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Old 14-09-2011, 14:18   #61
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Re: More Men-and-Women Issues

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Originally Posted by Rakuflames View Post
A guy who is a guest on another boat says "Wow -- there's a woman at the wheel! WoW -- she's docking! WOW!!!!! she knew how to that!"

He was contemplating getting a boat. His conclusion? If a woman can do it, so can he.

He thought he was being complimentary.
Some folks are just dumb as donuts (I have my moments as well ). Thinking is one thing, saying in earshot is another - he can't be married, otherwise would have learned better

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It's not really a "man's world." It is, however, a world in which some men THINK it's a man's world.
Agree (if that's only the sailing world we are talking about).........but I am amazed that it bothers so many folk what others say or think about them. For me I genuinely don't give a sh#t and FWIW I married a woman with the same attitude to 99% of humans......and half of that 1% she killed
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Old 14-09-2011, 14:19   #62
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Re: More Men-and-Women Issues

anjou,
You can come and work on my yacht any day.....

I've met so many cr*p male "engineers" - I'm happy to loose the testosterone to a competent engineer. I promise I'll not try and help - that way the jobs will be done much sooner

Go for it.....

Just do not let (gender) pride come before practicality/Common sense ..... (like all us men do ha ha)

Good luck to you in your en-devours ....
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Old 14-09-2011, 14:44   #63
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Re: More Men-and-Women Issues

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Originally Posted by David_Old_Jersey View Post
Some folks are just dumb as donuts (I have my moments as well ). Thinking is one thing, saying in earshot is another - he can't be married, otherwise would have learned better



Agree (if that's only the sailing world we are talking about).........but I am amazed that it bothers so many folk what others say or think about them. For me I genuinely don't give a sh#t and FWIW I married a woman with the same attitude to 99% of humans......and half of that 1% she killed
The man involved IS married.

Why does it matter? Because as a sailor, you ARE going to be surrounded by men more than women.

And, it can matter a great deal what others think of you.
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Old 14-09-2011, 14:53   #64
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pirate Re: More Men-and-Women Issues

[QUOTE=Rakuflames;775173]The man involved IS married.

Why does it matter? Because as a sailor, you ARE going to be surrounded by men more than women. QUOTE]

Speak for yourself....
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Old 14-09-2011, 15:08   #65
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Re: More Men-and-Women Issues

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Originally Posted by Rakuflames View Post
The man involved IS married.

Why does it matter? Because as a sailor, you ARE going to be surrounded by men more than women.

And, it can matter a great deal what others think of you.
I will end this conversation as I think you taking things / people way too seriously, which is perhaps...........
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Old 14-09-2011, 15:13   #66
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Re: More Men-and-Women Issues

Met a couple years ago in Mazatlan, both in their early 30's... after what they described as some months of trial and error, they found their own areas of expertise. He was an accomplished sailor, chef but not very good mechanically. She was very organized, outstanding mechanical/electrical skills and hated cooking. She successfully helped me trouble shoot several electrical gremlins aboard our boat. They got on marvelously well and we became good friends. At one point he returned state-side on a work contract while she remained on board working on maintenance projects until he returned. The point is to each be able to do what we do best without the gender/testosterone/estrogen thing getting in the way. Capt Phil
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Old 14-09-2011, 15:15   #67
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Re: More Men-and-Women Issues

Hi all
Ive not been on CF since this thread started cos the whole damn thing has got me down.
The guy who started all this crap off called me late on Friday night, even though he said he wouldnt call me again. What he said next told me im right but it still doesnt sit well.
Even though I told him from the start I wasnt interested in a relationship, sexual or otherwise, hes pushed it in that direction and ive had to back away because of it. Now hes chasing me again. It all comes down to the fact ive turned him down and he doesnt like it, his pride is hurt, even though hes done it to himself. His final words were the insult many women encounter. If a woman turns a man down she must be a lesbian. Ironically, ive had a few encounters but thats got nothing to do with this.
Why does this always have to end the same way? If a woman has the last word, knows more or can do better than a man, he accuses her of being less than 'all woman'

Anyway, over the weekend, ive had yet more boat visitors, some havent seen it before but I get the same reaction. They think im part genius, part miracle. I disagree, and whilst I occasionally praise myself, im usually modest.

Money has become an issue lately and I need to get a job. Im crap at selling myself and havent got a clue. Ive done a lot of things over the last 30 ish years but have little paperwork to show for it. Im not a qualifications type person, the way I see it is you can either do the job or you cant, a qualification can be designed and printed off in 10 mins or bought. It holds little merit to me.

So I sent my CV to an agancy this morning, asking for help in identifying where my best opportunities lie. Ive just had the call back. The guy said they cant help. Im too experienced in too many fields for them to focus on or point me at one sector of the work place. In short, im unemployable in the mainstream world.

Now I dont know what percentage of the population can do what I do, just say its 5%, surely that makes me rare and sought after, not unemployable. I went to them for their specialist knowledge of staff recruitment, yet they cannot help.

This is turning into life crisis counselling I know, but I only wanted to let off some steam.
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Old 14-09-2011, 15:30   #68
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pirate Re: More Men-and-Women Issues

Anjou...
Why work for an agency and let them skim the cream... advertise yourself...
I have a very dear friend in the States... funny thing... she's a woman as well...
Ace carpenter/cabinet maker/boat builder.... also an excellent web designer...
Build a web page... 30quid a year and your in everyones face... especially if you use your CF name..... lol.
Was gonna show some of her work but she's done a fancy page and I cannot copy and paste... itsa bludi slide show...
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Old 14-09-2011, 15:50   #69
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Re: More Men-and-Women Issues

Don't worry about the bonehead who won't take NO! for an answer. His tender little ego has been damaged. If you want to get rid of him tell him you a ARE a lesbian and it's because of guys like him.
As far as finding work goes it can be a tough slog. The head hunting agencies are geared to the norm, not the exceptional so you will have to do it on your own. I know it can be tough to sell yourself if you are not good at self promotion but it is a practiced art and gets easier with practice. You need to ooze self confidence when you are dealing with potential employers.

I personally hate CV's or resumes as we call them on this side of the pond as they are mostly bs and don't really reflect a persons true abilities but they seem to be the only way to get past the front desk. I have seen your workman/womanship and was thinking a portfolio showcasing what you have done so far would say more about you than anything you could possibly put into words.

Don't give in to despair and let no one erode your self confidence.
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Old 14-09-2011, 15:54   #70
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Re: More Men-and-Women Issues

I never knew Oscar Wilde used to boot leg liquor across the Gibraltar Straights?
And if you can Lie on the floor without holding on then you are monitoring the weather just fine and do NOT need to shorten sail.
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Old 14-09-2011, 16:50   #71
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Re: More Men-and-Women Issues

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Originally Posted by David_Old_Jersey View Post
I will end this conversation as I think you taking things / people way too seriously, which is perhaps...........
Don't ask if you don't want to hear all the answers.
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Old 14-09-2011, 17:01   #72
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pirate Re: More Men-and-Women Issues

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Originally Posted by Rakuflames View Post
Don't ask if you don't want to hear all the answers.
ROTFLMBO.....
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Old 14-09-2011, 17:22   #73
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Re: More Men-and-Women Issues

The "men" who would criticize "non-typical" gender role will say the same thing to a women as a guy - women has a cock - guy is a "fag".
Hate that "strong" women analogy - they are like short guy syndrome - very annoying - lighten up already...Greg Kinnear explains it perfectly...
My ex makes 8 figures and still does my laundry - nothing wrong with that...
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Old 14-09-2011, 17:34   #74
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Re: More Men-and-Women Issues

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You say Ironicly it has nothing to do with it..would seem to have a lot to do with it and if so why not tell him unless he is homophobic he will leave you alone maybe..
I've always dated emotionally strong women and I appreciate non-traditional talents they may have. I'm one heck of a cook; that doesn't make me any worse in doing mechanical or maintenance work.

So why should a woman's abilities in a non-traditional role intimidate men? Or is it that they need to compensate for some of their other errrrr.... shortcomings?

Tell the guy to get off your case, or you'll have to tell him a short story about sex and travel. Of course if he's that dense, he probably wouldn't get what you were saying.
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Old 14-09-2011, 18:00   #75
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Re: More Men-and-Women Issues

Sadly Anjou, I think there are many men who admire a capable woman but don't want to be with one.

I have my own business, and sail my boat solo sometimes.

Often when I have meetings and take along a male staff member, my male client automatically presumes that he is the boss.

My sister and mum are also very sucessful in their own fields and I have a female sailing friend who is a Yacht Master, has her own boat, as well as a pilot plus other accomplishments.

What is the one thing we all have in common.

We are all single.

We have all been married or in relationships but the relationships all broke down once we started to earn more money or became more 'sucessful' in whatever than our partners.

My experience is that whilst most gentlemen admire our achievements I think we have a long way to go.

My friends say that the men are intimidated by us. All of the women I have mentioned are feminine and gorgeous. (I am of course the best looking ha ha)

I even know a female doctor who when dating says she is a nurse. Otherwise she does not get a date.

We need to work out a way that we can all get along. And have men not feel that we are emasculating them. That is certainly not our intention.

Maybe we need a mens lib movement.
I have thought this for quite a while.

Gentlemen we love you and think you are wonderful.
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