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Old 11-03-2013, 04:20   #16
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Re: Reasons you should take your children cruising soon

Id agree with Atoll. I would think twice before inflicting an adults lifestyle choice on children, especially one so drastic as extended cruising. I think this is especially true of children as they enter their teenage years, They should spend time doing things apart from their parents, They do have to experiment and determine boundaries. Its part of becoming a functioning adult.

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Personally, I have plenty of trouble myself relating to "normal" people in mainstream life. If my kids did relate to mainstream life I'd be very sad. Escaping that mentality is half the point of taking them cruising.
This is a very myopic view. Equally you havent asked your children, its your opinion fosted on you children , no more then converting them all to some religion or otherwise etc.

Kids that come from well balanced loving environments will cope with the difficulties of modern society ( as if previous societies didnt have problems). IN fact they need exposure to it so they can build appropriate responses.

Comments about school, TV etc are way of the mark. KIds today are far better educated, arguably more career focussed and unfortunately many are very socially conservative. Theres no evidence that there is any "collapse" in society, far from it.

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Old 11-03-2013, 04:33   #17
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Unless you take your kids cruising (for more than a summer holiday) or grew up cruising, you are just making observations. Interesting observations, perhaps, but just the observations of an outsider.
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Old 11-03-2013, 04:53   #18
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Re: Reasons you should take your children cruising soon

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Unless you take your kids cruising (for more than a summer holiday) or grew up cruising, you are just making observations. Interesting observations, perhaps, but just the observations of an outsider.
a budding fixation on knives..............
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Old 11-03-2013, 05:00   #19
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Re: Reasons you should take your children cruising soon

I would figure that maybe the Breeding might have a thing to do with the troubles occuring in later life !! We actualy spent time talking to our kids ! trying to show them that life is to be lived. We also tryed to let them see how things really worked in the big wide world !!We educated them, sure by mail back then but 3 of them were given scolarships do to there scores and they all went to collage and 2 of the girls are RNs as is there mother. one girl owns her own health spa. Our son spent 8 yrs in the navy, and is now a mate on a yacht out of So Fla. I guess they are ruined! They think the way to get ahead in life is to have a goal and work for that goal!! Gee kids that spend there childhood at sea can never be Good citizens I guess !! Now you folks have me worried that one of em will be the next mad shooter !!
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Old 11-03-2013, 05:03   #20
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Re: Reasons you should take your children cruising soon

Well Atoll, at least the boy knows how make a meal! and he knows it takes blood and guts to make a meat meal !! And knifes are a tool !!!
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Old 11-03-2013, 05:04   #21
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Re: Reasons you should take your children cruising soon

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Unless you take your kids cruising (for more than a summer holiday) or grew up cruising, you are just making observations. Interesting observations, perhaps, but just the observations of an outsider.
Yes and No .

Odds on that taking kids cruising will turn out fine, if not also very well - but that likely as much to do with them being pretty resilient, including for dealing with parents of "Mixed" capabilities ..........but not exactly hard to see that folks loading kids onto a boat to keep them away from the "big bad world" (which they can't cope with ) has scope for impacting badly on the kids.....but that same ashore as afloat - a boat not the magic cure for anything, including stupidity and p#ss poor parenting.

I had a quick squint at OP's link, what made me smile was the comment along the lines that being on a boat made the parents realise that bringing up their kids was more than sending 'em off to school to be educated. So, floating on a boat maybe not taught the kids anything fundamentally different that what they would have got ashore, but certainly taught the parents something fundamentally important about raising kids .

IMO if the parent is smart at being a parent then things will very likely work out OK when afloat (or at least much chance as if ashore) - but, whilst elective stupidity is not hereditary it can be taught .
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Old 11-03-2013, 05:09   #22
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Re: Reasons you should take your children cruising soon

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Unless you take your kids cruising (for more than a summer holiday) or grew up cruising, you are just making observations. Interesting observations, perhaps, but just the observations of an outsider.
No it doesn't, humans have the ability to analyse situations and bring their mental abilities to bear to reach conclusions. In that we add specific experiences both personal and reported. The conclusions we reach may be right or wrong, but are no different from an position determined "purely" through practical experience, Why , because practical experience only teaches you what you experience. It cannot be generalised without further knowledge, ( ie learning).

Thats why experience AND learning is always better then just experience. ( Its why we have colleges)

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Old 11-03-2013, 07:03   #23
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Re: Reasons you should take your children cruising soon

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after spending 15+ years growing up on a boat,with multiple circumnavigations i'm not sure if my kids ever want to set foot on a cruising yacht ever again.........

there is such a thing as "inflicting your lifestyle on your kids"

i'm not saying they are not better people for learning responsability and how to interact with adults at an early age,but taking kids sailing you rob them of their childhood to a certain extent,whilst fulfilling the parents hedonistic ambitions...........
Oh, I remember my parents robbing me of weekends and summers playing with other kids by making me work on our farm. The horror of a kid not being able to do exactly what they want whenever they want to!

I don't know some kids of today, don't feel exactly that way though, when they don't get their way in everything. You see it everywhere you go thesed days.

I've actually arrested kids in their twenties who asked me if their parents know they are being arrested.

And, most sociopaths, are made by age three or four, and interaction or non-interaction, with other kids and people, is usually not what causes it. It's usually caused by serious and constant abuse, from an early age. A lot worse abuse than making them see the world on a sailboat.
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Old 11-03-2013, 07:13   #24
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Re: Reasons you should take your children cruising soon

Could some of the related problems have to do with why the change in lifestyle occurred?

Maybe there's a difference between sailing full-time(with children), in an attempt to get away from something, as opposed to trying to find something?

Or . . . does it not matter?
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Old 11-03-2013, 07:21   #25
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The transition from boat to land is more challenging than the initial transition from land to boat.

Strange when you consider the known and unknown situations involved in both transitions.....
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Old 11-03-2013, 08:05   #26
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Re: Reasons you should take your children cruising soon

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And, most sociopaths, are made by age three or four, and interaction or non-interaction, with other kids and people, is usually not what causes it. It's usually caused by serious and constant abuse, from an early age. A lot worse abuse than making them see the world on a sailboat.
You almost make being a sociopath sound like a bad thing . Plusses and minuses to everything .

But I agree that "you" make or break kids (and adults) from very early on (first few years) - after that it's mainly working with what has been created, and if that went badly early doors then as much about damage limitation as anything getting later "fixed"........the stuff later can get "fixed", just not the initial stuff.
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Old 11-03-2013, 08:58   #27
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Re: Reasons you should take your children cruising soon

The best advice we were ever given when we decided on a boat life years ago with our daughter was "Take them kicking and screaming if you have to, but take them" Darn right I foisted my values, morals, and ethics on her and stand solidly behind that decision. My wife's and my goals for her happiness was not to raise a future money making machine. Homeschooling played a major part in who she is today. (Costing me an arm and a leg now to get her through college in Europe) But I have to disrespectfully disagree with goboatingnow "Comments about school, TV etc are way of the mark. KIds today are far better educated, arguably more career focussed and unfortunately many are very socially conservative. Theres no evidence that there is any "collapse" in society, far from it." What I've seen over the past years is more of a class society within the educational upbringing of kids today. There are certainly kids who seem to be far more motivated to be better educated and career focused than ever before. But then there has never been the helicopter parent, Tiger Mom phenomena as it is today. Are these kids anymore highly motivated than they have ever been before or is it more the goals of self absorbed driving parents with the desire to have more "MY KID MADE THE HONOR ROLL" window stickers on their SUVs than the next parent all the while stealing their kids right to live a normal short once in a lifetime childhood? In South Fla. most of these kids will be found in private schools. Personally I believe these kids no matter how much more hours of homework can be packed on them will eventually find out that they are not unique at all and for the most part are just another manufactured drone that had more brutal hours homework than we did when we went to school. Not all parents can afford to put their kids in private school and are left to hope that the neighborhood they live in will have a public school that isn't a collection of gang bangers, hood rats, and sociopaths molley coddled by an administration who usually, more often than not, cater to the lowest common denominator and weakest link at the cost of those those willing to learn. Yes I know there are good kids that come out of both systems, but the odds are getting less in their favor. As far as socialization I see a lot of social retards coming out of both systems. One set feels they are entitled and the other feels there is no hope. Personally I don't care to interact with either. But boat kids? By far my experience with them and I've seen and interacted with a lot of them even in my business is that they have the ability to socially relate to all age groups and are by far the most inquisitive and polite group of kids I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. Education is great to a point and we all want to see our children succeed. But I wish our definition of success did not always seem to be based and measured on their abilities of future material gains.
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Old 11-03-2013, 10:09   #28
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Re: Reasons you should take your children cruising soon

Well I feel I must stick up for the "kids cruising" lifestyle! For over 10 years I hopped on multiple sailboats who were cruising with children. I even had a little day care at Marios marina, Rio Dulce, Guatemala. I was continually amazed at the children I met, kids attract kids, so I met a lot. I only had one kid that I felt was gonna have issues when he grew up and it had nothing to do with the cruising but his rather hardcore navy seal dad. I saw zero isolation, because we were mainly in the Caribbean. There seemed to be a network of communication for kids to keep track of each other. This is before the boom in communication tech, now I bet it is even better.
Subjecting your children to a house with four walls, bombardment of the crazy mentality of TV, the bullies of school, the stupid and unrealistic pressure of academics. That lifestyle has it's challenges too, and most survive and become fantastic adults. I think the same can be said for the downsides of cruising, I dare say they will be just fine too .

I did not see any children who were not totally into the adventure. Frankly, it was the adults that were having problems, the kids were too busy swinging from the halyards, making new friends, catching up with old friends, swimming, swapping books, making stuff out of found items, watching DVDs, running around in the dink, etc. .

But, I would hope that a parent would recognize if the child isn't assimilating into the lifestyle and change to suit the needs of the kid. Just like I hope a parent would change when they see their child not assimilating in land based life.
Disclaimer, I am not a parent, but I do know many, and I was a kid who had to assimilate to my parents adventurous life, though I have a feeling they did most of the sacrificing.
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Old 11-03-2013, 11:20   #29
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Re: Reasons you should take your children cruising soon

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Originally Posted by Jimbo485 View Post
Unless you take your kids cruising (for more than a summer holiday) or grew up cruising, you are just making observations. Interesting observations, perhaps, but just the observations of an outsider.
I agree AND I have never grew up cruising nor have I taken my kids cruising (yet!). BUT, my father was in the military, and thus I grew up all over the world. Moved away from the US at 5 and moved back at 16. Lived in the Asian culture for half that time, and the EU culture the other half. I will also say that I learned MANY things that neither my parents, teachers, nor books could have taught me, because there are some things in life that just have to be lived.

One of my favorite lessons(for a couple reasons)..... it is much less dangerous if my neighbor is walking around in his/her back yard naked than it is if he/she is walking around with a shot gun. This is a truth for me....and one that I learned from the experiences I have had. I hope to be able to give my children these experiences as well....to develop there own truths.
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Old 11-03-2013, 12:03   #30
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Re: Reasons you should take your children cruising soon

My kid's (18 and 15) spent two months cruising the Med this last summer. They loved it and look forward to repeating the adventure this summer. They also loved going back home, playing football and Lacrosse, attending school, and hanging out with their friends.

I hear a lot of older folks complaining about young children these days and society as a whole. Probably just like their parents complained about that generation. Personally, I see a lot of well adjusted, respectful, intelligent kids growing up in a fast paced world. There's no problem raising your children while cruising but claiming it is superior to a traditional upbringing is, IMO, myopic.
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