Cruisers Forum
 


Join CruisersForum Today

Reply
 
Thread Tools Rate Thread Display Modes
Old 15-09-2011, 02:09   #91
Registered User
 
pauliebear's Avatar

Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Auckland New Zealand {land of the long white cloud}
Boat: William Garden Transworld 41
Posts: 36
Re: More Men-and-Women Issues

didnt ask if Im domesticated or not, so really close too apart from the age difference lol
__________________

__________________
pauliebear is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-09-2011, 02:41   #92
Registered User
 
Cherp's Avatar

Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Hobart Australia
Boat: Catalina Morgan 45
Posts: 308
Re: More Men-and-Women Issues

I dream of the olden days when the little woman (ball and chain) stayed home and cooked and cleaned. The man came home to his meat and three veg. Life was simpler. Roles defined. No drills in the arse. Those were the days my friends.
__________________

__________________
Cherp is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-09-2011, 02:50   #93
Registered User
 
Aussie Sealady's Avatar

Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Sydney
Boat: Top Hat Mk 2 25 foot
Posts: 52
Re: More Men-and-Women Issues

Ahhh MarinerJo

If only. (Sigh)

From your details on here a man who can sail, wear a hat well and good with horses!!!!

What more could a woman want.

Geography is an issue.
Ahh well (another sigh)
__________________
Aussie Sealady is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-09-2011, 02:51   #94
Registered User
 
Aussie Sealady's Avatar

Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Sydney
Boat: Top Hat Mk 2 25 foot
Posts: 52
Re: More Men-and-Women Issues

Cherp.
If you have that enjoy it.

Pauly Bear. Pity you are in NZ.

How is the Rugby going?
__________________
Aussie Sealady is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-09-2011, 02:52   #95
Freelance Delivery Skipper..
 
boatman61's Avatar

Community Sponsor
Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: PORTUGAL
Posts: 20,221
Images: 2
pirate Re: More Men-and-Women Issues

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aussie Sealady View Post
Ahhh MarinerJo

If only. (Sigh)

From your details on here a man who can sail, wear a hat well and good with horses!!!!

What more could a woman want.

Geography is an issue.
Ahh well (another sigh)
And you said you were a "Go Getter..."
__________________


Born To Be Wild
boatman61 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-09-2011, 02:55   #96
Registered User
 
Aussie Sealady's Avatar

Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Sydney
Boat: Top Hat Mk 2 25 foot
Posts: 52
Re: More Men-and-Women Issues

Another (Sigh)
__________________
Aussie Sealady is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-09-2011, 03:11   #97
Freelance Delivery Skipper..
 
boatman61's Avatar

Community Sponsor
Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: PORTUGAL
Posts: 20,221
Images: 2
pirate Re: More Men-and-Women Issues

LOL....
__________________


Born To Be Wild
boatman61 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-09-2011, 03:19   #98
Registered User
 
anjou's Avatar

Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Malvernshire, on the sunny side of the hill.
Boat: 50' steel canal and river cruiser
Posts: 1,905
Re: More Men-and-Women Issues

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cherp View Post
I dream of the olden days when the little woman (ball and chain) stayed home and cooked and cleaned. The man came home to his meat and three veg. Life was simpler. Roles defined. No drills in the arse. Those were the days my friends.

If you were in my life with that attitude, you would be minus your meat and two veg.
__________________
www.amy-artimis.blogspot.com
anjou is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-09-2011, 03:22   #99
Registered User
 
Cherp's Avatar

Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Hobart Australia
Boat: Catalina Morgan 45
Posts: 308
Re: More Men-and-Women Issues

My wife has a PhD in psychology. She's very bright. She steers our boat and I crew. Works for me. She also has spatial ability which I do not. My forte is making sense of ambiguity. She don't scare me. I'm pleased she's bright. She once said it is a pity they don't have "show and tell" at the university because she could take me as an exhibit .
__________________
Cherp is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-09-2011, 03:24   #100
Registered User
 
Cherp's Avatar

Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Hobart Australia
Boat: Catalina Morgan 45
Posts: 308
Re: More Men-and-Women Issues

Quote:
Originally Posted by anjou View Post
If you were in my life with that attitude, you would be minus your meat and two veg.
Har har har
__________________
Cherp is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-09-2011, 04:06   #101
Eternal Member
 
imagine2frolic's Avatar

Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Las Brisas Panama AGAIN!
Boat: Simpson, Catamaran, 46ft. IMAGINE
Posts: 4,508
Images: 123
Re: More Men-and-Women Issues

Quote:
Originally Posted by anjou View Post
If you were in my life with that attitude, you would be minus your meat and two veg.
Oh yeah, and WITTY too......i2f
__________________
SAILING is not always a slick magazine cover!
BORROWED..No single one of is as smart as all of us!
http://sailingwithcancer.blogspot.com/
imagine2frolic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-09-2011, 04:25   #102
Registered User

Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 4,413
Re: More Men-and-Women Issues

Relationships are difficult as interests, and desires, need to mesh and compliments... and there are so many of them... it almost always involves compromise. The concept is great, but unless you seriously alter your *wish list* expectations, and so forth... these will come back to haunt you. People need to grow together on a shared path... not as easy as it sounds.

Now devoted sailors (cruiser types) all share the *competence thing*... they are good at all sorts of activities... sailing, navigation, and maintaining all the systems on a boat... and that's fairly complex. Men seem to adapt well to that level of mechanical pursuits...

Many relationships work because there is a complimenting of roles... and this is a notion many accept and grow comfortable. He is the earner, the fixer and she is the care giver, the cook, blah blah blah. He is masculine... she is feminine. This is the prevailing paradigm. And it can work for sailing couples. But it's really not the best way. Yes it does relieve skipper from, for example, preparing meals.. or cleaning (traditional female roles)... but this is quite different than sharing ALL roles.... which offers a kind of redundancy.

With the rise of the feminist paradigm.. many women have jumped into all the traditional male jobs and roles. All of course except altering their "gender qualities". This often creates a kind of cognitive dissonance... people want to be in the new paradigm on one hand and the other at other times... or simultaneously! This is a difficult conflict for both males and females to resolve in some of the modern type relationships. it's no longer a male dominant - female dominant paradigm.. but a male AND female dominant one. No leader follower... two leaders! YIKES

If the legacy roles were not lurking there is the background this should not be a problem... it would be like two dominant competent males sharing a boat, the responsibilities - a boat share partnership. But when the common sexual paradigm is considered it usually being male dominant and female submissive (sorry for the shorthand)... the modern dominant - dominant paradigm has to be set aside. YIKES... turning on and off paradigms constantly is rather difficult to pull off.

What to do? You need to partner up within one paradigm or you and she be a good paradigm switchers... something few can do.

Some I suppose establish clear roles for various aspects of their relationships... She may be in new paradigm for *work*... sailing duties and so forth... but when it comes to *romance* they revert to the old paradigm.. or *another one*.

I've dated... many years ago.. a women who was very capable, fixed things, loved to do all the mechanical things, but was also very feminine and *blonde*. She could jump between roles. She was a rare bird. Most of the sailor gals I met and respect, have abandoned their *feminine side*. This doesn't mean they aren't physically attractive or look and dress like males.... but it means that the more traditional fem roles no longer interest them... they seem to have moved pretty much to being strong independent career oriented not family or nesting oriented women.

I'm not going to pass judgment on any of the female sailors on CF... they all sound great to me...nor the men. When sailing/cruising becomes a lifestyle or central focus of your life, male and or female it most defintely will skew the traditional paradigm of male female roles. It can work... but both parties need to be mindful of what this entails... and that means re alignment of gender role/responsibility/duties expectations.
__________________
Sandero is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-09-2011, 04:50   #103
Registered User
 
anjou's Avatar

Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Malvernshire, on the sunny side of the hill.
Boat: 50' steel canal and river cruiser
Posts: 1,905
Re: More Men-and-Women Issues

All very profound defjef, it kinda spells out what we all know to be the case. There are places / situations / societies where the new thinking of role sharing can work, without anyone being undervalued, upstaged or left feeling out egoed, but they aint round here.

Travel broadens the mind and typical Brits dont travel much and it makes for an introverted, narrow minded society where those who are different are treated with contempt and mistrust by those who cannot handle change.

Mum started computer classes last winter. Shes 70 soon and her peer group are the same age. She lives in a backwater where things havent changed, despite the advent of global TV. Most of the class have learned to copy and paste, drag and drop, email, up and download etc but one woman is having a hard time getting it so in typical local fashion, she protects herself by accusing the learned of 'showing off' or being too 'bloody clever'

When I was 11, I failed my exams for secondary school, meaning I couldnt go to the Grammar, and was destined for the Comprehensive, a lesser school by far. I was sent to boarding school instead, but, my parents had me assesed and found my IQ was 135. I was bright but not academic, but it meant that I was bullied through school.
What Mum and I experienced is the flip side of the same coin. It seems to go with the teritory, a local phenominon of a small introverted community.

On a wider scale, British men treat women the same way. If we are dumb, we are badly treated and abused, if we are bright go getters, we are resented.
This happens at all levels. In 1976, the sex discrimination act was passed. It meant that women cannot be paid less than men for doing the same job, yet 36 years on, the pay gap is just as bad. The percentage of women in top jobs is less than 10%, most of the low paid and part time jobs are done by women, many of those are part time and dont have contracts or job protection and security.
Now the recession is biting hard, the biggest rise in unemployment is in young people and women.

Stop the country, I wanna get off.
__________________
www.amy-artimis.blogspot.com
anjou is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-09-2011, 04:59   #104
Certifiable Refitter/Senior Wannbe
 
Wotname's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: South of 43 S, Australia
Boat: Van DeStat Super Dogger 31'
Posts: 7,334
Re: More Men-and-Women Issues

Hmm... sounds like a bad hair day Anjou, I trust tomorrow (or next week) will be brighter.
__________________
All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangereous men, for they may act their dreams with open eyes, to make it possible. T.E. Lawrence
Wotname is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-09-2011, 06:07   #105
Moderator Emeritus
 
GordMay's Avatar

Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Thunder Bay, Ontario - 48-29N x 89-20W
Boat: (Cruiser Living On Dirt)
Posts: 31,592
Images: 240
Re: More Men-and-Women Issues

Quote:
Originally Posted by anjou View Post
... I'm not a qualifications type person. The way I see it is you can either do the job or you can't. A qualification can be designed and printed off in 10 min, or bought. It holds little merit to me...
Which suggests that you might invest a few minutes in designing and printing a suitable "qualification" for yourself. It might reflect those things you can do well.
__________________

__________________
Gord May
"If you didn't have the time or money to do it right in the first place, when will you get the time/$ to fix it?"



GordMay is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
men

Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Men Taking Over from Women Rakuflames Families, Kids and Pets Afloat 51 10-09-2011 18:40



Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:13.


Google+
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Social Knowledge Networks
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

ShowCase vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.