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Old 11-03-2013, 13:11   #31
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Re: Reasons you should take your children cruising soon

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Originally Posted by atoll View Post
i'am not saying don't take your children cruising,all i am saying is just be aware that there are periods in a childs development where they need to interact with other children to develop social skills amongst their own peer group.
I have to totally agree with atoll here as I've seen it in my own experiences. Append this with also interacting with the rest of society as well, and not just other kids. Children need to formulate bonds with not only their peers but the environment in which they will end up living when they grow up.

The cruising children I did interact with that did grow up healthy were all state-side for some part of the time, and took part in interactive community programs. Junior sailing, scouting, clubs in school, volunteering organization, churches etc. They learned that there are needs outside of their own world, and that they should step up to serve them from time to time. They were empowered to do so.

Some of these healthy kids ended up in the carib and other places in the world after they grew up, and they also were very confident leaders. I attribute it to these social interactions when they were younger. I'm not sure how they could have got that bonding moving around for their entire childhood...especially when they hit adolescence. The others i have seen, not only in cruising but also in US parents moving around the world from port to port in jobs, didn't work out well. Only a few did.
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Old 11-03-2013, 17:22   #32
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Originally Posted by Palarran View Post
.......There's no problem raising your children while cruising but claiming it is superior to a traditional upbringing is, IMO, myopic.
I can agree. It would (could?) only be superior for those that have already lived or would prefer to live the lifestyle and learn from what it has to offer.....as for those people it is considered traditional. And for those that consider local living to one area/nation will have something different and (hopefully) as rewarding, as that becomes traditional to them.
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Old 11-03-2013, 18:35   #33
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Re: Reasons you should take your children cruising soon

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the group that i am refering to are families that have effectively "dropped out" of society,and have never had a home apart from the "yacht" ,have very few ties with any one country or place,other than where the boat is.
In a way, this comment relates to me. I didn't grow up sailing but grew up around the military. I've lived in a couple other countries and now I'm 34yrs old and still have not lived anywhere for more than a few years in my life. I feel I have no ties with any place at all. Anyone who asks me where I'm from, my usual answer is "nowhere". I have family who live in PA and VA but I still don't feel that I have any connection with the places, only the family members themselves.


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i'am not saying don't take your children cruising,all i am saying is just be aware that there are periods in a childs development where they need to interact with other children
I would agree with this too a little. When I was growing up in a military family, I was always the new one in the schools, I was the one who was "different" and I couldn't relate to anyone else as I never had any interest in sports or "school spirit" or anything else they did. I really didn't make any friends until I joined the military myself and met a few people with similar interests than myself, mainly through Amateur Radio.

One thing I would have to say that is good about children going cruising, or traveling in any way, is that they get to see and experience the world and not be stuck in a bubble of what's going on with the so-called "reality" TV shows. Parents do need to be involved with their childrens lives. I've seen it before where parents are not very involved and their children turn out horribly. It would be better for parents to be the role model for their children before they use the people seen on TV as their example of how to act themselves.

I would say it would be good to balance cruising life with "normal" home life. Children could have values and responsibility developed in them not seen in a majority of today's youth. When it comes to the world and other people, tell teach them how things are and don't sugar coat it along the way.
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Old 11-03-2013, 19:02   #34
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My kid's (18 and 15) spent two months cruising the Med this last summer. They loved it and look forward to repeating the adventure this summer. They also loved going back home, playing football and Lacrosse, attending school, and hanging out with their friends.

I hear a lot of older folks complaining about young children these days and society as a whole. Probably just like their parents complained about that generation. Personally, I see a lot of well adjusted, respectful, intelligent kids growing up in a fast paced world. There's no problem raising your children while cruising but claiming it is superior to a traditional upbringing is, IMO, myopic.
Your view coincides with mine, unlike Telie , I see and have experienced very good public schools in several European countries and the US. There are always trouble spots, but in general middle class kids with parental support do OK.

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Old 11-03-2013, 19:06   #35
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By the way I would agree upto about 10 , bringing up children in close proximity to adults on a boat is no big deal. However as they get older , they must find a way to " escape" their parents and experiment. That's how they learn to survive.

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Old 11-03-2013, 19:29   #36
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Re: Reasons you should take your children cruising soon

We are just starting out, so I don't pretend to have all the answers (and I don't really see how anyone can have all the answers). Our boys are 5 and 6 right now. The way we see it, there are trade-offs. There are experiences that they will be deprived of: living down the block from their best friends, Saturday birthday parties, travel soccer. And there will be experiences that they will have that their peers will miss out on. Yesterday, they played soccer on the beach with kids from Belgium and today they snorkeled next to an island filled with iguanas.

The socialization question is much more complicated than some people make it out to be. Public school puts together children of similar ages--based solely on their ages--for entire days spent primarily in (1) classroom management, (2) catering to the lowest common denominator (especially with the implementation of no child left behind), and (3) making sure kids become accustomed to "fitting in" to society. In my opinion, there's not that much socialization going on except from a Lord of the Flies perspective (because of the huge ratio of kids to teachers).

Obviously there are strong opinions on both sides. It's one of those "world-view" questions like religion or politics. But maybe we don't have to generalize our own experience to everyone else's.

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Old 11-03-2013, 19:34   #37
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Re: Reasons you should take your children cruising soon

I can assure you, based on my growing up, THE LORD OF THE FLIES is based on a true story...
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Old 11-03-2013, 20:17   #38
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Re: Reasons you should take your children cruising soon

I dunno about you where you guys are, but I have twin six year old girls. Around here in public school six year old girls are already dressing like little tarts, obsessing about things like Barbie and much worse (have you seen little girls TV these days?), wearing makeup, getting their ears pierced, talking about designer clothes, etc. etc. When there are "Mean Girls" plastics cliques in kindergarten, something is wrong. I really don't want my little girls pigeon holed into that mentality just because they are girls and this is the US. Pop culture here is toxic...



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Old 11-03-2013, 20:35   #39
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Re: Reasons you should take your children cruising soon

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I dunno about you where you guys are, but I have twin six year old girls. Around here in public school six year old girls are already dressing like little tarts, obsessing about things like Barbie and much worse (have you seen little girls TV these days?), wearing makeup, getting their ears pierced, talking about designer clothes, etc. etc. When there are "Mean Girls" plastics cliques in kindergarten, something is wrong. I really don't want my little girls pigeon holed into that mentality just because they are girls and this is the US. Pop culture here is toxic...



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I've seen a few things in the news about how kids are acting these days. I'm thinking it's a good reason to do home-schooling.
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Old 11-03-2013, 20:46   #40
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Re: Reasons you should take your children cruising soon

Unfortunately I came from the wrong side of the tracks and wasn't able to 'drop out' so had to work to make a living and raise the family. We started with junkers and worked our way up river,lake and coastal cruisers. The great Irish camaraderie and friendship helped enormously and interaction with other families helped to form lifelong friendships, the son works in ASW with the forces and I've 'converted' 3 other family members who are still cruising today. Living on board a sailing yacht as a nomad on a blue watery desert is not my cup of tea. Cruising with old friends and making new ones as we bimble round the European canals and messing around in the Med is more my choice.
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Old 11-03-2013, 21:16   #41
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Re: Reasons you should take your children cruising soon

My brother, sister and I weren't raised cruising, but were raised in a military family, moving quite often. My experience is/was that military brats are a somewhat neurotic bunch as a result, many with social shortcomings, anxieties etc. I can't say whether the same is true of cruising kids.
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Old 12-03-2013, 08:50   #42
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Re: Reasons you should take your children cruising soon

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Originally Posted by minaret View Post
I dunno about you where you guys are, but I have twin six year old girls. Around here in public school six year old girls are already dressing like little tarts, obsessing about things like Barbie and much worse (have you seen little girls TV these days?), wearing makeup, getting their ears pierced, talking about designer clothes, etc. etc. When there are "Mean Girls" plastics cliques in kindergarten, something is wrong. I really don't want my little girls pigeon holed into that mentality just because they are girls and this is the US. Pop culture here is toxic...



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Nothing, I mean absolutely nothing, is as mean, nasty and cruel, as a bunch of 12 to 13 year old girls can be. Do people really think that a lot of our kids problems, aren't being caused by the stuff they are being exposed to at school when not crusing?

If you want to raise conformists (and some people do) don't take your kids cruising.
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Old 12-03-2013, 09:30   #43
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Re: Reasons you should take your children cruising soon

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Nothing, I mean absolutely nothing, is as mean, nasty and cruel, as a bunch of 12 to 13 year old girls can be. Do people really think that a lot of our kids problems, aren't being caused by the stuff they are being exposed to at school when not crusing?
I have two girls, now well into adulthood, yes they all went through the barbie period, they all went through all the fazes. Thats how life works. Whats important is that they have the support, love and understanding to ground them and that they can sort out whats right for them. Simply isolating them, ( which in effect a lot of cruising does) is not in my opinion a good thing. Furthermore in particular teens need time away from adults ( to do all the things you dont need to hear about!), Thats difficult on a boat.


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I really don't want my little girls pigeon holed into that mentality just because they are girls and this is the US. Pop culture here is toxic...
Your children will not be "pigeon-holed" if you support them, pop-culture in the US is no different then elsewhere in the developed world , in fact Im always pleasantly surprised how well behaved US children are compared to this side of the pond.


None of these faze me, well mine are 25 and 22 now, but ive seen it all and they and the vast majority of kids learn and come out the other side, You have to let them experiment with things you dont what them to do ( sex, drugs, alcohol, inappropriate boys, the list is big I tell you). Because they must learn how to work out these things into a personal value system.


Taking them cruising is great, isolating them is not. They need mainstreaming to work

I did find however that cleaning all my gun collection in the presence of new boy friends was always useful.....


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Old 12-03-2013, 10:01   #44
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Re: Reasons you should take your children cruising soon

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I did find however that cleaning all my gun collection in the presence of new boy friends was always useful.....
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Old 15-03-2013, 09:36   #45
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Re: Reasons you should take your children cruising soon

what minaret and some others have said-plus-kids learn a lot from nature--more positive learning experiences than in school.
there are ways for kids to escape from mom n dad --kayaks, swimming, dinghy, got o town and interact with other kids and interact with kids from other cruising boats.

we moved around a lot when i was young--my first friend loss was at age 4--she moved away before we did--there are other folks out there and everyone interacts. is part of learning.

nature will teach kids a lot-even with semi social parents. mebbe even more than video games will....is better to play in mother nature than to constantly play video games, as seems to be the case with many land bound kids....
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