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Old 30-06-2009, 15:44   #16
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Originally Posted by Maren View Post
That's an easy fix. But from what Tao mentioned (the link is block from where I am now) 15k is a bit tight as it is. So I think you consider a squadron course over an ASA course. Now, I havn't taken any courses from them, but there are some respected members here who have.

I do want to go back to the 15k issue. Remember that it needs to include all the little inconviences like taxes, fuel, maintaince, etc. And you may need gear that is required by the CG. And if you are planning to go to the Bahamas, you'll need a 'Q' flag at the very least. The point is costs can sneak up on you with boats.

Here is my second couple of questions:
1) What other concerns does she have?
2) What do you two imagine living aboard will be like? Specifically, that is.
keep in mind I am projecting these concerns

1) she is concerned about our money management strategy. The timespan we have to plan for this adventure, and cashflow once we actually get to the bahamas, as well as stress for overall planning that seems overwhelming

2) I imagine it is a lot like camping. Last year we went on an extended road trip around the country, I feel like this will be much like that we lived out of the car so i imagine we will have more storage space than in the VW Jetta.

DB
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Old 30-06-2009, 16:13   #17
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Yeah, my suess is what ever boat you get there'll be more room to stretch out than in the Jetta!
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Old 30-06-2009, 16:54   #18
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Originally Posted by CaptBrosnan View Post
I am in the process of discovery then we are going to fl to look at boats and get surveys for a month

here's my list of boat candidates let me know which you think is best
Boat Research

thanks,
DB
Awright, went to Yachtworld.com and used the advanced search for Cruisers and Cruiser/Racers between $0-30k and from 30' on up IN Florida...
Came up with 79!
It is definitely a buyers market right now. We just picked up a 34' 73 Bristol for 5700 down around Tampa. She needs some work, but considering a comparable Bristol in great condition is around $25k, I think a little cash and elbow grease is worth it for a great boat. If you don't mind a little work you can always use defects to bargain with. A lot of folks are dumping their boats cuz they can't afford the slips anymore. Some are anchored out and outright abandonded. You can find a great deal with little effort.
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Old 30-06-2009, 17:04   #19
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what can I do to help her transition to a livaboard a comfortable one?
First thing I did was took Nicolle on a 10 day voyage.

That fixed all the problems (or potential ones) after that she could make her own mind about me, the boat, and life on the ocean waves. Or a plane ticket home.

Apart from that, start with very few luxuries. Then even something small makes her life better as time goes on. If she starts with a freezer full of top grade beef and French cheese you will be in trouble when the damn thing breaks down.... she will hit the EPIRB. But start her on Spam 3 times per day (and gruel for breaky) and any future breakdown will just make her want to help you fix it. Fast.


Yesterday Nicolle got a Yoghurt maker that she has been wishing for ages..... We are just about to try the first batch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Mark
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Old 30-06-2009, 18:00   #20
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13 years ago I was in the same boat as your girlfriend and after 13 years I'm still doing stupid things. There are a lot of blogs out there by women that are living aboard including my own. Every cruising partnership is unique and you and she will figure out your own just don't try to emulate the "perfect" ones you read about in the mags or cruising guides or you'll just get discouraged. Give yourselves time to find your own way.
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Old 30-06-2009, 18:07   #21
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One more thing...I love the Bahamas, I spent 5 years there but they are very expensive even if you are staying at anchor all the time. Groceries, boat fixes, shipping, flights in and out can be exorbitant. If you are on a tight budget you might consider other cruising grounds. Of course, some people are going to argue you can live cheaply there or anywhere on a boat but remember you're trying to convince your girlfriend that she likes the boat. I'm not sure the start with "SPAM" and work up method would work for most first mates. It might be okay for a vacation but not for long term.
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Old 30-06-2009, 18:23   #22
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So, Other than the obvious things, what can I do to help her transition to a livaboard a comfortable one?
Being confident leaves many of the unknown issues behind when you finally do know. Learning more about being aboard and understanding makes it feel more comfortable. Being comfortable includes a lot of issues and how you feel may not be about what it really is. Perceptions only give way to knowing more and understanding the things you didn't know now. You could learn you don't want to do this for that long.

You can start out saying you don't care or there is nothing to worry about but quickly all the baggage piles up. It's not just a man vs woman perspective at that level. Suddenly fetching water 100 yards down a slippery dock in mid winter in Delaware is not not what you signed up for. This quickly become not as bad as being cramped together with you! It gets far worse after that. The same thing happens on land so you don't get to leave it all behind.

Living aboard is a state of mind without enough storage space. Bottom paint is worse than mowing grass so nothing is a 100% free lunch. You learn all over again what it means and requires to be happy and suddenly nothing else matters. If you get that far shut up and don't screw up.
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Old 30-06-2009, 18:37   #23
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Here's Your Hat: What's Your Hurry?

Three months, presuming you take a month to buy a boat, to become familiar with its sailing characteristics, systems, and installing whatever required upgrades (better-than-factory electrical system at the least, if it doesn't come with) may be
enough time, but it's pretty slim, IMO.

Find out how she's feeling about the timeline, and if she's skittish for this reason, it may be prudent to give yourselves a year+ with the boat, then leave in late '10 when you're seasoned.

Just a thought.
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Old 30-06-2009, 18:42   #24
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fetching water 100 yards down a slippery dock .
Yes I agree. I have 'rules'. One is that we never lug water! I'll pay a marina to fill the whole 440 litres rather than do it jug by jug.
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Old 01-07-2009, 04:43   #25
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So, Other than the obvious things, what can I do to help her transition to a livaboard a comfortable one?

Thanks
DB
Not to be too presumptuous but a good start might be to point out this site and have her get her own account. We have plenty of experienced female members that would love to offer their perspective directly.

And reassure her we play nice and there are no "dumb" questions.

As to what boat and so on you might start another thread for that. My sense is that we have a high risk of thread drift here...

edit - CaptB has started a "which boat" thread located here - Need Guidance on 30' Cruiser
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Old 01-07-2009, 04:47   #26
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First thing I did was took Nicolle on a 10 day voyage.
Good call...

Quote:
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Yesterday Nicolle got a Yoghurt maker that she has been wishing for ages..... We are just about to try the first batch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yoghurt maker XX months after the beer maker. You definitely have your priorities sorted - LOL

BTW - Welcome back and you owe us all a voyage update!
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Old 01-07-2009, 05:35   #27
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Yes I agree. I have 'rules'. One is that we never lug water! I'll pay a marina to fill the whole 440 litres rather than do it jug by jug.
Such extravagance...
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Old 06-07-2009, 20:21   #28
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I'm also in the category of "happy to help" but confused about the question.

The transition to living aboard depends a lot on who she is as a person, rather than the fact that she is a woman, and what she is nervous about or going to miss. I find a lot of information on "women on board" to be mostly "pink job" information - which is useful but I think unfairly aimed at those of us with ovaries. Is she a mostly "pink job" person or a "pink and blue job" person or a mostly "blue job" person? Does she like getting dirty? Is she athletic? Do you two share all tasks or divvy?

vs. getting experience sailing/navigating/bleeding fuel systems which is basically the same for both genders IMHO except it may help her to see or hear about other women "doing it" as she is probably not seeing/hearing as many women as men in the in charge/active role.

Is she lurking? Make her get an account and chime in here! We only bite when asked, and then only sometimes

Or, if she wants to talk to a woman off the board I'm sure a number of us (including myself) would be happy to chat. PM me.
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Old 06-07-2009, 21:02   #29
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The transition to living aboard depends a lot on who she is as a person, rather than the fact that she is a woman
I don't think it is limited to women either. Major lifestyle changes sound great but all have the dark and ugly parts. The getting to know all the ins and outs takes time and the room to have the time to settle in. people adjust to big changes easier or harder and I think it has little to do with gender.

CF can offer reassurance and suggestions for making specifics go a little better. It's not the whole thing but sharing helps. It's the one area where we have a great track record. We have many members that went for zero to cruising the whole time they were here. It's not that we are that good but we have the depth to share that much. Lots of experienced members back up all the great warmth.
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Old 07-07-2009, 02:48   #30
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I think you can apply the transition to any walk of life, whether it be a boat, a camper van, a cave or even downsizing a regular house type home.

New routines, different living spaces, different facilities and amenities etc, .........but what an adventure.
I like the opportunity to adapt to change. I see it as a chance to learn new things and stay mentally young.
Whilst i like routine, i hate monotony and I need the challenge of new circumstances to stop me getting in a rut.
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