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Old 14-09-2011, 18:07   #76
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Re: More Men-and-Women Issues

I just read a few more of the comments so will add a few comical comments I have had over the years.

When reversing a trailerable boat I had a man come up to me and say:

"You reversed that really well... for a woman."

When my sister and I painted her house and then she had a professional painter come in to do some extra work.
He said,
"This is a pretty good paint job for a couple of girls."
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Old 14-09-2011, 18:14   #77
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pirate Re: More Men-and-Women Issues

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Originally Posted by Aussie Sealady View Post
Sadly Anjou, I think there are many men who admire a capable woman but don't want to be with one.

I have my own business, and sail my boat solo sometimes.

Often when I have meetings and take along a male staff member, my male client automatically presumes that he is the boss.

My sister and mum are also very sucessful in their own fields and I have a female sailing friend who is a Yacht Master, has her own boat, as well as a pilot plus other accomplishments.

What is the one thing we all have in common.

We are all single.

We have all been married or in relationships but the relationships all broke down once we started to earn more money or became more 'sucessful' in whatever than our partners.

My experience is that whilst most gentlemen admire our achievements I think we have a long way to go.

My friends say that the men are intimidated by us. All of the women I have mentioned are feminine and gorgeous. (I am of course the best looking ha ha)

I even know a female doctor who when dating says she is a nurse. Otherwise she does not get a date.

We need to work out a way that we can all get along. And have men not feel that we are emasculating them. That is certainly not our intention.

Maybe we need a mens lib movement.
I have thought this for quite a while.

Gentlemen we love you and think you are wonderful.
Hey... it phase's me not a jot that your more successful than me... or earn more than me or... sail better than me..
Its just I know I'll be labeled a "Gold Digging Bludger".... for sure...
Not sure if 'Dirty ole git ' would come before or after...
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Old 14-09-2011, 18:40   #78
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Re: More Men-and-Women Issues

I think the word socialize could be applied to the situation for a variety of reasons. Women and men are often socialized differently and that combined with genetic imperatives can result in some less then desirable behaviors. Put a group of men whom have brought up to believe in a certain image of manliness and femininity into a situation where they affirm each other's view and certain patterns become fixed. It is the same with women. Unfortunately you seem to have found yourself around a certain type of men who have modeled themselves on a limited view of what a man and woman can be.

Obviously it isn't that way everywhere. I confess that this winter while I was struggling with an engine problem I thought to myself, "It's a shame Amy lives so far away. If I knew a woman like that around here I could invite her to a nice dinner on the boat and casually drop into the conversation that I'm having trouble with the motor." I suppose that's another type of socialization!

I've been a penniless wanderer and I've had a very high paying job and gone back to being a poor musician whose most valuable asset is his boat. I have found this to be something many women can't fathom. Another form of socialization in my opinion but I think that if you're not happy then what's the point?

So good luck and be yourself. The *****'s going to come down the tube anyway.
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Old 14-09-2011, 18:49   #79
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pirate Re: More Men-and-Women Issues

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I think the word socialize could be applied to the situation for a variety of reasons. Women and men are often socialized differently and that combined with genetic imperatives can result in some less then desirable behaviors. Put a group of men whom have brought up to believe in a certain image of manliness and femininity into a situation where they affirm each other's view and certain patterns become fixed. It is the same with women. Unfortunately you seem to have found yourself around a certain type of men who have modeled themselves on a limited view of what a man and woman can be.

Obviously it isn't that way everywhere. I confess that this winter while I was struggling with an engine problem I thought to myself, "It's a shame Amy lives so far away. If I knew a woman like that around here I could invite her to a nice dinner on the boat and casually drop into the conversation that I'm having trouble with the motor." I suppose that's another type of socialization!

I've been a penniless wanderer and I've had a very high paying job and gone back to being a poor musician whose most valuable asset is his boat. I have found this to be something many women can't fathom. Another form of socialization in my opinion but I think that if you're not happy then what's the point?

So good luck and be yourself. The *****'s going to come down the tube anyway.
+A1.....
Welcome back Hummingway... aint seen you for a while... hope you had a grand summer
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Old 14-09-2011, 18:54   #80
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Re: More Men-and-Women Issues

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+A1.....
Welcome back Hummingway... aint seen you for a while... hope you had a grand summer
Thanks boatman. It started late but once it got going it was a good one. The boat was well behaved and I did my best
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Old 14-09-2011, 20:22   #81
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Re: More Men-and-Women Issues

Who do you think is the prouder of these two?

Fair warning: It is about a husband (he is a friend of mine) and wife team who just came back from a grizzly bear hunt in the Yukon last week; she got a huge bear, and I'm not sure if he or she is prouder. Link includes picture of bear... shot at 9 yards... quite the story.

So WHAT role reversals?

Anjou, I'd love to have one of those dip sticks that are annoying you to try and tell Vanessa how she isn't capable of A or B. I suspect she would not be too shy about settling them down in a hurry.

If you follow that thread through, you'll find all those macho big boy hunters men congratulating Vanessa. None of them would ever think of demeaning her.
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Old 14-09-2011, 20:41   #82
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Re: More Men-and-Women Issues

Anjou-
I think you're great!
Too bad I'm happily married - I'd like to x-ray your welds or hand you some 7018 or do some grinding or something.......
Keep at it!!
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Old 14-09-2011, 22:11   #83
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Re: More Men-and-Women Issues

Anjou... been following your build and admire you greatly...You Rock! Don't let these appleknockers get you down. I'm happily married and totally admire ladies like yourself who break out of the subserviant mold and show everone what you are capable of.
Your home is awesome and there are very few of either gender who could have accomplished such an undertaking.
You are truly the equal or better than any guy who tried to do what you have done.
You have many admirers on this thread and all wish you well.
Personally, I'm putting my wife through medical school and we both look at it as an investment, although she will oulive me by several decades and derive more satisfaction from her endevours than I will.
Life is just a bowl of cherries... tastes great but there are a few pits... keep your chin up and don't change... cheers, Capt Phil
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Old 14-09-2011, 22:48   #84
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Re: More Men-and-Women Issues

Alas Anjou, It seems the men who admire you on here are already taken.

Maybe there is truth in the saying that the best ones are married or gay.
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Old 14-09-2011, 23:05   #85
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Re: More Men-and-Women Issues

I take that as a compliment, Sealady... Anjou, and those like her are to be treasured for blazing a trail few other could follow, either female or male. My better half grew up on a cattle property in the 'Top End' so we had some sorting out to do when we first got together but she taught an old dog like me that gender has little to do with ability and regularly outshines me in most endeavours. However, I can still ski her into the ground... cheers, Capt Phil
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Old 14-09-2011, 23:06   #86
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Re: More Men-and-Women Issues

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Alas Anjou, It seems the men who admire you on here are already taken.

Maybe there is truth in the saying that the best ones are married or gay.
Or a few years too senior for you.
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Old 14-09-2011, 23:09   #87
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Re: More Men-and-Women Issues

Anjou,
Much like Capt Phil, I've been a big fan of your blog & think you should load some of those pics onto your cv & pass them out. Maybe, find a few who are building boats in your area - you know the usual boatbuilding/design sites - and offer your services for a price. That way they can finish their boats in under 10 years & won't be embarrassed to let others go below. As for THAT guy; his issues, not yours.
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Old 14-09-2011, 23:10   #88
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Re: More Men-and-Women Issues

Count me in that mob, avb3... cheers, CP
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Old 15-09-2011, 00:37   #89
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Re: More Men-and-Women Issues

Yes that is a compliment to all of you wonderful men out there.

I will put in a plug for what I am seeking just in case there are any single male sailors around.

1. Can at least be on a boat without falling out of the dinghy. Had one who fell out 5 times in 1 day.
2. If can do things, do it. If can't say so and don't try to impress and get it wrong.
3. Have a job, and not want me to totally support you. (Or be brilliant in other areas
4. Be willing to do things where it does not matter who is the most accomplished. Willing to teach and to learn.
5. Be able to hold a conversation.
6. Can peel grapes and wave palm fronds ... ha ha

Don't think that is asking too much. Is it?
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Old 15-09-2011, 01:48   #90
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Re: More Men-and-Women Issues

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Originally Posted by Aussie Sealady View Post
Yes that is a compliment to all of you wonderful men out there.

I will put in a plug for what I am seeking just in case there are any single male sailors around.

1. Can at least be on a boat without falling out of the dinghy. Had one who fell out 5 times in 1 day.
2. If can do things, do it. If can't say so and don't try to impress and get it wrong.
3. Have a job, and not want me to totally support you. (Or be brilliant in other areas
4. Be willing to do things where it does not matter who is the most accomplished. Willing to teach and to learn.
5. Be able to hold a conversation.
6. Can peel grapes and wave palm fronds ... ha ha

Don't think that is asking too much. Is it?
Hmmm....I'm really really close on this one. Really.
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