Reasons you should take your children cruising soon

[PDA1]

Originally Posted by Group9

What if you are pretty sure your kids are already sociopaths? No problems, then, right?

Hey! I raised my kids right!!! They know most of the The 3 Stooges episodes!

The littlest one can do a "nyuck, nyuck, nyuck" really well.
Now, if that doesn't make me proud of them nothing will.

[SV THIRD DAY]

Originally Posted by capn_mark

from what I gather, there are no or few regrets from those who have actually raised kids on the water.

We have met and talked to a lot of folks that have cruised as kids and I haven't met anyone yet that looks back on the time as a negative. Our only "regret" was being so worried about it and listening to all the naysayers (some in our own extended family) that told us everything from our kids would never get into a good collage and their futures would be ruined to they would grow up to be antisocial, misfits, boat bums, or axe murderers.

What I found is that people took us not wanting to participate in "society" (us or with the kids) as a poke in their eye. They felt the need to defend the clearly broken education and societal system since they couldn't save their own kids (or themselves) from it! It wasn't just a jealousy issue that we were going to live on a sailboat in "Paradise" (whatever that means) but that THEY were trapped in a system they knew in their gut was a disaster, but haven't figured out how to escape it yet. So to make themselves comfortable, they would rather lie to themselves that everything is ok, the public schools are fine, the culture and society running off the rails is fine, their kids being raised by Cable TV and on Social Media rather than parents is OK. They were watching people escape so it was easier for them to find fault in the escape plan than to admit they were staying behind comfortably in prison.

Do you remember how in the old WWII war movies when the GIs were planning an escape from the Nazi POW camp and there was always one guy in the group who was more afraid of winning his freedom than staying prisoner? “We shouldn’t try it, what if they catch us, it’s not too bad here, they feed us, and let us play ball in the prison yard. Let’s just play it safe and wait for rescue”. Well forget about waiting for a rescue folks. Freedom is out there all you have to do it find the courage to make the escape.

[nhschneider]

I prefer to be careful with broad generalizations regarding child rearing. Even though parents universally need to support, nourish and motivate their children, the fact is that the kids themselves are unique individuals. Some children will adapt to the cruising lifestyle well and thrive on it - others won't. Conversely, some children will fail miserably in a traditional school environment where long distance cruising may have offered them the learning opportunities at which they would have excelled.

We took our three children cruising for a year and now as adults they still talk of the significant impact it made on them. They quickly learned that there was more to life than shopping malls, telephones and television. They learned to read for pleasure. In a remote fishing village in southeastern Alaska, they saw how a community was devasted by a teenage suicide. When they returned to public schools, they excelled at their studies even though their home schooling while cruising hadn't been as rigorous academically as perhaps it should have been.

I feel my wife and I lucked out that our kids did well at cruising but I'm sure there are children out there that would hate it. I'm guessing that we've saved thousands in psychotherapy because they had so much fun during that year.

Fair winds and calm seas.

[letsgetsailing3]

I'm not at all convinced that taking your kids cruising makes them better or worse -- just different. You can also spend time with them at home in a wide variety of activities.

It's important to show your kids you love them, take care of their needs, and educate them. Whether you do it on a boat or at home is up to you. Yes, the educational system has some issues, as does our society, but the cream rises to the top. There are a lot of crazy influences out there, but the negative effects are mostly from parents feeling like they have to let their kids do something just because everyone else is doing it.

I usually don't buy it when parents say they're changing their lifestyle for their kids. I see a lot of parents using their kids to justify something THEY want to do, whether it be getting a boat or working late for a promotion to partner.

On the other hand, if you're doing something because YOU want to do it, and want to take your kids along, go for it. They'll be fine.

[BandB]

Wifey B: I tend to think taking them cruising may make them better adjusted but it has far less to do with where they are than it does with the time you're spending with them. Were you to stay home and spend that time playing tennis and basketball, taking them to the parks, and teaching them then you could well achieve the same.

I do object to any generalization as to public schools or most other wide generalizations. I was a teacher and our schools were very good and top ranked. What I saw way too often however was students starving for parenting. Yes, I'm the first to admit there are bad schools and bad districts but there are also excellent ones. It's just that schools cannot be a substitute for parenting. I would cry some nights in my husbands arms about the plight of some of the kids. And I do believe in kids. They are inherently good and precious and if they're messed up, then generally we did it. We, parents, schools, society, friends, siblings. Some part of we did it.

What about the eight year old girl who heard her father in a fight with her mother say loudly, "I wish we'd never had Trish." Then the father left and Trish thought it was her fault. And the father never saw her. Meanwhile the mother worked two jobs and saw little of this darling little girl. The mom couldn't even make time to come talk to us at school. We mentioned counseling for her daughter and she said "There is nothing wrong with Trish. Just her dad's an a......e." I stepped out of the boundaries I was supposed to stay in to try to talk to that little girl and explain to her that it wasn't all her fault. That adults screw up sometimes. Even parents.

I dealt with kids whose father had lost his job and they were losing their home. Kids who then said they got yelled at constantly for anything they did and gave examples that were certainly over the top. As a teacher I never had problems with the kids, but sure did have problems with a lot of parenting or the lack thereof. I will say that in the three schools where I ran the reading programs, 90% of the teachers were truly dedicated to the children and teaching and helping them. The school had the tools needed to teach them. And our parents on the whole were far more committed to their children and their education than most places. But life's a struggle for many. They're pulled in so many directions and stretched beyond their limits. And when the parents are hurting while trying to cope, the kids are truly hurt. A lot of loving, caring parents who just don't have the time or energy reserve to be good parents.

There was a time kids were raised by extended families, by the entire community. Then people moved and often relatives were no longer close so it was just the two parents. Now it's often one. But whether it's one parent or a community, the kids need that person or persons truly present in their lives.

Now I do want to add one additional benefit specifically of taking your children cruising. Fear reduction. The child who stays in the home all the time and builds a narrow comfort zone isn't sometimes prepared for more. Fear of the water? Fear of nature? Fear of the unknown? Fear of something new? Fear of different people in different places? If you watch the news and read the internet, it's so easy to become convinced that the world is a scary place made up mostly of bad people. I don't believe that generalization either. Most people are good. And the world is made up of many beautiful places filled with beautiful people. We just have to see it. Now my clearly favorite way of seeing it is from the water.

[goboatingnow]

Originally Posted by minaret

+1,000,000!!!


If Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber got married and had kids, I'm pretty sure it would be the straw that broke the camels back and humanity would just implode in a fit of shame ...

Maybe it's just me. I have far more faith in today's kids then most. They seem to more hard working , socially conservative , career orientated then we were. I don't see many kids on the picket line today or waving placards on the streets etc.

Dave

[minaret]

Originally Posted by goboatingnow

Maybe it's just me. I have far more faith in today's kids then most. They seem to more hard working , socially conservative , career orientated then we were. I don't see many kids on the picket line today or waving placards on the streets etc.

Dave

What exactly is wrong with waving placards on the streets? Or a good picket line for that matter?

[BandB]

Originally Posted by goboatingnow

Maybe it's just me. I have far more faith in today's kids then most.

Dave

We have more faith in most of the kids than most of the adults. We've spent time around kids of all ages and gotten to know them. Many of the ones we've spent time around have a lot of excuses they could have used to choose the wrong way, but haven't made excuses, have just made the most of things.

As to socially conservative and career oriented, I don't like the words conservative or liberal as they seem to imply across the board and I think most kids are more inclined to think of each issue and choice and may be conservative in some ways and liberal in others. They haven't chosen to fit under a label. And as to career, hopefully they learn to balance their priorities. As to placards and picket lines, I do hope they learn appropriate means of expressing their distaste for things going on in the world which they find intolerable.

But we do both believe in them. And we're so proud of many we have had the opportunity to know.

[Sea Frog]

About math... reminds me of this great piece:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyowJZxrtbg

There are much more important things to teach kids, than match and science. And I very much hope my children won't grow up "career-oriented" - I will do my best to show them other, much better options.

[MBLittle]

Seems to me that the same arguments about homeschooling are being used to argue against cruising kids.

For decades people have perpetuated the myth that homeschooling kids leaves them socially retarded and unable to handle normal life. Luckily during those decades scientific studies were being made and have since proved those ideas unfounded. The vast majority of homeschooled people are well above their peers in almost every category, including socialization. Perhaps this is the same for cruising kids.

Another prevalent idea seems to be that cruising kids are sociopaths or psychotic. This is laughable at best and ignorant at worst. When a child grows up with a "normal" life: middle class, suburbia, karate, public school, play dates, etc: and they become bad people, the parents have a plethora of things to blame: violent video games, music, popular culture, public education, government, bullies, drugs, bad influences, etc: but when a cruising kid becomes a bad person, somehow it's ONLY because of cruising? Come on. That sounds so ridiculous.

Seems to me that parents prefer a "normal" life for their kids so they don't have to take responsibility for them.

Another thing to consider is that this "normal" life is at most 50-60 years old. In the timeline of human civilization, it wouldn't even register as a miniscule blip. After only 2 generations of this "normal" life is it obvious it's not a healthy one. It does however breed a civilization of complacent materialistic drones willing to buy crap they don't need And bend to the will of government. I wonder who that benefits. Society or businesses and their politicians?

Fact is, these ideals that cruising with kids will destroy them is completely unfounded and misleading. Moat kids grow up just fine in "normal society", many grow up fine being homeschooled, many grow up fine cruising, many grow up fine isolated on family farms 80 miles from their neighbor in Wyoming. Some don't grow up fine regardless of their physical place of upbringing. Some people are just born bad. Some are just born with an inability for a productive human life.

If there was a scientific study that was able to track this over the last 30 years, like homeschooling, we would have more concrete answers. Until then, I'll continue to read the 8,000 articles that speak highly of cruising with kids, as well as the 17 against. For me, basic math is easy. Maybe it's not for other people. Maybe you should have been homeschooled, I dunno.

Sent from my LG-E980 using Cruisers Sailing Forum mobile app

[Nicholson58]

Originally Posted by Sea Frog

About math... reminds me of this great piece:

There are much more important things to teach kids, than match and science. And I very much hope my children won't grow up "career-oriented" - I will do my best to show them other, much better options.

SORRY, This is just more of the dumbing down of America. I have to say, this is a wrong-headed and counterproductive view on math & science. Teaching M&S teaches logic and critical thinking skills even if you do not follow a technical career. My experience was that scary M&S classes as a youngster were taught by incompetent teachers, assigned to deliver the state required curriculum. They were clearly scared of it and did not understand it, nor could they explain it. These same BOZOs taught my children. I found the texts incoherent. My first daughter got As but understood nothing and feared M&S for years. I helped her over this as a college sophomore. She became an environmental geologist specializing in ground water, Masters form Colorado School of Mines. Who'd have thought! I had the great good fortune to have Mr Miller & Mr. Meijer in 7,8,9 who made it both fun & so obvious & logical that my grades went from crap to A. It opened my future.

I would also say that those who might be permitted to avoid this critical part of learning will be forever the manipulated victims of those who studied. They will not know when they are being fed junk science or sold a bill of goods. They will never be able to manage their own money or retirement. This is not unlike those who do not study history or learn its lessons will be doomed to repeat them.

We teach lots of things that are not directly applied to your future career but your life would be dull without books, music, language, history, sports and a plethora of other things. This is what makes one a well rounded and interesting individual. I can't imagine marrying a mental midget. Why should anyone aspire to be one or doom their children to the bottom of the heap?

[Tellie]

In my short time on earth I'm not convinced excelling at math and science guarantees mental giant status either. Not sure I would want to marry someone who can multiply six figure numbers in their head but then don't have a lick of common sense. In my limited scientific education I've found that the fumes move upward from the heap and smells worse at the top.

[MBLittle]

Originally Posted by Tellie

In my short time on earth I'm not convinced excelling at math and science guarantees mental giant status either. Not sure I would want to marry someone who can multiply six figure numbers in their head but then don't have a lick of common sense. In my limited scientific education I've found that the fumes move upward from the heap and smells worse at the top.

And this is why we have a society of people that worship Duck Dynasty, Kim Kardashian and Justin Beiber instead of a society that idolizes Carl sagan, Neil Degrasse Tyson and Albert Einstein

Sent from my LG-E980 using Cruisers Sailing Forum mobile app

[theaton]

Originally Posted by minaret

What exactly is wrong with waving placards on the streets? Or a good picket line for that matter?

That's the problem with broad generalizations. There is nothing wrong with protesting or a picket line in general. However, one look at Occupy Wall Street and the Westboro Baptist Church and you'll see that protesting can be as evil as other things.

[theaton]

Originally Posted by MBLittle

And this is why we have a society of people that worship Duck Dynasty, Kim Kardashian and Justin Beiber instead of a society that idolizes Carl sagan, Neil Degrasse Tyson and Albert Einstein

Sent from my LG-E980 using Cruisers Sailing Forum mobile app

Education has nothing to do with who we idolize or worship. People that worship those people you spoke of were parented by television and no those that brought them into the world.