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Old 15-03-2013, 11:22   #46
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Re: Reasons you should take your children cruising soon

No one has brought up the family ties. Family is our foundation, and if you have a choice to spend 3 hours per day with your kids or 24/7 which would you choose? I know some may not want to choose the latter, but that is part of the problem.
I would like to know a story of any family that did not come out stronger at the end of their cruise.
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Old 15-03-2013, 14:20   #47
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Re: Reasons you should take your children cruising soon

What if you are pretty sure your kids are already sociopaths? No problems, then, right?
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Old 17-02-2014, 23:42   #48
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Re: Reasons you should take your children cruising soon

I can't speak to teenage long time cruising kids as I have met very few in our travels but younger kids I can speak to. My experience with cruising kids is that they have social skills much more advanced than the typical "play date" city kid being raised these days.
I have also met some kids with problems and as others have said it related directly to their parents and their issues. I don't think these types of issues are any different whether the child is raised on a boat or in a house.
Dave's point about a teenager looking for more privacy and freedom are reasonable thoughts. I remember reading a book about a family cruising and as the kids got older they started jumping ship.
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Old 17-02-2014, 23:55   #49
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Re: Reasons you should take your children cruising soon

Goboatingnow, and anyone else who might be interested:

You're right, most kids don't get asked. [It is the job of the parents to lead the children, and "draw the box" around them; and it is the job of the child to keep on pushing on the walls of the box.] And I also agree that the task of the teens is successful separation from their family of origin.

Where I disagree is that I do not think mainstreaming kids automatically makes the major task of the teens easier. I think this may be especially true in the culture of the US right now. I do think that the marketing aspects of little girls TV as expressed by minaret would bother me if I had twins the ages of his. I find it alarming. But beyond that, and beyond the artificiality of facebook --which is not the same as face to face contacts-- a world cruise will expose those youngsters to other cultures and their different-from-the-US ways of doing things, which is a huge eyeopener. It will allow them (supposing that minaret and his wife are okay with it) to take on responsibilities in the real world that will build their self esteem and knowledge, in addition to their home schooling, all of which will help them. It will give them a background in their own experience for evaluating what they encounter.

What you describe as cruising kids is probably right on as far as it goes. Where we differ is that my experiences of cruising kids is based on (in most cases) families who were doing slow circumnavigations. I believe that the dislocations suffered by military families is different because the international cruising community keeps re-grouping, in harbors, mainly due to the forces of the weather and our reaction to them. The kids do lose friends, but they also re-encounter old friends, and they become facile at picking up new languages and making new friends. The skill of making new friends is useful for the rest of their lives.

I think Mr & Mrs Minaret are responsible parents who are willing to go outside the box, so to speak, to bring their girls up the way they think best. And I wish them all many happy sea miles. ....I have seen lots of parents put their kids in schools in foreign lands for a semester or two, and the kids seem to grow from the experience; but they already have that self esteem that comes from contributing in a meaningful way to the family welfare, and that last is what I think is missing from summer holiday cruises with your teenagers, if they focus on other objects and people than their family dynamics. Minaret's girls are much younger. By the time they are teens, the issues of separation may be discussed directly, with the younger ones.

Ann
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Old 18-02-2014, 00:06   #50
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Reasons you should take your children cruising soon

I make no specific comments as to specific cruisers kids. What I do often detect in cruising family families is a degree of " double think " , ie parents have kids , parents want to go cruising , enter self justifying arguments.

In my experience, there are few kids on boats and it can be difficult for those that are to meet up and socialise.
Nothing I've seen convinces me that teens benefit by being brought up on boats. , small kids are a bit different.

As to protecting or insulating your kids from the world, unless you intend they spend the rest of their life being locked in a box, better to equip them to deal with the real world. IMHO

As for " different to the US" I think you'll find the world over teens are remarkably similar, tend to follow the same things , want to wear similar clothes, etc etc etc. Some US parents seem to have rose coloured glasses as to lifestyles outside the US. The truth is a little depressingly however. ( as you'll discover when you rock up to that little island and they're all watching manchester united on sky sports !!

Wherever the merits of kids and cruising , going cruising to run away from the " modern" world is daft. Romantic , yes , but daft.

But we're at the circular argument point

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Old 18-02-2014, 00:08   #51
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Re: Reasons you should take your children cruising soon

Just for the information, this is an old thread that got resurrected by a post that has since been deleted.

Coops.
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Old 18-02-2014, 00:59   #52
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Re: Reasons you should take your children cruising soon

I spent a good portion of my pre-teen childhood cruising the world, as has my son. So I can speak with 1st hand knowledge as a father of a cruising kid and as an ex-cruising kid myself.

The challenges of setting off and adapting are smaller than the challenges of returning. My son and I both returned after having seen and experienced many things that our land-based peers just cannot understand. Our peers are/were more interested in the latest music, movies, worst teacher, hottest chick etc and have no idea about the responsibility of being on watch during a gale, communicating with no common language, guiding the family home in between coral reefs, assisting your old man to fix something essential while you drift aimlessly for a day in the middle of an ocean, free diving 10m to check the anchor, etc etc.

It is like returning to a totally different tribe. The typical questions will be:

Did you go through storms?
What was your favourite place?

Then they will tell you how they hit some spray on the ferry to Straddie or went to Dreamworld (Disney) last month.

I found I was out of touch with teenager slang in the 80s and did not understand some conversations. My son felt that even more, never having lived in our home country since he was 4. But, due to internet connections while cruising he did keep up with certain contemporary topics.

Overall, there are far more positives than negatives. But the biggest challenges are on the return to land not during the cruising.

The other difference between my son's experience and mine was the number of cruising kids out there. I am a child of baby boomers and they, like now, were the major cruising demographic in the 70s and 80s. They were at child bearing age so there were always other kids on boats. Nowadays, the boomers still dominate the anchorages but they have grand kids a long way away.

Prior to setting off with my son, I told him stories of my cruising childhood having fun with all the other boat kids - it simply was not reflected in the current reality. He didn't accuse me of lying but he could have presented a good argument for it. Sure, there are kids out there but there are many, many more grey-haired old grand parents!

Anyway, it is in his blood now. My mother is cruising the SE coast of Tasmania, my father is delivering a yacht to Adelaide, we still live aboard and his cousins will be sailing back down from Darwin at the end of the year.

I wonder where my grand kids will end up cruising?
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Old 18-02-2014, 01:22   #53
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Re: Reasons you should take your children cruising soon

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The other difference between my son's experience and mine was the number of cruising kids out there. I am a child of baby boomers and they, like now, were the major cruising demographic in the 70s and 80s. They were at child bearing age so there were always other kids on boats. Nowadays, the boomers still dominate the anchorages but they have grand kids a long way away.

Prior to setting off with my son, I told him stories of my cruising childhood having fun with all the other boat kids - it simply was not reflected in the current reality. He didn't accuse me of lying but he could have presented a good argument for it. Sure, there are kids out there but there are many, many more grey-haired old grand parents!
That isn't good news in my attempts to convince my family that a boat sabbatical would be fun. We have an 8 and 10 year old, which i am thinking is pretty much the perfect age. Old enough to be responsible, strong swimmers, love nature and young enough to want to play with me every day.

Many of the things brought up in this thread regarding growing up in the western world aren't likely going to be a problem for them. As i write my 10 year old daughter is running around nude playing with the dog and jumping in the pool, she hates barbies, is very strong willed and often has befriended the sad kids at school rather than suck up to the cool kids.

To me it's about having an adventure and not teaching our kids to be beholden to the almighty dollar for your entire existence.

I just am having problems working out how to finance this adventure

If we sell our house then i feel everyone will feel somewhat homeless, where if we rent it out then they will feel like it is an adventure to come back after and tell their friends about.
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Old 18-02-2014, 01:55   #54
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Re: Reasons you should take your children cruising soon

After 10 minutes, their friends will lose interest in your kids' adventure because they will have no understanding of it. The closest they will get is to say they anchored at the bay in St Vincent where Pirates of the Caribbean was filmed.

You go for your own selfish reasons, not to tell someone about the adventure afterwards. Truly!
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Old 18-02-2014, 02:22   #55
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Re: Reasons you should take your children cruising soon

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After 10 minutes, their friends will lose interest in your kids' adventure because they will have no understanding of it. The closest they will get is to say they anchored at the bay in St Vincent where Pirates of the Caribbean was filmed.

You go for your own selfish reasons, not to tell someone about the adventure afterwards. Truly!
You are probably right, however it will help to keep their sense of belonging somewhere, of having a community and home.

I am without base to work out if our kids would be happy without that since i grew up in one area until i was old enough to explore my gypsy tendencies. It is one thing that is hard to replace and something that probably shouldn't be lost.

I visited this sub forum today and was unimpressed at the number of posts since i had last visited. It's not encouraging that you are backing up that there aren't many families cruising.
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Old 18-02-2014, 05:16   #56
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Re: Reasons you should take your children cruising soon

You really need to keep your kids mentally challenged. Math will do that! Your kids, while cruising, should master Algebra, Trigonometry and Applied Calculus; in that order. Provide them with their books' respective Student Solutions Manuals and a good Graphics Calculator; needed to solve an occasional toughie.

A couple of hours, everyday, should be spent learning math. They may not appreciate this math, for the time being, but they will thank you in the future.

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Old 18-02-2014, 06:55   #57
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Re: Reasons you should take your children cruising soon

I am in the Caribbean with my 8 and 10 year old daughters. There are a lot of kids around here. However, many don't speak English or are on a much different itinerary. So finding a friend to play with for a few days is easy, but longer term friends need more deliberate action.

My daughter made BFF's in Grenada over the hurricane season. We have a rough plan to see them there again this summer. If she really missed them we could easily catch up to where they are, a few hundred miles away, and buddy boat for the rest of the winter. But as it is she is having a ton of fun with just us, and it is enough that we will see them again in a few months.
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Old 18-02-2014, 07:29   #58
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Re: Reasons you should take your children cruising soon

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I believe that the dislocations suffered by military families is different because the international cruising community keeps re-grouping, in harbors, mainly due to the forces of the weather and our reaction to them. The kids do lose friends, but they also re-encounter old friends, and they become facile at picking up new languages and making new friends. The skill of making new friends is useful for the rest of their lives.

Ann
??? From my experience, military families probably have a GREATER chance of encountering old friends again and again, not a lesser chance. Everything you stated here also applies to military families. When military members move to a new base, they often encounter people they've been stationed with before. Yes, there are challenges, but the military community offers a lot of support.

All of that said, I think it's the parents responsibility to offer as diverse an experience to their kids as they can. There are advantages and disadvantages to long-term moves/travel. While I think some cruising experience can be beneficial, developing long-term childhood friends in one location also has some advantages. If children have the opportunity for both, all the better.

The cruising life can offer some opportunities for kids, but let's be realistic -- parents choose the cruising life for themselves, not the kids. You can do a great job of raising your kids anywhere if you pay attention, love them, and don't let them walk all over you instead of doing your job as their parent.
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Old 18-02-2014, 07:41   #59
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Re: Reasons you should take your children cruising soon

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The cruising life can offer some opportunities for kids, but let's be realistic -- parents choose the cruising life for themselves, not the kids.
Well, not us. And not the cruising families we've known, either. We are primarily doing this to spend more time with the kids and make up a life with them that we think is better than what we would be doing, and were doing, as landlubbers.

Some folks cruise to run away from life, but we, and most of the folks we like, cruise to run towards a richer life.
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Old 18-02-2014, 07:46   #60
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Re: Reasons you should take your children cruising soon

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Well, not us. And not the cruising families we've known, either. We are primarily doing this to spend more time with the kids and make up a life with them that we think is better than what we would be doing, and were doing, as landlubbers.

Some folks cruise to run away from life, but we, and most of the folks we like, cruise to run towards a richer life.


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