RELATIONSHIP ISSUES

[GordMay]

From “AskMen.com”
Top 10: Things You Never Want Her To Say
By Oliver Jameson, Relationship Correspondent

Men, complete this sentence: The most fearsome, most harrowing combination of words a female can utter are... :-)

Compare your answer(s) to Askmen.com's list of the Top 10 Things You Never Want Her To Say. You may find that she could utter other things that could send chills down your spine. If she starts to utter these words, stop her! Redirect her with whatever you have in your arsenal of tricks. Or, be prepared with a politically correct reply that she'll just love to hear. The first five are...

1. We need to talk.
2. My friend is pregnant/engaged.
3. Do you notice anything different about me?
4. Do you find her pretty?
5. What are you thinking about?

For the other five spine-tingling phrases, read this Askmen.com article.

There are certain things a man never wants to hear from his lady. "Let's go shopping" is one of them, as those words usually herald a whole afternoon wasted near the women's fitting rooms. "You're acting like your father" is another, much harsher statement. Even worse, "You're acting like my father"; that one just hurts.

Below, however, are the most fearsome, most harrowing combination of words a female can utter...

Goto: http://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_...ting_list.html

[NoTies]

Let's go shopping is fine.....as long she is talking about the chandlery.

[Amphibian]

? ? ? ? ?

[Starbuck]

"I'm late."

[seagypsywoman]

Great list, but not likely to happen if the man beats her to the finish line: 1. proposes to the woman after knowing her for three weeks and every week after that, 2. Suggests they have a baby the day after the wedding, 3. Tells her every day that she is beautiful and he's crazy about her. 4. Buys flowers every time he buys a new gadget for the boat. Women are sooo easy to please.

Yea, but they are good at keeping that a secret too

[GordMay]

The most important character trait Maggie brings to our (40 year) relationship, is the capacity for affectionate forgiveness. My conduct requires absolution, from time to time.

Seriously though, it seems we are all dancing around the same theme here - the “Golden Rule” of treating others as we wish to be treated. Although many sailors/cruisers are “rugged individualists”, no healthy relationship (partnership) can withstand a self-absorbed egomaniac.

While they won’t mitigate major transgressions*, I think that the petty courtesies (“please & thank you”, etc.) can go a long way towards ameliorating the trivial annoyances common to (confined) life aboard.
* Anyone requiring counsel on avoiding “major transgressions” isn’t fit for a salubrious relationship.

FWIW,
Gord

[CaptainK]

Like that saying goes. It takes two to tango?

Each side has to give as much support to their loved one as the other does. They simply have to work together. If one of them doesn't. Then that's when the problems start.

In the U.S. alone. Divorce rates is around 40% to 50%. Depending upon religous background.

[Alan Wheeler]

OK I am going to open up here a little a tell you a very important lesson I learn't in life. Dawn and I just had our 17th wedding aniversary by the way. But we nearly didn't. A few years back, I had a job that was so stressful, that it nearly killed me. And that's not an exageration. During the time that I was going through, I was basicly having a breakdown and I was starting to make some irrational decisions. I was working in another part of the country and traveling home every second weekend. Man was that hard work. So when I saw Dawn on those weekends, I was struggling to cope on top of my work stress with all the normal every day decisions that couples make at home. Simple little decisions were just to hard and I felt so far away from Dawn. Well it all came to a crunch one night when I just had enough. And I suggested we part company. I mean, she was the one stable thing in my life I had left and yet I was going to make a stupid mistake of walking away from her. She made a comment that hit me between the eyes like a 4x2.
"but this is our journey together"
What a sudden wake up I got. I realised this wasn't me on my own. All the horrible crap going on was just part of a journey that WE were taking TOGETHER. That was a journey that we started togehter the day I asked here to marry me. Asking a person to marry you is about asking them to walk with you on a journey through life.
Man do a lot of couples miss that reality check in life. I hear it all the time, "we just grew apart.
I am so blessed.
cough cough, hey aren't we Kiwi blokes supposed to be tuff emotionless guy's.

[seagypsywoman]

There is this poster hanging in my sister's house with 21 suggestions for success. Number one says: Marry the right person.This one decision will determine 90% of your happiness or misery.

Alan, it looks like you're one of the lucky ones to have married the right person who will stick by you for better or worse.

[seagypsywoman]

So I'm wondering if anyone here has succesfully navigated the difficult waters of a new relationship on board. Say you 'meet' by posting a crew wanted ad, and one or both of you is cruising.

How do you coordinate cruising life with dating? What do you do if you happen to be several thousand miles apart but you both have this passion for cruising and are tired of doing it alone?

[CaptainK]

Well seagypsywoman.

If you happen to "meet" this person. And of the person were to spend more than a week with you. And you both seem to really like eachother. I'm sure he could make arrangements to stay a awhile longer. Especially if he also loves cruising in sailboats.

I'm sure that the person, would go out of their way. To make contact with you. And send you stuff through the mail. On his end. Providing that he's financially sound. Might retire early. That's if he's already thinking about it. And that's if he's interested in you.

Other than that. The two of you would have to connect the dots, to make this work?

That's my two cents.

[BC Mike]

I am working on it.
The following is about all I know on the subject.
Michael

Wheels, we are lucky aren't we. I have often discussed relationships with non sailing people, and it usually starts with the observation that the other person could not imagine being couped up in a small space for a week or more with their spouse. My wife and I got together 10 years ago, coming out of a couple of very bad relationships. We had been best friends for years, so it was the logical move. For the first 9 years we were together 24/7. In that time we had only spent 2 nights apart. We worked together, commuted together, and lived together. We are still not tired of each other's company. When I took my current job, I had to go out of state for 3 weeks for training. I flew her out for one week, and excelerated my training, so I was only gone 2 and 1/2 weeks. That was still too long, and we were both miserable. I guess we are perfect for cruising. She is still my best friend, and my favorite person to talk to. It comes down to life's trade offs. When the means to an end prevents that end, it is time to change course.

[CaptainK]

Well Kai.

You most deffinately have the perfect cruising partner there.