wife.
All the best , you can write a guide or a thread now "maintening happy relationship on sailing adventures " to help your fellow out there , looking for a women sailing mate