Originally Posted by MarkJ
At least you understand my point
Indeed I do.
I was single
for 37 years, and could do whatever I wanted to. I have been married for 14.
I was very
happy being single
, and had enough fun to last a lifetime. But I am still much more happy being married and will not go back to being single (unless forced). But it is a hell of a lot of work, and dictating how you take your vacations is not part of the deal, if your wife has a mind of her own (and if she doesn't, she's not worth being married to). That's why all the other guys in this thread are agonizing over how to persuade and sell. These problems are not indicative of their being kitty-whipped. It's just part of married life.
In some ways it's even more fun that way -- it's an additional challenge, which is rewarding when you are able to overcome it. And once you have, it's more fun together, than if you were by yourself (notwithstanding all the missed opportunities you might have had cruising alone!).
Spoiling them is a classical, and very effective tactic, as you guys already know. This question is very much on my mind right now, because I am just in the process of buying
my own boat instead of chartering every year, and so the crucial question comes up how to get them to go along with more and more time on the water. She is supportive (she is even contributing $100k out of her rainy day fund), but it's a huge step up in commitment to sailing, compared to chartering a few weeks a year, so she has lots of misgivings. A few things I am doing:
1. Honey, it's much more comfortable and roomy than the charter
boats we always had.
2. You can decorate it! There's room on the bulkhead for pictures, and unlike charter
boats, this one is our very own and you can pick out linens and dishes and all that other crap.
3. It has a washer/dryer on board!
4. It's got (will have) a watermaker
, so I swear I'll never yell at you again about leaving the shower
on while you're soaping up! I swear!
5. It's got a special place just for you to sunbathe! (It's a center cockpit
boat with an after deck).
6. I'll do all the cooking! (Besides the navigating, helming, sail-handling, passage
planning, mechanical repairs
, but never mind.)
7. Our children
will grow up to be real sailor-men (even the girls) with solid values in life!
8. Think of how much money
we'll save on renting
them! (My wife is too smart for that one; didn't fall for it for a minute.)
The ultimate secret weapon -- I'm trying to figure out how to put in a hot tub.
You hard core
single sailors will be amazed at all this ridiculous unseamanlike bulls**t we go through, but I suspect you married guys will understand exactly
what this is all about. You'll also know it's worth it in the end!