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Old 20-01-2007, 22:14   #1
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Sailing Mates

Hi,

I live aboard my boat and enjoy taking it out day sailing. The boat is definitely capable of blue water cruising as I continue to dream about the day (still need to work a few more years, hone skills, etc). And that's my dillemma: I'm considering giving the whole thing up because sor far, this lifestyle has been very lonely.

I bought my boat about three years ago. Before that I learned how to sail. I belong to a club and have no shortage of friends who I routinely meet. But I can't seem to find anyone - a man - who is interested in committing to a relationship that includes boat ownership and cruising.

Of the men on my dock: some would call them old salts others would call them drunken has-beens. I'm not passing judgement either way. Just looking for advice as to where or how to find a sailing soulmate?

My hat's off to singlehanders - don't know how you do it.

Minny
(Buying a dog would have been a lot cheeper!)
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Old 20-01-2007, 23:18   #2
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Stop looking around ya dock.Surely you have a life outside the sailing scene.Anyway,when it comes to looking for "That someone special"You are more likely to find them when "Not looking"and usually not in the places you are looking.IMHO.Buying a dog might only give you moore chores and may just mask your perceived lonlyness.Don't give up but don't press for a deffinate outcome.This is starting to sound like a"Dear Mudnut.....Reply so go for a sail.Mudnut.
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Old 21-01-2007, 03:02   #3
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Welcome!

On the presumption that you are female, I would say that statisically speaking their are more fellas sitting on their boats alone thinking the same as you................

I dunno where you are based but I would suggest that you are more likely to meet fellas with a similar interest (ie living / cruising on a boat) when you cast off and head to well worn long term cruising areas.........than sitting in your home port where I am guessing most folk are holding down a regular lifestyle.

I would suggest that haveing yer own boat would be a certain advantage in these circumstances, cos' if things are not working out / yer fancy a break you can just sail off into the sunset, rather than being stuck onboard with Capt Bligh
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Old 21-01-2007, 04:07   #4
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Minitee - One of the things you might do would be add a little information to your profile - location would certainly be a good idea (IMHO).

There are a lot of guys who want to do what you are planning. A lot of us are in the same position as you are: Got boat, need mate. As someone pointed out, getting to an area where boaters are, is the best way to find someone with simillar interests.

There are yacht clubs (not your father's YC - and not just for the hoity-toity). Sailing clubs. Other sailors are always looking for other sailors for a variety of reasons. I believe that women have less trouble finding men (but probably more trouble finding one they like).

Good luck!
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Old 21-01-2007, 14:52   #5
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Welcome Minitee,

A Portugese Water dog is a good breed. Very friendly and bred for the water. Another good choice is a Dutch Barge dog. But beware, these are not cheap dogs. I'm puzzled by your note that buying a dog would have been much cheaper. Did you buy the boat to find companionship? If you did, join another sailing club as yours isn't panning out. I know many romances have been started at the club I belong to and some have ended too. A woman with a boat should have no problems. Perhaps you should try some around the cans racing. At our club there's always tons of guys and gals who have no boats and are just itching to crew. Half the guys would love to chuck it all and go cruising. The other half are single. Just kidding, they all want to go cruising. Don't give up, there's tons of guys out there. The crew members are usually a younger crowd, interspersed with a few drunken has-beens or drunken wannabees.
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Old 21-01-2007, 17:21   #6
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Crusing friend

If are located on Mobile Bay let me know. I would love to cruise with you sometime.
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Old 22-01-2007, 06:30   #7
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Thanks guys.
I think Thomas' quote sums it up: here I was complaining about the wind when what I really need to do is trim my sails.
I will visit some other clubs (both on and off the dock), but not to "search for men," but how about just to have fun? I think that's a good start.
And I'm probably not explaining myself good enough: I've got plenty of volunteers to going sailing with (to include my best friend), so I need to be happy with that. And we'll see what comes.
You guys made me realize I was just having a "woe is me" day. Thanks for waking me up.
Minny
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Old 26-01-2007, 14:30   #8
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singlehanding

If I'd waited for the perfect crew to show up I wouldn't have sailed anywhere. Learn to singlehand , and not have your sailing adventures dictated to you by the whims of others. If someone shows up, great. If they don't , go out and enjoy life anyway.
Brent
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Old 26-01-2007, 19:00   #9
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Quote:
I'm considering giving the whole thing up because sor far, this lifestyle has been very lonely.
Not everything imagined works out. If it hurts don't do it. Life is short, there may be other things that might actually make you exceptionally happy. Now how bad could that be? A boat won't make your life into something it isn't already. They are fun but they are not anything more.
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Old 27-01-2007, 03:45   #10
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Minny - PM me, maby I can take you cruising.
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Old 27-01-2007, 05:31   #11
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Paul's right. Boats are simply amplifiers. If there is some emotion or feeling you have, the boat will multiply it time 10 or maybe times 100.
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Old 27-01-2007, 13:48   #12
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and they amp the negative feelings just as much as positive too.
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Old 27-01-2007, 20:58   #13
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I can't see Paula giving you much of anything negative though Darryl. ;-)
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Old 27-01-2007, 22:58   #14
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She made me buy some new clothes today
What's wrong with my old 20 year boat clothes??
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Old 28-01-2007, 05:25   #15
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maybe if you washed them?? :::running and ducking:::
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